Something was off; she could feel it, but she didn’t know what it was…or what it could be. She was scared to ask, worried that he’d give her an answer she didn’t want to hear, but she wasn’t the type of person to ignore the elephant in the room. Her parents hadn’t raised her to sweep things under the rug. In fact, they had taught her to face a situation head-on at the onset of a problem.
So that’s exactly what she did. “What’s up with you?”
He turned his head slightly to the side, away from her, and scratched his neck, just beneath his jawline. Then he dropped his chin before swinging his attention her way. There was a dullness to his eyes that intensified the ripple of worry in Emily’s chest. Whatever he had to say, she wouldn’t like it.
He shifted on his bottom to face her better. “I saw Bobby the other day.”
That didn’t surprise her as much as it confused her. It was a relatively small town, so the chances of the two running into each other were rather high. The confusing part was why it seemed to bother him so much. The only thing she could think of was that Bobby had said something about her that might’ve scared him off.
“And…?” she pressed.
“He told me that the reason Brenda left town was because she was pregnant…with my baby.” That news had tied his insides into knots, similar to what it did to Emily just now. “Apparently, she was worried about what it would look like, or what people would say…or what I would do. So she went to him for help.”
“I don’t understand, why would she want or need his help?”
Andy licked his bottom lip before clamping it between his teeth while he thought about the answer Bobby had given him. “He said she wanted to get an abortion, but she didn’t have the money for it, and she didn’t want to get it done around here.”
Emily couldn’t speak. She couldn’t even open her mouth. She sat stock-still, hanging on to every word that filled her with pain and heartache. For the first time in her entire life, she truly wished she had ignored the elephant.
“Although, he did admit to me that he’d gone to see her over the Fourth of July holiday. So you were right about that.”
At this point, Emily didn’t care that Bobby had lied to her about where he’d been. She pretty much already knew that. What she cared about was what had happened to Brenda, and what this meant for their relationship. “That was seven months ago, Andy. Did something happen during the procedure? Did she get hurt?”
“No. When he went to see her, he found out that she didn’t go through with it. She’d changed her mind and decided to have the baby.”
“Then why hasn’t she come back?” Emily started to question the validity of this story and wondered if it was nothing more than a lie Bobby had used to break them up.
“Apparently—and keep in mind who this came from—she told him that she didn’t want to raise a baby with me. She said I wouldn’t make a good father, and that they’d both be better off without me.”
For the first time in two days, she touched him. She reached out and brushed the backs of her fingers down the short hairs that decorated his cheek. It wasn’t the intimate touch they were both used to, but it was exactly what he needed. “You know that’s not true, right? He more than likely went there to get her back, thinking he could use the abortion against her as blackmail, and without the baby, there would be no reason she wouldn’t take him back. I mean, he broke up with me before he left, so he obviously had other intentions than to simply check up on her.”
Andy couldn’t deny that. In fact, that same thought had crossed his mind, except with all the other emotions running rampant throughout his nervous system, he wasn’t sure what to believe.
“So when she told him that she decided to keep the baby, he probably got angry and fed her a bunch of lies to hurt her,” she continued with her theory. “Why is he telling you all of this now? Why wait this long?”
Andy shrugged, even though he likely knew the reason. “You’ve said yourself that he’s been suspicious of us, so this was probably his way of getting me to leave so he can swoop in and save the day.”
Emily hadn’t given the ramifications of this much thought until this very second. The idea that Andy would leave hadn’t crossed her mind, and now that it had, hopelessness spread inside her. “Well, regardless of why he’s waited so long, what does this mean for you? If you really do have a kid out there—or on the way—what are you going to do?”
“He told me where she was, so I went there yesterday.” He hadn’t told her that he was leaving town because, until he knew if it’d all been a lie or not, he didn’t want to say anything to Emily and possibly upset her for no reason. Except he couldn’t keep it from her any longer. She could read him like a book; he knew he’d never be able to get away with it. “But I didn’t find her.”
“So is she not there, or you just didn’t find her?”
“As far as I know, she’s not there. I don’t know if she left or if he’d made the whole thing up. But I scoured the whole of that town, asked anyone I came across, and ended up leaving with as many answers as I’d gone there with.” Returning home without the truth had only made Andy more upset. The unknown was what really got to him.
“Have you told Bobby that she wasn’t there?”
“I stopped him after church this morning, but he didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Maybe she’s just waiting until the baby’s born.” A knot formed in Emily’s throat, making it difficult to speak without losing her voice. But there was one question she needed answered. “If that’s the case and she shows back up with a baby, what does that mean for you?”
“I guess it means I’m a dad.”
She cleared her throat and tried again. “Okay, then what would it mean for us?”
Andy hesitated for a moment, his silence becoming static in the air around them. “I have no idea. I guess that would depend on how you felt about it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m going to be honest with you, Emily…I have feelings for you, serious feelings.” This was the first time he’d ever felt this way about anyone, let alone admitted it aloud. His nerves were already fried, but the sight of Emily’s faint smile gave him the confidence to continue. “I won’t abandon my kid—if it really is mine. I will be there for it and Brenda, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be with Brenda. So, like I said, it depends on you, and if you could be with a guy who has a baby with someone else.”
It was a lot for Emily to consider. She hadn’t been given as much time to process this as Andy had. Needing a moment to try to organize her chaotic thoughts, she pushed to her feet and turned to stand with her back to him. It was hard enough to work through all the questions and scenarios while next to him, it was impossible while looking at him.
It only took Andy a few seconds to spring into action. As soon as she turned away from him, he stood and moved to stand behind her, both of their backs now to the roaring river. He gently held onto her hips and lowered his lips to her ear. “I’m sorry, Emily. I never meant to hurt you like this. Trust me, you’re the last person I would ever want to hurt.”