“Yes.” Her voice was muffled but composed. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You look upset.”
“I am a little. But it’s not a big deal.”
“It doesn’t have to be a big deal.” His arms were still around her, and his voice was thick and soft. “I heard about Scott and Amber. It’s okay if that’s what’s bothering you. You don’t have to hide it from me.”
She pulled away quickly so she could meet his eyes. “It’s not that, Keith. I promise it’s not that.”
“Okay. I’m just saying I think it’s natural to feel weird about it when your ex gets married again.”
“Yeah. It probably is. And it does feel weird, but not for the obvious reasons. It’s just that...” She took a ragged breath as she found the right words. “It makes me feel bad. About myself. That I loved him. That I wanted him. That I was as happy as Amber is now. When I can see so clearly now that he’s not worthy of that love. It makes me feel so stupid, and I hate feeling that way. I don’t know why I can’t shake it off.”
His face relaxed. “I think that’s natural too. That kind of thing lingers. I still get those full-body cringes when I think of stupid things I did when I was younger.”
She frowned, distracted from her own worries by this comment. “What stupid things? You never did anything stupid.”
“Oh yes, I did. More stupid things than I care to think about.”
“Like what?”
He shifted from foot to foot and didn’t meet her eyes, proof that he was genuinely embarrassed by what he was about to tell her. “I can think of several women I didn’t do right by when I was younger. I led them on and then really hurt them. I didn’t do it on purpose. I was just taking the easy way out. I didn’t want a confrontation, so I just stopped calling them.” He winced. “I know I hurt a few of them, and I hate that I was so cowardly and heartless.”
“You were never heartless,” she whispered, reaching up to hold on to one of his lapels. “You wouldn’t feel so bad about it now if you were heartless.”
“Maybe so. But I should have done better. I hate that I was one of those guys.”
“If that’s the worst of what you’ve done, you’ve done pretty good for yourself.”
He shook his head and smiled as he finally met her eyes again. “Maybe. But I still hate that I was like that. Which means I can kind of understand what you’re feeling. But I can say the same thing. If your biggest regret is loving someone who didn’t deserve it, you’re doing pretty good for yourself too.”
She laughed and leaned her head against his shoulder for a few seconds. “I guess so. It doesn’t make that full-body cringe any easier to deal with.”
“I know. But everyone feels that way about something unless they’re a sociopath. Everyone is stupid. Everyone makes mistakes. You don’t have to beat yourself up for not being perfect.”
She leaned forward to kiss him—acting on instinct—before she realized that they were in a hallway off the reception room and anyone might see them. Then she decided she didn’t care.
She wanted to kiss him, so she did.
He kissed her back, but they both pulled away after a minute.
“Come on,” he said, taking her hand. “You deserve to have some fun. Let’s get a little bit buzzed.”
“You know it only takes me two glasses to get that way.”
“Then you can have two glasses. Or more if you want.”
“I don’t want to be a bad bridesmaid and get drunk at Amanda’s wedding. I also don’t want to embarrass myself.”
“I won’t let you embarrass yourself. I’ll make sure you don’t go too far. But you can let down your guard occasionally and have some fun.” He gave her the most appealing little smile. “Don’t you want to?”
She told him the truth. “Yes. I kind of do.”
“Then let’s do it. You can trust me.”
She always had, and she trusted him now more than ever. “Okay. Let’s get buzzed.”
KEITH KNEW FROM EXPERIENCE that Serena wasn’t lying about her low tolerance for alcohol. It only took a couple of glasses for her to be in the condition it would take him at least four to get to. So he’d meant what he told her about making sure she didn’t go too far.
After two glasses of the excellent champagne, Serena was flying high, giggling, and chattering and dancing uninhibitedly to the music. He was happy to see her acting so free, but he made sure she drank water for the next hour before she had any more champagne.
She wanted more champagne after the bride and groom cut the cake, and by that point she’d come down enough that he didn’t think it would do any harm. So she had a couple more glasses and a really good time. Eventually, after the bride and groom had left for their honeymoon and the reception was starting to clear out, Serena was dancing a slow dance with him, her arms wrapped tightly around him, her soft body pressed against his.
He loved the feel of it. Loved that she was so touchy right now. Loved that she didn’t seem to care if other people were noticing they’d become more than friends.
And he was also hoping that this wasn’t just the result of the alcohol and she’d pull back or change her mind tomorrow.
He didn’t mind waiting for her. At all. But no matter how well things were going, part of him was still worried that a thread would snap at any moment and their whole relationship might tumble into ruin.
Later, the room had mostly emptied out, and Serena was sitting beside him, almost asleep with her head against his shoulder. Taylor, one of the other bridesmaids who’d gone to school with them, came over to pick up her wrap, which was on a chair next to him.
“You still awake there, Serena?” she asked, peering down at her.
“Yes, I’m awake,” Serena replied with a huff. “I’m just taking a break so I can dance some more.”
Taylor chuckled dryly. “I think the fun is mostly over here. I’m heading home.”
“Oh.” Serena blinked as she straightened up. “Did I miss all the fun?”
“No. You participated in all the fun. You were the life of the party. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Well, I did.” Serena looked fuzzily between Taylor and Keith. “So I did a good job having fun?”
Keith couldn’t help but laugh as he squeezed her in a one-arm hug. “You did a great job having fun. We can go home anytime you’re ready.”
“I’m ready now. I don’t think I’ve got much more fun in me.” She wobbled a little as she stood up, so Keith slid his arm around her waist to support her.
Taylor eyed them skeptically. “Still just friends?”
Keith had no idea what Serena would want the answer to be, so he waited for her to respond.
She leaned against Keith and said, “We’re figuring things out.”
That was as good an answer as he could hope for.
SERENA FELL ASLEEP on the drive home, and she was groggy and fuzzy as he half carried her upstairs. He unlocked her apartment with her key and then led her to her bedroom.