“Give it all to me. I want to see you,” I say, squeezing around him intentionally.
“Jesus fuck,” he roars. He doesn’t have to tell me he’s coming, the warmth I feel deep inside and the sudden wet noises from where we’re joined alerts me.
He pulls out, collapses on top of me, and I wrap my arms around him. I’m aware of the mess we’ve made between us, but I don’t care.
“That was incredible,” I say, trailing my fingers up and down his back.
“I’m in love with your ass,” he murmurs, and I smack him.
“Is that all you’re in love with?” I joke before realizing what I said. His head pops off my chest and gives me a wide-eyed look. “That’s not what I meant.”
God, I’m mortified. Despite how often that thought has been popping into my head, I never meant to say it out loud. It’s too soon and there’s still so much I need to deal with in my life before I can give a relationship my full focus.
Doesn’t change a goddamn thing, though. Boaz Dixon showed up at my door at the exact moment I needed someone the most. He gave me his time, his energy, and his heart. I couldn’t ask for more from a partner.
“It’s okay if you did.” He runs a hand through my hair. “Because I am in love with you.”
“You are?”
“Of course I am.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “If you would’ve told me a year ago, I’d be in love with a single dad who happens to be the new doctor at the hospital, I wouldn’t have believed it. You crushed every expectation I had for my life and gave me something I want to deserve. You and Lane are it for me.”
“You mean it?”
“Of course. Beats the hell of living the life of a fuck boy.”
I smack him again. “Glad I could save you from a life of depravity.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t say all that. But I want all that depravity to be with only you. There’s a difference.”
“That’s better.”
“You got nothing to say to me?” he asks, his voice pitching high.
“I love you,” I blurt out.
“Mmm. Like music to my ears.”
“I didn’t think the person I met after my divorce would be the person I want to spend my life with, but here we are.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Definitely not a bad thing. I’m lucky.” I lift my head off the pillow and kiss him. “And messy. Let’s go shower.”
“Deal.”
We shower and change the sheets before climbing back into bed. He wraps his warm, hard body around mine, holding on tight. It doesn’t last long since Lane wakes up for a feeding before I can even close my eyes. But it’s not me who gets out of bed, it’s Bo. I listen over the monitor as he gives her a bottle from the new rocking chair I bought for the nursery and sings her nursery rhymes he’s made up his own lyrics for.
“Hush little baby, don’t you cry, your daddy’s gonna buy you an apple pie. If that apple pie is gross, your daddy’s gonna buy you overnight oats. If those overnight oats are dry, your daddy’s gonna buy you the earth and sky.”
I laugh as his song continues to barely make sense. I should use this time to catch up on sleep, but I’m too engrossed in how irresistibly sexy Bo is with my baby. He burps her, changes her diaper, and somehow manages to get her back to sleep. It’s something I rarely accomplish.
I feel the bed shift when he climbs back in, and I turn to face him.
“You’re amazing. You know that?” Lane chooses that moment to make a noise in her sleep, exposing my eavesdropping.
“You heard everything that went on in there?”
“I did.”
“Well, I guess you now know I’m an amazing singer. I didn’t want to say nothing about it because I knew you might be intimidated,” he says smugly.
“I am. Especially with your songwriting skills. It must be hard to have so much talent and keep it all inside.”
“It is. It is. But we all have a cross to bear.”
I hook a hand around the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss. The happiness that fills me is indescribable. As though I’m standing on top of a mountain, the hurt and pain from my life swimming at the bottom, but I’m too high for it to touch me. All it took was an eight-pound baby and full-grown man.
I know there are storm clouds coming, but in this moment, it’s blue skies, sunshine, and a warm breeze.
Chapter Eight
Boaz
I walk out of the high school gym, confused. Eli had a game tonight, but he wasn’t there. I pull out my phone and dial his cell.
“Hello,” Eli answers his phone.
“Hey, bro. What’s goin’ on? I came to watch you play and Coach said you never showed.”
He sighs loudly. “Pops told me I couldn’t go.”
“Why?” My temper flares. Eli works hard to keep his grades up so he can play. School isn’t easy for him, but basketball is. The only way to keep that kid in check, is to hold the game over his head.
“He was too tired to drive me, and he wouldn’t let me walk.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve picked you up. I still can so you’ll be here for the third quarter.”
“Don’t bother,” he grinds out.
“What do you mean?”
“He won’t let you drive me. Why did you have to bring up your sexuality? You knew how he felt. You fucked everything up. It’s all your fault.” His voice shakes and it stabs me through the heart. He only shows his tough guy persona. It’s rare he shows anyone his emotions.
“We talked about this. I met someone important to me. I shouldn’t have to pretend like he doesn’t exist.”
“You couldn’t wait until I finished school? You’re so selfish.”
“Eli. That’s not fair.”
“You know what’s not fair? That I’m missing the game and won’t be able to play in the next one because I was a no-show tonight. That’s not fair.”
I open my mouth to explain, but the line goes dead.
Fuck.
I jump in my car and drive to my childhood home. It’s a bad idea. I feel it in my gut, but I’m spittin’ mad and I need to make this right. I pull up two minutes later and walk inside.
“No. You’re not welcome here,” Pops shouts, pointing at the door I just came in.
“I only want to talk. Hear me out.”
“There’s nothing you can say I want to hear. Now go before I call Sheriff Bell.”
“And tell him what?” I bite out. “That I came by to talk you out of being an asshole to your youngest son?”
“You’re trespassing. I kicked your ass out of this house.”
I ignore him. I doubt he’ll call the sheriff and if he does, the worst he’ll do is ask me to leave.
“Listen. You can hate me all you want. I don’t give a shit anymore. But that boy in there needs you. You don’t get to be too tired anymore. You made the choice to kick me out, now you have to deal with the consequences.” I point a finger in his direction.