Apparently reading my mind, she continued. “I’m sorry for what I said on Saturday. I know you were concerned about my safety, and you were, you know, freaking out a little. I’m sorry I said that you have no say in what I do. That’s not true. You have a say, just like I have a say in your life.”
“Do you want a say in my life?”
“Yes!” She used her arms around my body to give me a shake. “In fact, I demand it. I want a say.”
I unsuccessfully fought a smile. “You sure?” This was exactly what I’d wanted her to say. The relief I felt in this moment was immeasurable.
She grinned. “Absolutely.”
I let my answering grin free, lowering my head to hers, wanting a kiss.
She stopped me, tilting her head to the side. “Wait. First, I need to say something else. Once we start kissing, you know we’re not going to be able to stop.”
My eyes on her lips, my mind already halfway down that road. I hoped, whatever it was she needed to say, it wouldn’t take long. I was hungry.
Letting me go, Rae took a step back and twisted her fingers. “There’s two things we need to discuss, and they can’t wait.”
“Okay.” My gaze trailed down her body for the first time. She wore that long orange dress I liked. I wondered what color her underwear was, she always wore a matching set. I looked to her shoulder, the strap of her bra was white.
“Jackson! Ahhh! Stop.” She backed up, walking around the big kitchen island and placing it between us. “You have to stop looking at me like that or I’ll never say this and then it will fester.”
I nodded obediently, lifting my eyes to the ceiling. “Okay.”
“You can look at me.”
“Not yet. I need a minute.”
She laughed, the sound full of giddy pleasure. “Fine. Then just listen. Here goes . . .” She paused, like she was gathering her thoughts, then said, “I know you were scared for me on Saturday, and I understand why, and I’m not upset about it. But you have to understand that I don’t want to go back to living in a fortress.”
I looked at her then, her words chasing away enough of my lust and replacing it with apprehension. “Rae, you need to be safe.”
“And I will be. You and I, together, we’ll figure it out. But I’m not living behind two gates with guard dogs, separate from everyone. I hate living that way. It makes me feel isolated and alone. I need community, I need people.”
Frowning, I absorbed this information, but I didn’t like it.
“I need community so much that I tried to build it with staff, surrounding myself with employees I paid instead of friendships. That’s not going to happen in Green Valley. My house here will be safe, but it’s not going to be a prison.”
“Wait, your house here?”
She nodded. “Yes. I’m moving here.”
I shook my head, rejecting this statement with every fiber of my being. “Rae.”
“It’s good. It’s right for me.”
Don’t push, Jackson.
But I had to push. I had to push back against this. I couldn’t just let her give up her entire career, all her dreams. “No, Rae. I can’t let you do that.”
She opened her mouth to argue, so I walked around the counter and grabbed her hands. “Please, just listen. I know your decisions are your own, and I respect that. But if I get any say in this, I absolutely do not agree. You can’t make movies in Green Valley.”
“Yes, I can—”
“The film industry is in Hollywood, in California. I can do my job anywhere, and I’ve already talked to my father.”
“You can—what? What are you talking about?”
I stole a quick kiss before telling her my plan. “I’ve already started looking into what it would take to be a deputy with LA County, and I’ve already discussed it with my father. He knows I’ll be moving when you go.”
“Jackson!” She looked shocked, which I’d expected. But I didn’t expect her to look horrified. “Please tell me you didn’t do that.”
“I did.”
“That was—no.” She pulled her hands from mine, gripping her forehead. “No, that’s never going to happen. I’m never going to take you away from here. I can’t even fathom it. This is where you belong, and not just because your family is here. What about running for sheriff? People here need you.”
“But what about—”
Now she grabbed my hands, silencing me. “Listen, just listen for a minute, and stop trying to Gift of the Magi me, okay?”
I tried to place the reference, but before I could, she said, “Sienna and I are starting our own production company, based here, in Green Valley. She’s already started the process, and she asked me to sign on as a partner. I want to do it. No! I need to do it. I need this. I need to get out of Hollywood. I love California, I do, but I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to be part of something real. I’m ready to take control of my career in a way that’s meaningful, not chasing publicity or parts that might make me competitive but ultimately do nothing to fulfill me as an actor.”
Trying to keep up, a million arguments came and went from my mind. But as I looked at her—really looked at her—I saw she was serious. She believed she needed this.
“This is what I want,” she said, shifting her weight from foot to foot, her eyes darting between mine. “And I know some people might think it’s a risk, but I don’t. I believe in Sienna, and I believe in me, and I think—”
I scooped her into my arms, unable to think past my excitement for her. “It’s going to be so great,” I said, spinning her around, so proud, so happy. “You’re going to knock their socks off and take over the world.”
Rae’s arms came around my neck and she held on, laughing, but she also sniffled. “We’ll, let’s get a few projects rolling first.”
The wobbly quality to her voice made me set her down, and I stole another kiss—this one slower, longer, savoring—before I pulled away so I could see her eyes. They were glassy with emotion.
“Hey. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m great. I’m so great.” She lifted a hand and then dropped it, making a smacking sound against her thigh. “Everything is wonderful. You’re wonderful, this thing with Sienna is wonderful—she’s named it Operation Latina Domination, but I have no idea what we’ll name the company—and the chocolate cake I ate today was wonderful. I’m just—”
She pressed her lips together, but she couldn’t stop the shaking of her chin or the tear that rolled down her cheek.
“What? What is it?”
“I’m happy!” she said, the words bursting out of her. “I’m so happy.”
“And you’re afraid it won’t last?” I stepped closer, trying to understand.
“No.” Another tear followed the path of the first even though she wore a wide smile. “That’s just it. I know it’ll last. I know Sienna and I are going to be successful. I know I’ll love living here. I know we—you and me—are going to last. And it feels overwhelming to know I’m at the very beginning of all this happiness.”