It’s possible Rick will kill me tonight. I don’t intend to let him have an easy victory, however. He’ll have to do it with his eyes open.
He’s left me some time to set up my office.
He’s left me some time to sit in my chair by the fire.
He’s left me some time to pray.
I wasted it, the day Ronan came. I was too consumed with getting all the staff out of the house. Too consumed with the Constantine girl I’d sent away. By the time I started, by the time he was standing in my office, my thoughts were too disorganized to do anything but ask for a swift end to the pain. The pain in my back, yes. But more than that, the pain of tearing the new green shoot of what I had with Haley out of the ground and throwing it into the fire.
I wanted more time with her. I knew I’d never get it. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Make it fast, make it fast, make it fast. Ronan wouldn’t shut the fuck up. He was squeamish about shooting me mid-prayer. I dragged it out to spite him. And I dragged it out because my mind’s eye had caught on Haley like the image of the cross. It was her I asked for forgiveness. Her I asked for absolution. It was no act of contrition. It was not perfect. But in the end, all I could think of was her name. Haley, Haley, Haley.
God has a sick sense of humor. He answered my prayer. I got more time with Haley. Enough time to scare her. To scar her.
Forgive me.
A tap on the window interrupts my final request.
A little bird perches at the sill. Tap, tap, tap. I go over and put my finger to the glass. “It’s the middle of the night,” I tell it. “Go back to your nest.”
It taps again.
“It’s not going to be pretty,” I warn. I don’t know what the fuck it’s doing here. It’s dark, with blustering snow in the courtyard. The bird ruffles its wings and settles into the corner.
A loud voice echoes across the foyer. Gerard, letting Rick in. His footsteps move past the door. The firelight doesn’t reach him.
Another shape is framed by the doorway a moment later. Shoulders rising and falling. He’s breathing hard.
“If you wanted a meeting with me, all you had to do was call.”
“I don’t want a meeting with you.” Rick steps into the flickering orange light. “I want a life.”
“You have a life, pathetic as it is.”
“Not after tonight.”
I trace my knife, flat on my desk, with a fingertip. “I understand she promised you Haley.”
His eyes flare. “Not just Haley. A big, Constantine wedding. I’ll finally have a place in the family. I’ll finally fucking belong somewhere.” Rick catches himself. Pulls back. He’s not accustomed to terse expressions. The scowl he puts on would be laughable if it weren’t so fucking sad. He sees the Constantines as a shining city on a hill, but he’ll never find safety there. Never find peace. “All I have to do is kill you. All I have to do is make sure you never hurt her again.”
“Then let’s not waste any more time.”
Rick hesitates for a single heartbeat, and then he rushes me.
The man isn’t a fighter. He wasn’t born for it, wasn’t bred for it, but he’s desperate for this reward Caroline’s dangled in front of him. He’s desperate to be the hero. Giving in to his desperation is his biggest mistake.
He could have shot me from the door, but a shooting in cold blood doesn’t fit the narrative. A fistfight does.
I might as well give it to him.
Rick tackles me with the zeal of a convert. The only thing I didn’t account for was how bad the pain had gotten. How much the headache had affected my balance. I find it too late, after we’re already on the floor. I get the first punch in. Rick lands one on my ribs. Levering him off the floor takes more energy than I would have thought. The chair by the fire goes over.
Everything hurts.
Not because of Rick, though the wild hits he manages to land don’t help. It’s possible this is additional penance for when I kill him.
A glass vase on a corner table tips off and shatters. I’ve lost a minute. I don’t remember getting to this corner of the room. But the sound of that breaking glass snaps me out of this purgatory. I promised I’d kill him if he touched Haley, and he did. There will be no more mercy now. I want him to feel the knife break his skin. I want him to feel it spilling his blood. It’s not far to my desk. I’ll take him there. God help me.
Fear flashes into Rick’s eyes. Then he’s out of time.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Haley
The heater in my brother’s car is broken. It blows winter air into my face. I’ve never cared less that this car can’t protect me from the snow. All I care about is that it gets me back to Leo.
I’m nothing but heartbeat and panic. No skin, no bones. Just a thundering muscle howling his name.
Thank God for this car. Thank God for my brother, who brought it to the hospital so I’d have a way to get home. I’ll never be the kind of Constantine who has a new car and a uniformed driver. I will never, ever be that kind of Constantine. But the life I had was enough. It got me to Leo, and it’ll get me to him again.
Please. Let me get to him in time.
I didn’t expect to see Eva’s name on my caller ID. I didn’t expect her to sound breathless with fear when I answered the phone. She’s the capable older sister, like Petra. She’s the one who knows what to do.
“I’m trying to get there.” Her voice shook so badly it was hard to understand her. “I’m not going to get there in time. You have to stop him.”
I left my dad sleeping in his hospital bed and went into the hall. “Eva, who? Where?”
“Leo.” The story tumbled out of her in a frantic rush I only half understood. The police. Constantines pressing charges. A raid on his house. “Caroline sent Rick to his house. He’s going to kill him.”
I dug Cash’s keys from my purse and ran for the car. No coat. Just the jangling keys and Eva’s voice in my ear. “I’ll talk Rick out of it. He’ll listen to me.”
“No. No. Leo will murder Rick. He’s already made up his mind, and I can’t get there. You’re the only one. Haley, you have to stop him.”
My hands are freezing. Teeth chattering. There’s no heat. But I wouldn’t warm up even with it on full blast.
I know why Eva’s so afraid. I know what it means if Leo takes the bait and kills Rick. It means prison, and more than that, it’s proof the rumors about him are true. Caroline will get to hide behind her flawless image forever, and Leo will go down in history as a monster. It won’t matter that Caroline kidnapped me, or that she ordered Rick to rape me, or that she tried to force me into a marriage I never wanted.
It doesn’t matter that Leo sent me away. It doesn’t matter that he said we were finished. I love him too much to let this happen to him.
I just have to get there in time.
The car door sticks when I arrive at Leo’s gate and I have to force it open to punch the code in. He hasn’t changed it. The big gates slide open. No guards wait on the other side. My stomach sinks. Please, let this not mean I’m too late.
I take the rest of the driveway too fast and stop at the bottom of the wide steps leading up to his door. Leo’s castle rises into the night, the windows glowing softly, like everyone is about to go to sleep. A gust of wind cuts through my clothes and my hair as I wrench the front door open. It swings shut behind me and I hold my breath, my lungs screaming. I need to hear if he’s dying. I need to hear if he’s alive.