I latch onto his shirt, clutching it tightly, and deepen our kiss, frantic for more. “Why do you say that?” I plead. Just as frenzied, he reaches for the hem of my dress and pushes me up against the desk. “This isn’t goodbye. It’s just med school. Once I leave for college, we’ll be closer. Our parents won’t be able to stop us. We can finally—”
“We can’t.” He nips at my lower lip, feathering wet kisses down my chin. Tiny prickles of desire explode throughout my body as his tongue meets the dip in my neck and he bites at my shoulder. “God, I always knew you would taste sweet. I’ve thought about how sugary sweet your skin would be. Like silk against my tongue.”
“Jake,” I moan, allowing my head to arch back and my eyes to fall closed.
“I shouldn’t be doing this. I should let you go and do what I have to do.”
My fingers disappear into his hair and I tighten my hold, keeping him from pulling away. “Please. Please, don’t stop,” I beg. I may crumble into a million devastated pieces if he does.
“This is not okay. I shouldn’t be doing this. You don’t belong to me—”
“I’ve always belonged to you. Just because the words haven’t been said doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I’ve loved you my whole life, Jake DuPont. Don’t make me start hating you because you stopped.”
His mouth covers mine. “Oh, Willa, if there were words to make you understand, to show you what I feel inside. All these years, I’ve spent so much time wanting and wishing, all while knowing it was wrong. I’ve tried to stay away, but I hate knowing you’re going to be someone else’s.”
My chest constricts. I tug at his hair, try to kiss him harder, steal his breath, but nothing lessens the pain. My body starts to quake in his hold, and he pulls back, worry in his eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Fuck, I shouldn’t have kissed you—”
“You should have done this years ago. I want you with every thread of my being. I want to be the girl on your arm, the one who makes you smile, the one you wake up to day after day. It tears me apart knowing I can’t—but my love is so strong, no matter how this ends, I’d spend eternity loving you from afar.”
A scorching flame of passion lights behind his eyes, and he drops his lips back to mine. A lifetime of pent-up need explodes between us, threatening to burst into flames. He lifts me, placing me on top of the desk, his hands sliding up my bare thighs. “I want you, Willa. I know that makes me a bastard, but God, I want you.”
“You have me. You always have.”
He shakes his head. “But I can’t. It’s fucking wrong. I’m drunk. And what kind of man would I be to take everything I’ve ever wished for then leave? I’d never be able to forgive—”
“It makes you just as desperate as I am. If you don’t want to spare my virtue…well, it’s always been you who takes it in my dreams. My heart…that’s yours too. Please stop acting like this is our ending. This is us beginning. A life we’ve secretly ached for can finally come true.”
“Fuck, Willa.” He devours my lips, and I kiss him back just as fervently, as if we’ve been doing this our entire lives, melting together, our lips, our hands, our souls.
“Are you sure?”
I stare up at him, allowing him a view into the window of my soul. His eyes glass over with the same intensity and he silently confesses what I’ve always wanted to know. He loves me too. I fight back tears at the pain his pending absence will bring but focus on our future—one where we’ll be far from the grasps of our parents’ controlling demands.
For now, I focus on the present—on his touch—his gentle praises and sweet endearments.
“I always have been. Please. Love me like I love you.”
He grabs me by the waist and pulls me close to his chest. A shiver ripples through me as his lips seal over mine. My heartrate accelerates, and I melt into his devastating kiss. With a gentle finger, he brushes my hair away from my shoulder and presses his thumb against the pulse in my neck. “Dammit, Willa, you’re shaking.” He pulls back, his hand cupping my cheek to hold my gaze. “We don’t have to.”
Passion resonates in his steely gaze, magnifying the spark igniting inside me. I can’t bear another second of not being with him. “Please. I love you. I want this.”
He lifts me in his arms and carries me over to the bed we’ve laid on countless times. He gently lays me down, his warm body covering mine. The intensity of his gaze creates an inferno of desire in my belly. Anticipation for what’s to come puts my mind into a frenzy, and I tremble.
“I’ve thought about this moment. About you like this…” His hand drops to my leg, latching a finger under the hem of my dress and sliding it up my thigh. His simple touch causes an unfamiliar wave of sensation to shoot to my core. I rock my head backwards, allowing him to push my dress up and over my head, leaving me bare aside from my underwear and bra. “Jesus, Willa, you’re beautiful.” His mouth dips to the exposed flesh above my breast, his wet mouth spreading kisses up my breastbone. Each touch overwhelms my senses and steals away my worries. The past, the future.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” I murmur as he kisses the corner of my mouth. His fingers work to unclasp my bra. He’s gentle as he discards my panties, and his eyes stop to admire my bare flesh. My breathing hitches when his hands graze down my ribcage, his knee spreading my thighs.
“Tell me if you want me to stop—”
“I won’t,” I rush out. “Please.” My voice shakes, exposing my nerves. I worry he won’t continue. I reach up and capture the back of his neck and demand his mouth return to mine. I become acutely aware of the hardness against my belly as he kisses me back. His hand presses against the apex of my thighs, and a sudden moan breaks our kiss. A seed of desire blooms in my belly, and my eyes widen at the boldness of his touch.
He captures my gaze, allowing me to hold on to the trust that seeps from his eyes as he breaches my entrance with a single finger. I fight to hold his gaze, but with each stroke, I become lost. “Jake,” I moan. My hips begin to move on their own accord, riding his finger. His eyes darken with desire, and his lips fuse to mine. He swallows each moan and pumps into me faster, more aggressively, until my legs begin to quiver as I gasp for air.
“That’s it. Come for me.” My eyes close as blinding pleasure explodes from my core. He rides out my orgasm until suddenly I feel the absence of his finger. I reopen my eyes to find Jake now standing in front of me. He’s working the buttons of his shirt exposing every inch of his tanned skin. Toned chest. Not a flaw to be found. Once he’s naked, he climbs on top of me, his knee pushing my still trembling legs apart. His lips find mine, and he’s slow and gentle as he breaches my entrance. “This is going to hurt, but I promise, I’ll make it feel good.”
I nod, trusting him. I close my eyes and wait for the pain, but he captures my chin. “Open your eyes, Willa.” I do as he asks, and his handsome face steals my breath. “We do this together, okay?” The passion in his eyes gives me strength. I lock my vision onto him as he slides into me. My lips part. A sharpness radiates in my core, but he kisses away my pain until it morphs into pleasure. His slow grunts collide with my whimpered moans as we create a melody of love, desire, and promise. The fullness of him has my body in a state of euphoria. My nails scrape down his back with each thrust, and I can’t seem to get enough. My legs wrap around his lean waist, and I hold on to him, fearing he’ll vanish at any second.