“I don’t expect this from you,” he murmurs, running a hand through my hair.
“I want to. So badly.”
He lifts his hips up so I can tug down his shorts. His dick is massive, the same color as his skin except for a slightly pink and swollen mushroom head. Clear pre-cum glistens between the slit, and my tongue darts out to lick without thought. It’s heady, salty, and delicious.
“Fuuuuuuck,” he draws out under his breath. It fills me with the much needed confidence to continue. I take him into my mouth as far as I can go, which isn’t far. A brief thought about how this will fit inside me during sex flutters through my mind, but I push it away. That’s putting the cart before the horse.
I bob up and down at my leisure, getting used to the motion and depth most comfortable for me. Bo’s patient, letting me explore and cluing me in on what feels best through his grunts and groans. I release him with pop and lick down the underside of his impressive length. I want to taste all of him, so I move down to his weighty sack. I suck one into my mouth before releasing it and moving to the next, all while jacking him off. Bo lets out a sigh of pleasure, so I do it again.
“I’m going to come. You decide where it goes.” His voice is thick and breathy.
“I want to feel you come in my mouth,” I admit and go back to sucking on his cock. His hand rests on the back of my head but he doesn’t put any weight on it.
It only takes a minute longer before his breath catches and his cock jerks. Thick, hot, semen spills into my mouth. My throat wants to reject it, but my mind doesn’t. I swallow each spurt as he ejaculates, making soft sounds of pleasure.
“Get up here.” He pulls his shorts and underwear back over himself and then tugs me up his body, turning so we’re once again lying side by side. He kisses my forehead, my cheeks, and my nose before giving me another heart stopping kiss on my lips.
“Was I okay?” I ask, and I hate myself for it. I want to have the same confidence with sex that I have with my patients. At work, I’m knowledgeable and self-assured. But here, like this, I’m a novice at best. I know the mechanics, I’ve seen it done in porn, but it’s not enough to prepare me for the reality.
“Better than. That was the best blow job I’ve ever had,” he swears. I narrow my eyes at him and he chuckles, the sound rumbling through his body. “Hand to God, it was.”
“I’m going to choose to believe you because the alternative is mortifying.”
That makes him laugh even harder. “You’re too much, doc.”
We lie there for long, quiet minutes before I ask the question I’ve been too nervous to ask. “Do you plan on sticking that thing up my ass?”
He roars his laughter this time and I slap a hand over his mouth. We both freeze, expecting a cry to come from the bedroom, and then let out a collective sigh when it remains silent.
“If that’s what you want,” he says.
“What do you mean? Isn’t that how this works?”
“Everyone has their own preferences and it works differently for each couple.”
“What if that’s what I want?”
“Then that’s what we’ll do. I’ve bottomed a couple times, mostly to see what it feels like, but I’m a top.” He takes my hand in his and rests it over his heart. The steady thump thump thump calms me.
“When I think about sex, I picture myself being on the receiving end.”
“Looks like we’re a perfect match then.”
“Looks like,” I agree. And isn’t it the damn truth. He came into my life at the peak of chaos. Anyone else would’ve turned tail and ran. But not Bo. He embraced the mayhem.
“Are you hungry? I brought stuff to make carbonara.”
My stomach rumbles and he takes that as his answer. We untangle ourselves from each other and he gets up. I watch as he walks into the kitchen. I bite my lower lip, wondering what I did to get so lucky.
Chapter Six
Boaz
“Are you going to tell me where you’ve been going every night?” Dad grumbles from his chair while I unload groceries.
“I told you, with a friend.” I roll my eyes.
He’s been pressing me for information the last couple weeks, but I’m not ready to tell him about Lance. If I could keep him a secret for however long we’re together, I would. But lately, however long feels more like forever and hiding someone I want to spend my life with seems implausible.
“There ain’t no friend good enough for me to want to hang out every night of the week.”
“Then you don’t have the right kind of friend,” I say under my breath.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing, Pops.” I put away the milk, turn to grab the cheese, and am startled to see Dad standing in my way.
“I know you’ve met someone,” he says.
“We don’t need to go there.”
“I think we do because if you’re spending this much time with… someone,” he says carefully. “Then they must be important. I’ll remind you that I’m tolerant of a lot of things, but you need to keep that shit private.”
“Jesus, do you even hear yourself? You’re tolerant, but only if it’s not in front of your face.”
“Your mother and I raised you to be God fearing. When you told me you’re… the way you are, I didn’t say nothing. Your brother needed you and I didn’t want to take that away from him.”
“More like you needed me to take care of him and were willing to accept me if it benefitted you. Am I right?” This conversation grates on my nerves and has my blood boiling.
I knew he wasn’t thrilled when I came out to him, but he didn’t shun me. I took it as a good sign. But after hearing what he’s saying now, I realize he needed the free childcare. Plain and simple.
“I don’t care what you do when you’re away from this house. But I don’t want you to get twisted and think I’m okay with it. Your brother is young and impressionable—”
“Afraid he’s going to catch homosexuality, Pops? Is that it?” I rub my hands up and down his arms. “Oh no. You’re gay now.”
It’s petty and immature, but I don’t care. He can say a lot of things about me, but calling me a bad influence because of who I choose to love has pushed me off the edge of sanity.
“I’m not an idiot. I know it’s not contagious, but Eli looks up to you. When he finds out, he might think it’s the cool thing to do. Is this the life you want for him?”
My jaw drops in disbelief. When we silently agreed my private life would remain private, I had no idea how different our views were. I thought he needed time to adjust and come to terms. I didn’t know this entire time, he’d been waiting to drop this bomb when I finally met someone I cared about.
“That’s not how sexuality works. You either are or aren’t. And even if he is, you should be so lucky that he’ll have someone in his life to support him, because clearly he won’t be able to rely on you.”
“You’re selfish and juvenile.”
“No. I’m happy, Pops. More than I’ve been in a long ass time. Don’t you want that for me?” I plead.