“I tried to come back to talk to you this morning. Last night—it wasn’t a mistake for me.” I have to choose my words quickly, and carefully. I could get cut off at any time. “I want to be with you. I need to know if you want the same.”
She pauses, and it’s the longest moment of my life. It drags out and out and out until my entire life feels like it’s hanging between us. Her eyes stay on mine, searching there, and Ella swallows. It reminds me of the first time I saw her in that courtroom. How quiet she was. But she knew what she wanted then too. And I think she knows now. She gives a single, subtle nod.
Before my brother can make it to us, his footsteps foreboding, I tell Ella to sit, leading her back to the table and pulling her chair out for her. It’s silent in the room as she gracefully does as I command. She can’t hide the gentle simper at her lips and it forces a heat to run through my chest.
Pulling out the chair opposite to where my brother was seated, I join the meeting like I belong here.
“I fucked up,” I announce to the room, but I’m looking at my brother, who’s retaking his seat, his narrowed glare not leaving mine. “I crossed a professional boundary. My emotions became involved and I should have told someone before things got this far. I should have come to you.”
“You didn’t,” Cade replies and then swallows so loud I can hear it from across the room. He’s shaken and looks like hell. There’s an edge to his voice so sharp it lowers the temperature in the room. “You didn’t do that, Zander. You had an inappropriate relationship with a client. You can’t be part of this anymore.”
“I apologize.” He breaks the hold he had on me, his gaze dropping to his hands as he clenches his jaw.
“But it would be a mistake to discontinue our relationship, as its purpose has been meaningful to her mental health. I’m certain any one of you can attest to the fact that she has …” It’s uncomfortable speaking about Ella while she’s sitting next to me, able to hear every word.
“I’ve been,” she says, pausing to take a deep breath, then lifts her head to meet Damon’s gaze. “Healing.”
Everyone turns their heads to look at Ella, whose cheeks go pink. There’s color in her face. A brightness to her eyes that wasn’t there when she stood at the front of the courtroom. She’s visibly healthier. She’s been revealing more about what drove her to the unfortunate place she was. “I’m doing the work that needs to be done,” she adds firmly.
“I’m not asking to be in charge of her care. I’m asking to stay in contact. It’s my opinion that cutting off contact between the two of us would have a negative effect on Ella’s health. That’s my top priority.”
Cade arches an eyebrow at me. “Is it?”
“Yes.” I’ve felt how Ella has come alive in my hands, and I’ll be damned if I let her go back to that desperate shell of a woman. “Her well-being is my top priority. Same as it ever was. And I know I failed you, Cade. I should have informed you of how our relationship had changed, and I didn’t. I knew it was wrong to go behind your back. But it’s not wrong for us to continue this relationship.”
“What are you asking me to do?” Cade’s expression is hard, and admitting that I have royally screwed him over hasn’t softened it. But there’s something in his tone that speaks to the fact that we’re brothers. He won’t let my break from protocol be the final determination.
“I’m asking you to give this a chance. To have the conversation about what it looks like for me to stay in contact with Ella. That’s what I’m asking for.”
Ella
“And as I’ve just indicated before we were interrupted, I’m not above extortion.”
“What?” Zander’s expression hardens as he stares at the side of my face. I keep my gaze fixed directly ahead on Cade’s expression. I wonder if I hadn’t just threatened each of the men in the room, how they would have responded to Zander’s request.
Swallowing down the anxiousness of Zander discovering what I’ve just done, I keep my hands steady on the table and remind the room what I’m capable of.
“If I’m no longer able to speak to whomever I want, to see whomever I want, and …” I say, barely peeking at Zander from the corner of my eye. The five o’clock shadow along his hardened jaw sends a wave of want through me. I’ve never wanted to kiss him more. “… I’ll tell the judge each of you slept with me.” I dare to raise my gaze to Cade’s, whose own widens yet again before he narrows his eyes at me. “I’ll tell the judge you used me, each of you, however you wanted.”
“Ella,” Kamden scolds in a hiss.
“Well, I’m out of my mind, aren’t I?” I bite back at him. “I can’t possibly know what’s right and wrong, isn’t that so, Kam? So if I’m unable to choose who I want to fuck, and how … I can’t be responsible for my accusations, can I?”
The condescension drips from my words. “There’s evidence of course that I’ve been sexually active. And apparently a video as well.” The last part is reserved just for Kamden.
In the silence, I take a moment to relieve the tension that runs chaotically through me and then meet Cade’s gaze.
“You will do no such thing.” The drop in Zander’s voice and the dominant tone in his cadence send a thrilling heat along my skin.
My expression doesn’t betray me. I remain as poised as I can and turn to meet Zander’s gaze. It blazes with the threat of a punishment.
We speak at the same time. Him: “Do you hear me?” Me: “Understood.”
With my heart rampaging and my lungs refusing to let me breathe, I straighten my back and wait for whatever is next.
Butterflies stir in my stomach when Zander’s hand lands at the back of my neck, and his strong grip there is comforting more than anything. Then he runs his thumb along my skin and as he speaks, his words are lowered and meant just for me as he leans closer to me, although I’m certain every man in this room can hear. Zander tells me, “That is—not only—unnecessary, but an act that obviously requires a thorough evaluation when we meet next.”
Thump, thump. With the pounding in my chest and a heat pulling at my core, I nod and whisper, “Understood.”
It’s only when Cade and Kamden both begin speaking that I cut them off to question the room, “And when will that be?”
Glancing to my right, I meet Kamden’s disapproving gaze and downturned lips. He doesn’t speak and it spreads an uneasiness through me.
“Why don’t we all take a moment?” Cade questions, his attention split between his brother and me.
“A moment?”
“Ella,” Kamden whispers, competing for my attention, but I remain submissive to Zander.
“I’d like to speak to my brother.”
“I’d like to know when—” I begin to say but Zander speaks calmly, interrupting me with an assuredness I desperately needed to hear from him.
“Go, Ella. I will fix this. Go home.”
There’s a numbness that takes over as he relaxes into his chair, facing his brother as I’ve been effectively dismissed. He offers me a covert, kind smile as if it’s reassuring, but I don’t want to leave.