When I got into bed, I reached for my phone, and I did the smart thing that any woman in my position would do.
I googled, ‘Sex addiction. The facts.’
Dear Diary
Senior Year
It felt soooo good to sneak out last night, but I have to be careful. I think Dad’s suspicious, and I really don’t want him to catch me. He’s so mean lately. I don’t know what’s up with him, with Mom too. She’s drinking again, so I know something’s going on.
Of course, they won’t tell me.
I don’t count.
At least, that’s how it’s starting to feel.
I wish I were one of those girls who disobeyed to get their parents’ attention, but I’d prefer to just stay under the radar. Thank God I’ll be out of here soon.
I’m still not sure what I want to study. Dad says that I shouldn’t be stupid—why become a nurse when I have the grades to be a doctor? But I don’t want to be a doctor. I don’t want to have to make life and death decisions for someone. I just want to help people. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. But Dad says that I’d be wasting myself.
Would I?
Really?
Helping people get better? To overcome illnesses? Is that a waste? When we were in Haiti, nurses helped me more than the doctors did.
I don’t think he’s being fair, but he’s the one who’ll be paying for it seeing as I never got a scholarship. That’s what happens when you don’t play sports anymore.
Anyway, enough about him and college, that’s too depressing and last night was great. We went to that dive bar on the edge of town. The Pig & Whistle. I have no idea why it’s called that but it was grungy and dark and really kinda skanky, but they played the best music.
Laurie, Josse, and I hung out and danced for hours. Laurie’s ID card is a work of frickin’ art, so we managed to get our hands on some tequila as well.
It was nerve-wracking being there, a little like an adrenaline rush. I guess it’s weird to admit that it made me feel really young and really adult all at the same time. Young because I was surrounded by older men and women who were drinking hardcore, kissing and, well, touching each other up as if they were in their bedrooms. But adult too because, next year, I’ll be able to do this as often as I want. Maybe not the drinking, but the clubs. The dancing. I can’t wait!
It really shouldn’t have been the highlight of my night, but that guy with the streak of silver in his hair showed up. I’m not sure why. He was alone, not with his brothers—I watched Sons of Anarchy so I could learn some of the words—and I felt certain he was watching me. But why would he be?
As long as I watched him, he never once glanced my way, but I saw how many women were all over him. They touched him like they had a right to as well.
It made me jealous.
Crazy, I know.
I have nothing to be jealous about.
Why would I want to be with a biker anyway? They’re dangerous and they do bad stuff… So why does that just make him more interesting? Haaaaalp!
Fifteen
Storm
PRESENT - JANUARY
"Pretty drastic move, Dig," I pointed out as I watched him pacing from one side of the office to the next.
"What other choice do I have, man? Every time I fucking mention going back to West Orange, MaryCat loses her shit." Air gusted from between his lips as he rumbled, "I’m not even sure how they were gonna do what they said they were, but she’s got it in her head that they’re going to take Maddox away from us."
"You know Rex’d never let that happen."
"I do, but where the fuck is he? How the hell can he keep my Old Lady and my kid safe when he’s in the fucking wind?"
I winced because, unfortunately, he had a point.
Seven days, and we still hadn’t heard a peep from him, which was not only unlike him, it was worrying too.
I scraped a hand over my beard, smoothing it down before I scratched it. "You sure you want to transfer here permanently?"
He grimaced. "Buttfuck, Ohio ain’t exactly our style."
"Not mine either," I said wryly. "But it’s good for hiding out. Laying low."
"I need to assess the threat but, either way, threat or not, I know she wants to be as far from her mom as physically possible, and I don’t fucking blame her. So, if Buttfuck, Ohio keeps my woman happy, then I’ve no problem with staying.
"She’s been better since she got here. I really need to thank Keira, Storm. She’s been a champ." He scrubbed his jaw. "Helping her buy all the shit she and Maddox needed, keeping her calm, I’m pretty sure she’s cried less this week too."
That was my Keira. A fucking angel.
Eyeing him, I commented, "Got a space on the council, Dig. Enforcer. Nobody I’d prefer taking that spot, having my back, than a West Orange brother."
Digger gaped at me. "You shitting me?"
"Nope. That’s the only spot I ain’t filled yet."
"How come?"
"The guy I offered it to didn’t want it, and he was the only one I didn’t think his parents were siblings too."
Digger snorted. "They ain’t that bad here."
"No?" I rolled my eyes. "If you say so."
"GIF and Techie are okay. That Grim’s a bit of a prick. He’s got a real attitude problem, and he treats the whores like shit." He grunted. "Now you come to mention it, I wondered why I hadn’t seen an Enforcer. Just thought there was a run going on that no one was talking about."
"Well, now you know. No one would take the job."
He snorted. "This is getting to be a habit. You hauling my ass in on jobs that no one else will do."
I grinned a little. "At the time, you were the only Sinner Keira liked."
"Don’t think she liked me that much that she wanted me to officiate her wedding," he retorted with a soft shake of his head.
Jimmy had only been a Prospect at the time. I’d have preferred Rex to officiate, but Keira would have shit a brick if he’d been the one marrying us.
"Is it dangerous?" Digger asked, changing the subject.
"Ain’t being a Sinner dangerous?"
"I got a kid now, Storm. I wanna make sure I’m around for graduation."
Nodding, I replied, "I know, man, I know. What can I say? Nyx did the job in West Orange for a long enough time without croaking it, and it’s not as chaotic here. Mostly I’m trying to get the legit side of shit set up.
"You and I both know that Rex uses this place more as a halfway home on runs."
Digger hummed his agreement. "True. You want to change that?"
I shrugged. "Probably. Why not, huh? Makes it more challenging, and God knows, it’s boring by comparison." Stretching my arms out, I cracked my knuckles. "I know there’s a house down the road from mine available to rent. It’s cheaper than West Orange. You’ll get more bang for your buck."
"Not sure that hoity-toity subdivision will cope with three brothers living in it."