My hand slid into my panties and my finger rolled over my clit. I gasped at how ready I was for him. He swore under his breath and his arms flexed, his hands digging into the curves of her hips.
Vivica rode her own hand now and moaned on his dick like she loved the feel of him. He thrusted slow still though, like he was building up with me.
I rolled my hips just as she spread her legs and stuck two of her own fingers into her folds. She was building to climax, like me, with me, and both of us for him.
Cole’s gaze inched up to my tits and he jerked his head. “Let me see.”
As I lifted my shirt, he lifted his hand to grab her breast. “Does it feel good, my hands here?”
It was a hidden command, and I placed my hand right where his were on her to do the same to my own. I rolled a nipple when he rolled hers and moaned when she moaned too.
So in sync and so close to the edge, I rode my hand harder, wanting to reach the high I hadn’t in so long.
His pace picked up, and he thrusted into her over and over again while he watched me watching him. We panted together, touched together, felt together even if she was between us.
At about the same time the other woman arched her back and moaned his name, I bit down on my lip and clenched around my fingers as I saw fireworks and stars.
Cole pumped two more times, and his pupils dilated while his muscles rippled, tensing as he reached his own high. “Fuck me, Ladybug,” he rumbled.
Silence stretched as we all scrambled back to reality. In a dark room of the bar’s office, I’d just watched a man I could admit I had a crush on get sucked off by a beautiful woman.
I’d enjoyed it. I’d reveled in it. I’d lost myself in it.
I jumped up. “I need to get back to work.”
The woman scooted off the table as she wiped her mouth and grabbed her dress. She shrugged, what I did had no bearing on her.
“We need to talk, woman.” Cole pointed to me as he readjusted himself and zipped back up his jeans.
“Actually”—the sultry Vivica held up a finger and looked pointedly at Cole—“we need to talk.”
I backed away toward the door and cleared my throat. “Um … I don’t know if … I really think … Well, thank you, both. See you later.”
I ran out of the office, grabbed all my belongings from the break room, and headed out to the bar where the bouncers were starting to clear out customers. “Drake, I gotta head home early.”
“Cole won’t want you walking alone, if that’s your plan again,” he said while rearranging liquor bottles on the shelves.
I rolled my eyes. “I live a block away.” My gaze ping-ponged around, trying to find a quick solution. Red was talking to a couple of friends that were still at a booth, and Peter scribbled away at the host’s podium.
“Peter can walk you. He’s no help on the floor after-hours anyway.” Drake raised his voice, “Pete, Zoey’s checking out. Walk her to her place, huh?”
“Sure thing, girl. Where you live?”
I motioned north of the building. “Just a block that way.”
I made quick work of getting out of there with Peter, and once he’d made sure I was closing my apartment door behind me, he left.
Twenty minutes later, my phone dinged.
Cole: You had Peter walk you home. Couldn’t wait for me?
Me: Wait for what?
Cole: I said we had to talk.
Me: Nothing to talk about really. There’s no reason to dwell.
Cole: I’ll be doing more than just dwelling. I’m going to be thinking about the way you can hypnotize a man just by watching him for a long time, Ladybug.
I collapsed on my couch, and Mr. Tabby jumped up to meow in my face. “Right. Sorry, buddy! Let’s get you fed.”
I focused on my normal nighttime routine without texting him back, but my phone sat in the middle of the coffee table like a silent red siren, shining so bright it couldn’t be ignored.
Should I tell him he was just as hypnotizing? That I wanted him more than I’d wanted any man for a long time?
I’d already admitted to not being ready. And then I’d went and watched him while I fingered myself.
Jesus. I face-palmed in the shower as I thought about it.
What had gotten into me?
As I scrubbed my body down and then got out and toweled off, I stared at myself in the mirror.
Two years of feeling ashamed of my actions with a man I didn’t want to touch, let alone make out with and let feel me up. I’d done that for my mother and had felt dirty ever since.
I’d tried going out a couple of times, tried dating to erase the memory. Yet, that memory had teeth that bite and claws that dug in.
Until tonight.
I gripped the tiled countertop and stared at my makeup-free face. No marks or scars were on it. I looked unmarred.
I’d told myself for a very long time that was the case—that what happened in the basement of Sun Village wasn’t going to define me. It should have made me smart enough to focus on the important things.
Instead, I’d taken on too much responsibility and hid my wants and desires. I wanted to be a part of Heathen’s, I wanted to have fun at school, and I wanted to have a guy like Cole.
I rubbed on lotion over my skin and pulled on some pajamas before I grabbed my phone from the table.
Me: Instead of that, maybe we should go to lunch or have coffee?
Cole: Both.
Me: Don’t get greedy.
Cole: I’ve been greedy since the moment I met you. What time can I pick you up tomorrow morning?
Me: I’ll just meet you at the coffee shop across the street from Heathen’s at 9.
Cole: I’ll be at your place at 8:30. Mr. Tabby misses me.
Me: He really doesn’t.
Cole: Bastard wants you all to himself.
Me: I think he’s just territorial of the apartment.
Cole: Or of you. I would be too. I am. Is there a color that represents possessiveness?
Me: Green.
Cole: Hmmmm. I’ll see you tomorrow. Dream of me.
I did just that.
8
Cole
She sipped coffee quietly and blushed every time she looked over her cup at me.
I had to adjust my pants thinking about what she might be picturing. My Ladybug had me all fucked up, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing.
I’d touched another woman the night before but only thought of her. It wasn’t the norm for me. I’d told Vivica it wouldn’t happen again, that she wasn’t the one I was interested in. I’d learned long ago that I didn’t want anyone’s pain on my shoulders. Guilt weighed heavily on a person’s soul and dragged down who they were. I wasn’t prepared to do that to anyone ever again.
“This is our first official date,” I announced, “whether you like it or not.”
“I’m not ready to date anyone.”
“You’re ready to date me if you’re ready to watch me fuck another woman, Bug.” I took a drink of my black coffee as she held her cup up like a barrier between us. As if she could hide behind it when she’d never really needed to hide from me in the first place. “I’m here, Zoey. I want this. You and me, whatever it is. We shouldn’t let it wash away before giving it a shot.”