We meet up at Dakota and Reagan’s apartment. They’ve bought enough wine and mixed drinks to keep the whole group of us drunk for a week, and Dakota has dance music pumping in their living room.
“We have sparkling water, Gatorade, and Diet Coke,” Reagan says as I enter the kitchen to survey the drink options.
“Thank you.”
She shakes her ass as she walks away, cup in hand. “Meet you on the dance floor.”
For almost an hour that’s exactly where we stay. We have a dance party in the middle of their living room, belting out every lyric and jumping around. It feels good to get lost in the music and the moment with my friends.
We move outside to take a break. Josie sits beside me and rests her head on my shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re graduating and leaving me all alone.”
“Hey!” Olivia nudges her from the other side.
“We should throw a party to celebrate,” Josie says, sitting tall. “We could do it at Kate’s house.”
“You guys don’t need to do that. This is perfect. Just my girls.”
“We’ll be there too,” she says. “And maybe some hockey boys.”
“They tend to follow these two around,” Dakota says and points to Ginny and Reagan.
“Please??” Josie asks. “It’ll be so fun. Let us send you off with a proper goodbye.” She kisses the air.
I smile. “Sure. That sounds great. Thank you.”
But my chest aches when I realize the only hockey boy I want won’t be there.
The next morning, I wake up early. My body refuses to accept that I no longer need to be up and at practice in the mornings. So, I get dressed and head there anyway.
I warm up and then fall into my old routine. It’s weird to think that there will be no more new programs. I’m not sad about giving up competing or shows. I could do both of those things if I really wanted. And I know I’ll still skate. I’ll make time for it because I love it. But this… just being on the ice with nowhere else to be. I will miss it being such a big part of my daily routine.
The lights are still dimmed and I’m the only person here. With both the hockey teams and our season being done, I can finally have a little bit of that solitude on the ice I’ve been wanting all semester long.
Admittedly, it isn’t as great as I thought it would be. I was used to keeping people at arm’s length before Rhett. I used a lot of things as an excuse. Needing to skate, my heart condition, and probably a million other things, but he changed me. I don’t think I can ever go back to believing that I’m better off on my own.
I’m strong enough to skate, to love, to give someone all of my heart—every imperfect piece. I just hope that when he comes out on the other side of this, he can accept it and accept me.
Every imperfect piece.
35
Rhett
It’s quiet at the rink. Summer camps haven’t started, and few people come in before late afternoon when school is done for the day.
“Probably feels small after all the big arenas you’ve been skating in the past four years.” My mom appears at the gate.
“Still my favorite.” I stop in front of her. “Anything you need me to do? I could help with one of the classes later?”
“We’ve got it covered.”
“I know you do, but I’m here, I might as well help.”
“You’re not on the payroll for another month.”
“Mom, come on. Let me help. I heard you and dad complaining about the coach for Ryder’s class. I can jump in there.”
“I know that you’re eager to be useful while you’re here, but that’s not why you came, and I don’t want to have to replace you if you decide to go back. If you want to help today, fine. But just for today.”
“I’m not going to up and leave you high and dry. I love this place.”
“And it will be here in a month or two when you’re ready.”
It’s exasperating not having a purpose to the day. For years it’s been school or hockey, and now I wake up each day, do whatever classwork I need to finish and submit so I can still graduate, and then come to the rink. I’m here when it opens and usually when it closes, but my mom has been adamant that I take this time for myself.
Officially, my role will be teaching private hockey lessons and working the camps. I’m excited to start. I have all sorts of plans for expanding the rink and making it better, but she’s probably right. I used Sienna as a crutch in Valley and here I’m doing the same trying to keep so busy I don’t have to really deal with it. I’ve been home for almost two weeks and still I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
“Have you gone to see Cory and Cam yet?”
I hang my head and give it a shake. The look she gives me says more than her words ever could.
“Oh, shoot is that the time?” She glances over my head to the clock on the wall. “The repair guy still hasn’t shown up and I have to get your brother in ten minutes.”
“I’ll get him.”
She gives me that look again.
“Fine, then at least let me call the repair guy, and I will call Cory tomorrow. I promise.”
She’s out of choices and she knows it. “Invite them to dinner this week.”
“Mom, you don’t have to—”
“It’s going to be hard. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.” She straightens. “That locker room door has to be fixed today. We have a peewee hockey game here tomorrow morning and I need a working door. If they try to put you off, call someone else.”
“I will manage. Go.”
I give up after I get three answering services and one person who says they can do it, but can’t get out until the week after next. Digging through the maintenance closet, I find tools and head off to the boy’s locker room.
The mammoth solid wood door is heavy as fuck. I’m sweating and swearing as I try to remove it from the hinges.
“Anyone here?” someone calls from the front doors.
“Hang a right,” I call and rest the door against the wall, thankful the repair guy finally decided to show his ass up. It’s probably going to take two of us to get it back on.
I wipe my hands on a rag as he steps into view. His jeans are far too clean to be the repair guy and there’s no toolbox in sight.
“Rhett?” He juts his chin.
“Yeah. Who are you?”
He grins. A cocky smirk that flickers recognition in my brain. “Elias.”
“To what do I owe the pleasure? Wait, does Sienna know you’re here? She’ll be so pissed I met you before she did.”
“No, she doesn’t know, but actually I met our girl last week.”
“Really?” I smile, picturing Sienna’s face meeting her best friend after all this time.
He nods. I get the sense he’s not going to give me more details unless I pry.
“How is she?”
“Oh no. You won’t get any info out of me.”
I chuckle. “Fair enough. Wanna tell me why you’re here then?”
“In time, Robbie.”