When we’re both done, we collapse in a sweaty tangled heap on the bed, automatically pulling each other close and passing out within seconds of each other.
24
Sawyer
I wake up to Xavier draped around me like a spider monkey, and it puts the biggest smile on my face. Last night was amazing, and I’m kicking myself for not getting pierced sooner, because holy hell. Sex doesn’t get any better than this. Or maybe it’s because I’m not holding anything back now. I opened myself fully to him, and it was a lot more freeing than I realized.
I know I still have a long way to go. Like I know he’s not going to make it easy for me. Nor should he. I deserve to grovel and worship at his feet.
Tightening my arms around him, I close my eyes and press my face into his gorgeous hair, inhaling the fruity scent of whatever shampoo he used last night.
Xavier stirs, blinking sleepy eyes open and yawning. He frowns for a second, looking around until he’s reorientated himself.
“Morning, Bright One.” I press my mouth to his, kissing him softly, pleased when he kisses me back. Our lips break apart a few minutes later, and he stares curiously at me. “What?” I ask.
He pushes down on my chest, forcing my back to the mattress. “Be gone with you, alien freak, and return Sawyer ‘I don’t do morning breath’ Hunt to me.”
A chuckle rumbles from my chest. “Did I really say that?”
He quirks a brow. “On more than one occasion, but I forgave you because you always let me snuggle.”
I yank him down, pressing his face against my chest and wrapping my arms around him. “I love snuggling with you.”
He lifts his chin. “I’m even more convinced now you’ve been the victim of a body invasion.”
“It’s not that hard to understand,” I say, gripping the back of his neck. “I’ve let down my walls. I’m making myself vulnerable for you because you’re worth it.”
And that was clearly the wrong thing to say if the hurt-filled look on his face is any indication. Shit. I’m so bad at this stuff.
He pulls up, swinging his legs out the side of the bed. “Don’t do me any favors, Hunt. I don’t want you to force yourself to be someone you’re not.” He stands, his cock jutting out proudly.
Jumping out of the bed, I stop him from walking off. “This is scary for me, Xavier, but it doesn’t mean I’m being fake with you. I’m more real with you now than I’ve ever been with anyone before.” I clasp his handsome face. “I don’t know how to love because I haven’t grown up with it. I figured out at an early age that my parents’ marriage wasn’t the norm. They didn’t look at one another like Laurena and Travis did, and they sure as fuck didn’t rain love down on me.”
Air whooshes out of my mouth as I let him go, flopping down on the bed. “I’m a fuck up, Bright One.” I pin him with a shaky smile. “I see how Lauder and Anderson are with their women, and letting go like that terrifies me, but I want that with you. I do. I’m cutting myself open and exposing my heart and my fears because it feels right. You and me feels right. It always has. I know I’ve made a mess trying to figure everything out, but I will make it up to you.”
He sinks onto the bed beside me, and I link our hands. “I love you,” I tell him, staring into his eyes. It gets easier to say it each time those words leave my mouth.
“I think you don’t really know what you want. I think what happened at the motel scared you into doing something you’re not sure about. I believe you believe you love me, but it’s a reaction to the car bomb. It’s nostalgia.”
I grind down on my teeth, working hard to contain my anger, because I don’t want to argue with him. “Don’t put words in my mouth. Don’t tell me how I feel. Throw my words back at me if you don’t want to believe them. But don’t you fucking dare tell me I don’t believe them.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” he says, yanking his hand from mine and standing.
It’s challenging to hold on to my anger with his morning wood practically poking my eye out, but his words annoy me. “How can you say that after last night? I know I wasn’t the only one feeling it.”
“Hot sex doesn’t magically solve our problems, Sawyer. And I really don’t think we should be talking about this. We have shit to do like finding that manipulative asshole who’s been lying to me for weeks.”
“Fine, but we are talking about this again.”
Purposely ignoring that, he says, “Grab me something to wear, and I need the tracker scanner” before disappearing into the bathroom.
I grab my bag off the floor and hoist it onto the bed, exhaling heavily when I spot all my neatly folded clothes in a crumpled mess. “For fuck’s sake, Xavier!” I yell. “Did you have to mess everything up?”
“Relax. They’re only clothes,” he shouts back.
I glare at him as he takes a piss with the door open.
“It’s like Lauder two-point-oh,” I mutter to myself as I pull out clean boxers, a plain white shirt, and a pair of dark jeans. Everything will be a little big on him, but it’ll have to do.
The shower turns on as I dump the contents of my bag on the bed and fold everything neatly before putting them back in. I keep the digital device out, leaving it on the bedside table for Xavier.
He reappears a minute later, completely naked and dripping water all over the carpet. He deposits his smoky clothes on the floor and returns to the bathroom, returning a second later, still soaked. Running a towel back and forth across his back, he stares at the pile of clothes I left on the bed like they’ve personally insulted him.
I narrow my eyes to slits. “Is there something wrong with those clothes?”
“Nothing a splash of color and a few strategically placed rips wouldn’t fix.”
I roll my eyes as I stand, grabbing my bag to take into the bathroom with me. I don’t trust Xavier not to mess with it again, just to rile me up. “They are a loan.” I prod him in the chest. “Do not alter my clothes.”
“Relax. I’m just yanking your chain,” he says, rubbing the towel in and around his crotch.
My eyes greedily follow the motion as lust stirs in my loins.
“Stop looking at me like that. I’m not fucking you again.”
“Did I ask you to?” I walk off, slamming the door shut, his laughter following me in. At least I distracted him from destructive thoughts.
I emerge from the bathroom fully dressed twenty minutes later to sounds of Anderson and Lauder talking with Xavier in the other room.
“What’s up?” I ask, dropping my bag on the floor as I snatch the room service menu from the coffee table.
“Your dick, it seems.” Lauder grins like a loon. “Have Mommy and Daddy kissed and made up?”
“Fuck off,” I snipe, dropping onto the couch beside Anderson.
“You’re not going to believe this,” Xavier says, pacing the room as he angrily swipes buttons on his cell. “The asshole was tracking me.” He pulls a business card from his wallet and throws it across the room at me. “That sneaky fuck had a tracker embedded in the business card he gave me. I had it in my wallet, and I never thought to scan it for bugs.”