I glanced at him as he put the phone down on my desk on speakerphone.
“Hey, Julian. It’s Uncle Gregg.”
“What’s going on?”
“I just got off the phone with your aunt Lori. She’s with your mom, and she had a fall. She passed out, and they took her by ambulance to the hospital.”
“What?” I gasped, jumping to my feet.
“I wanted to let you know. If you and Hollin want to get to the hospital, we’ll meet you there,” he said. “I’m going to call your brother next.”
“I’ll be there.”
He told us the hospital, and then Hollin and I raced for the parking lot. We hopped in his truck and peeled out. I shot off a text to Alejandra to let her know why we’d left. Gregg was contacting Jordan, so all I had to do was worry as we drove across town to the hospital.
My mom had looked fragile for weeks. I had assumed it was the chemo. That she was going to recover like normal. I’d been so embroiled in my own issues that I hadn’t had time for her like I had the last time we did this. Then we’d told her about Dad. Fuck, of course she was going to take it hard. She’d put on a show for me and Jor.
Hollin didn’t try to reassure me on the way. He knew what could happen. What I had to lose.
So, he parked in the visitor lot, and we dashed inside. We met Jordan in the lobby. He’d been a lot closer, working at Wright Construction downtown.
“You made it,” Jordan said with relief.
“Have you heard anything?” I asked.
“Just got here. Guess we’ll find out together.” Jordan looked grim. “I texted Annie to see if she’d meet us. I’d feel better, having her assessment.”
We passed through the double doors and then found Mom’s room. The door was slightly ajar when we knocked. Aunt Lori opened the door with a sad smile.
“Hey, guys,” she said, brushing back her short bleached-blonde hair.
“How’s she doing?” I asked.
“She’s stable, but they’re monitoring her. Why don’t you go in and see her?”
I pushed past her without a second thought and found my mom lying in a bed, hooked up to beeping equipment, and looking as thin and rundown as I’d ever seen her.
“Mom.”
“Julian,” she said with a smile. “Did Lori worry you enough to come by?”
Jordan appeared in the door, too.
“Both of my boys.”
“Hey, Mom. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” she said. She even laughed. “It’s all a big misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding? You passed out and came to in a hospital.”
“Lori overreacted. I don’t need to be in here.”
I frowned, and Jordan exchanged a look with me. I didn’t believe her. She didn’t look fine. She looked worse than when we’d seen her on Sunday. That was only a couple days ago, and she’d taken a downturn.
“Is this because of Dad?” I asked the question I hadn’t wanted to.
“What? No. Your father is…no longer my concern.”
“He said he was trying to reconcile with you.”
She laughed. “Is that what he said? What a fiction. No, he apologized and asked me about the cancer. He was polite but nothing more. It’s clear he’s moved on. And you know what? I finally have, too.”
Jordan and I both looked at her in shock. Our mom had loved our dad far longer than she should have. She had loved him still, even when she divorced him and moved away and started a new life. To have moved on was a huge thing for her.
“I still love him, but I’m not in love with him,” she said to our shocked faces. “It’s for the better. Maybe I can start dating again.”
I groaned, and Jordan looked green.
“Not to interrupt,” Annie said, entering, “but that sounds like a good idea to me.”
“Oh, Annie,” Mom said. She was beaming. She loved Annie. “Jordan didn’t pull you from the ER, did he?”
“He did, but that’s okay.”
“Are you going to let me out of here?”
Annie pulled her chart up on an iPad and laughed. “I think we’ll listen to whatever the oncologist said. It looks like your vitals are still not where he wants them to be. He said to keep you overnight.”
“I know. But I don’t think it’s necessary.”
Annie smiled a careful, doctoral smile. “Well, the doctor says it’s necessary. So, here we are.”
My mom rolled her eyes. “All right. Fine. I’m here already. What’s one night?”
Annie kissed Jordan. “I should really get back though. They’re going to need me the minute they realize I’m gone.”
“Okay, babe. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she said and then headed out the door.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, dashing after Annie. “Hey, Annie!”
She sighed and turned to face me. “How can I help you, Julian?”
I ran a hand back through my hair. “Could you…tell Jennifer about this?”
She furrowed her brow. “Is your phone still not operational?”
“No. It works. She just won’t respond to me.”
“And you don’t deserve that?”
I winced. “Uh, I do, but I just…I want her to know. I’m not asking for more…yet.”
“You Wright men,” she said with a huff.
“Please, Annie. I fucked up, but I want to fix things. You of all people should understand.”
She wavered for a second and then nodded. “Fine, Julian. But she doesn’t owe you anything.”
“Of course.”
She got out her phone and texted. “There.”
“Thanks, Annie.”
She shook her head. A small smile came to her lips. “Good luck.”
Then she disappeared. And I needed every ounce of that luck if I was going to fix this with Jen.
41
Jennifer
“Hi, I’m here to see Helena Wright,” I said to the nurses’ desk. “Can I be buzzed through?”
“Sure thing, honey,” the nurse said.
The buzzer went off, and I yanked the door open.
“Thanks,” I threw out as I rushed forward.
Annie’s text had sent me into a frenzy. I hadn’t been responding to Julian’s messages. I wanted to, but I needed to decide what I was going to do about it all. He’d said he was sorry and that he wanted to fix things. But saying those things were not actions. And I didn’t know how to reconcile what he’d done with what I wanted from him. Not to mention, plucking up the courage that Chester’d had with our mom.
Anxiety was a part of who I was. It wasn’t who I was, but it was a defining point of my person. Did I risk Julian seeing me differently by divulging that? Did I risk everything by being my real self?
All I knew was that when I’d found out his mom was in the hospital, I had to get to him. I had to get to him right now. I was mad at him, but I wasn’t callous.
I stopped in front of the door for Helena’s room. My hand rose, but I didn’t knock. I was half-worried that I would be interrupting and half-worried that I would have no idea what to say. Welcome back, anxiety.