My heart twisted. “What do you mean? You saw him? Did he say anything?”
“He said hello like always, asked how our evening had been—’cause he’s the fucking politeness police—and then told us he was going on a short walk and would be back. But he asked us to lock the front door and turn on the alarm.”
“And then what happened?” I was on the edge of my seat.
Dave scratched the back of his neck. “I stayed up and let him back in about an hour later. He woke me up before the sun, apologizing if you can believe it, asking me to lock the door and turn on the alarm after him. And that’s it, that’s all I know.”
I slouched. “He didn’t say anything else?”
“No. So what happened? What’d you two fight about? And what can I do to help?”
Staring at him, I made a decision. I needed to talk to someone. And yes, Dave worked for me. He was my employee. But—dammit—I needed advice. Also, he’d signed an NDA.
“Okay, first I have to tell you some background. Hold on a second.” I set the plate of food aside and gulped down the juice, wanting to get something in my stomach but not wanting to chew. I was too sad to chew. Unless it was cake.
I then told Dave about Harrison’s visit, what we’d decided, how he’d lobby for Lina to take the role in Midnight Lady—which was fine, whatever, I hated the new script—and how she would basically replace me in Harrison’s life.
“That’s . . . weird.” His features were twisted with distaste.
“It is what it is. No one in Hollywood is irreplaceable. Except maybe Sienna.”
“Nah, that’s not it. You’re not replaceable in Hollywood, but being Harrison’s sidekick does seem to be a revolving door of stand-ins. Which, if you ask me, just means it’s not where you belong. If you can be replaced so easily in a person’s life, then you probably don’t need to be a part of that person’s life.”
I nodded, biting the inside of my lip, his words making me feel better about the situation.
“So then what happened? Jackson came over?”
“No. Then I took a shower, and that’s when Sienna came over.” Even though it was embarrassing, I explained what had happened with Sienna, how I’d thought she was an intruder, how I’d freaked out and convinced myself I was going to be murdered violently.
At this point, Dave let loose a string of curses and skootched next to me on the bed, wrapping me in a big hug. “I don’t care if this violates one of your employee-boss rules, but I’m giving you a hug.”
“Okay. I accept.” I laughed, returning his embrace. I decided then and there that I needed more hugs from more people. My life had been distinctly lacking in hugs. It would be all hugs, all the time from now on.
“Aww. You two are cute.” Sienna, standing in the doorway with her hands clasped under her chin, grinned at us. “I remember Dave hugs. Those were the days.”
We separated from our hug, Dave settling back next to me against the headboard. He then promptly stole a grape from my plate. “You can get some whenever you want, sweetheart. But as much as I like Jethro, he also scares me, so maybe check with him first.”
Sienna laughed, drifting into the room and taking the spot at the end of the bed that Dave had vacated a moment ago. “I will check with him, but I’m sure it will be fine. And then it’ll be hug time.” She winked at her former bodyguard.
I frowned at the two of them. “Why would you check with Jethro before hugging Dave? Why can’t you just hug Dave?”
Dave sent Sienna a look I couldn’t decipher, which she mimicked, and then they both looked at me.
“Dave used to dip me when we hugged,” Sienna said, crossing her legs. “Like I said, I’m sure it’s fine. But it’s very—I don’t know—flirty? It’s a respect thing.”
“You don’t feel like it’s controlling? Needing to check in with Jethro?” I crossed my arms. “You should be able to hug whoever you want.”
“I can hug whoever I want, and I do.” Sienna sent Dave another look. “But I wouldn’t want Jethro hugging someone that way without explaining it to me first, giving me the backstory. It’s not controlling to take your partner’s feelings into account, to listen to them and give them a chance to voice concerns before making your own decisions.”
The tempo of my heart increased as she spoke, my mouth went dry, and—after spending the last eighteen hours wondering what I’d said that had angered Jackson so much—it all finally clicked.
“Oh my God. I’m such an idiot.” I covered my face with my hands.
I felt Dave’s tentative palm on my back, giving me a clumsy pat. “What? What happened?”
Letting my hands drop, I finished the story of Saturday, telling Sienna and Dave what I’d said to Jackson about making my own decisions and being responsible for myself.
“You didn’t!” Dave reared back, his eyes wide. “You did not say that. Shut up! Not after he walks in on you crying on the floor of the bathroom.”
Sienna placed a hand on my leg, her gaze sympathetic. “I understand what you meant—and he should’ve been more patient with you, especially after what had just happened—but you have to see how it probably sounded to him.”
Dave wasn’t finished. “You know he must see all kinds of stuff in his job, bad shit. And he’s thinking the worst, and then he’s panicking about your safety, and then you tell him he has no say in your life? That kind of thing will make a dude crazy. It’s like, hardwired or something in our brains. Me Jackson. You Rae. Must protect.”
I groaned. “This is all so messy. I don’t understand this. Aren’t we all responsible for ourselves? Aren’t my decisions my own?” This is what my mother had always told me.
“Yes, of course. But also, no. Not when you’re in a committed relationship, no.” Sienna shook her head. “For the record, I want to point out again that you’d just experienced something deeply distressing. He should have been more patient with you. And he shouldn’t have told you to go back to LA, that was thoughtless of him. That said, moving forward, if you want a say in Jackson’s life, then you have to give him a say in yours.”
“I don’t want to control him! I want him to be happy.”
“But let’s say he decided to quit his job and become a no-parachute skydive instructor,” Dave said, stealing a few more grapes.
“Of course I wouldn’t be okay with that because that would be suicide.” I sent Dave a flat look. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Fine. What if he got into snake handling?” Dave took the plate and set it on his lap, giving up all pretense of sharing the plate with me. “I hear it can be a hell of a rush. Or what if he took up motorcycle racing with no helmet? Or what if—”
“Okay, okay. I get your point.” I lifted my hands, my chest and neck hot for some reason. “When it comes to his safety, I guess I would want my opinion to be considered.” I peeked at Sienna, then Dave. “Do you think this is why he’s so mad? Because of what I said?”
Dave exhaled through his nose, his eyes unfocused as he considered my question. “You know, he didn’t seem mad. He seemed . . .”