That I was foolish to feel more and think there was more between us. We slept together, he told them, and now he’s done with me.
It wouldn’t be the first time I thought a man wanted more than just a fling. The thought is an ice bath but I’m quickly relieved of that submersion when Kamden says, “I placed cameras in the living room … I know he took advantage of you.”
I feel sicker as his admission sinks in. This is a new kind of hell. A bloody nightmare. One I can’t escape.
“You put cameras …?” I can’t finish the question; there’s no more air in my lungs. He put cameras in my home? Kamden spied on me? My Kamden? The one man I can remember who I’ve trusted all my life? The questions race through my mind. It’s not possible. “You wouldn’t do that to me.”
Cade says something, confidently even, not that I hear a damn word. Kamden’s blue gaze doesn’t leave mine. We’re caught here, staring at one another as we come to terms with our new reality. I hope Kam can feel this, this burgeoning sense of betrayal brewing through me. It’s hot and suffocating. My eyes prick and I hate it. I hate that he’s done this to me.
I expect a lover to break my heart, but not Kamden.
“Yes. I put cameras in the house to—” His voice is even before I cut him off, although his expression is anything but. There’s a sorrow there that I’ve seen before. Only once, but it’s the kind of sorrow that comes with the fear of losing me.
“And you say Zander crossed a line?” It takes everything I have to push out the accusation as I stare at my dearest and closest companion. My bottom lip wobbles again and I have to bite down on it, closing my eyes out of frustration. My hands tremble and I pull them into my lap.
“You know I did it because I love you,” he practically whispers and I’d forgotten about the other two onlookers until one of their chairs protests as they readjust in their seat. I’m not sure which one it was, and I couldn’t care less. Let them watch. Let them know what it’s like to betray me.
“You spied on me.” My voice comes out in a low hiss as I raise my eyes to Kamden. I’m seething with anger.
“You … I can’t trust … I …” Kamden stumbles over his own words and I struggle not to break his gaze. He does it instead. He’s the first to look away and seems to second-guess himself.
“That fucking hurts,” I say, biting out the words.
My moral high ground is swiftly taken away from me as Kamden’s exasperation reveals itself. “What do you want from me? The last time I left you alone—”
Raising my voice I can no longer control, I tell him, “I wasn’t alone!” Heat rolls down my spine. “This time,” I add to clarify and lower my voice. “I wasn’t alone.”
“No. You weren’t.” Kamden doesn’t back down, and his lowly spoken words are harsh.
“It’s not like I didn’t want him.”
“He’s supposed to take care of you,” Kam says.
“Since when does sex not fall under that umbrella?” My response is flippant and arrogant, and Kamden reacts with equal parts disbelief and outrage.
“Since you tried to kill yourself!”
My throat instantly dries and my attempt to swallow is painful as I lean farther away from Kamden. My lips part to object, but there are no words.
“You aren’t ... You aren’t okay,” Kam says, his voice gentler now, and his hand raised as if he’s approaching a wild animal. “It was wrong of him to touch you in any way. He was only there to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself. That was his only job. He crossed the line multiple times and I can’t ignore that. You matter to me. Your safety matters to me.”
His only job. A sarcastic huff leaves me although my fight has waned. The first time I saw Zander, I wanted him. I was drawn to him. A piece of me needed him. It didn’t have a damn thing to do with a job opportunity.
In my silence, Kamden repeats, “He was supposed to take care of you, protect you. Not sleep with you.”
Was. Kamden speaks of Zander as if he’s in the past tense.
They’re going to take him away from me. I can hardly breathe. I would beg them, if that’s what they want. I will beg them. It takes a moment for me to gather my composure and my dignity.
Licking my bottom lip, I muster the courage to look Kamden in the eye and tell him, “I’ll tell the judge it was all of you.”
My words are met with a deafening silence. “I’ll tell him each one of you abused me.”
“Ella.” Kamden ushers his warning in a whisper.
“Not you … but if you make me, I’ll tell the judge you knew.” If I’m not above begging, I’m damn sure not above blackmail, defamation, or whatever the fuck this is. “You won’t take him away from me.”
Zander
The city was going by in the background without making any impression before, but now it’s in vivid detail. My main priority is getting to Ella. There’s an anxiousness I haven’t felt for her before. A need to protect her.
I know the situation is complicated, but this part seems simple. Get to her. Get to her. Get to her. I ignore my phone vibrating in the passenger seat; one glance in the rearview and I know it’s Damon calling.
Friendship be damned, I won’t make the mistake of not fighting for her to have a say in this. If nothing else, she deserves to hear from me and know this wasn’t my choice.
With the tires screeching and my nerves still rattled, I pull into the parking lot six minutes later. The office is on the top floor of a two-story building. We chose the location because we considered possible press coverage when we designed her protection plan. She’s not unknown to the world, and no matter how slim the chances, we had to prepare for everything. It’s harder to take photos of a person when they’re not at ground level.
It’s then that I consider what exactly I’m about to walk into. I can already feel the betrayed gaze of my brother and the sick feeling that comes with it.
The second the car door shuts with a thunk, my name is shouted from Damon’s car pulling in beside me. In the shade of the towering building, a chill settles over me and I ignore Damon, I ignore the gut instinct to give my brother space now that he knows what I’ve done.
Instead, one foot moves in front of the other, but not fast enough.
Damon throws himself out of the driver’s seat so fast that the door hangs open after him. “You can’t do this,” he shouts although there’s a pleading tone in his voice. We’re both angling for the entrance, and he collides with me as I’m reaching for the door. His shoulder is pressed to my shoulder and I’m met with a desperation in his gaze as I can feel his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. The momentum takes me a few feet away but I’m determined. “Zander. You can’t go in there. You’re off her detail.” His voice is low and careful, but again, his tone is begging me not to go in there.
For her sake or mine? Maybe both. “Your brother said you can’t—”
“That doesn’t fucking matter. I’m seeing her, and you can’t stop me.” With my hand wrapped around the steel handle of the black glass door, Damon’s splays against it, preventing me from opening it. The sleeve of his coat slides down his forearm.