My temptation.
A blessing and a curse.
Who dared me to be bad.
Who allowed me to be free.
Clearly, he didn’t realize that.
I knew why too… My bad, my free, by comparison to his, were pathetic. But when you were raised in a household with a minister as a father, one who’d gone on missions, taking it doggy style was unorthodox.
Pathetic, I was so pathetic.
As I tapped my hand on MaryCat’s door, I had to admit that his admission he jacked off twenty-plus times a day came as a shock.
Twenty times?
How the hell did he get hard so often?
And how often did he need sex to feel sated?
Or, by that point, was it not about the fulfillment but something else?
Confused and, weirdly enough, turned on, I decided I needed to research sex addiction more. Nothing about that sounded sexy, but Storm… he always made me burn. I’d never seen him jack off either. He’d never done that in front of me.
Truth was, I’d spent the last weeks trying to acclimate to Ohio, getting Cyan registered at school, making sure she had everything she needed because Storm insisted she go private.
In the meantime, I’d signed her up for some after-school activities, well aware that she had a lot of energy to burn, was used to being active, so being stuck at home would do her no good at all.
Since moving, it had all been about Cyan. Rightfully so. But now, with the winter break eking out, the new year beckoning, I recognized that I needed to understand the man I’d called husband if we were ever to take some steps forward instead of backward.
Storm was right—he might never earn my forgiveness, but I deserved for him to work hard in redeeming himself. I was owed that. It didn’t take away from the fact that I wanted to understand, however. That I needed to.
Fucking for the sake of fucking was one thing. Having a girlfriend behind my back for years was another. Because he needed to get off twenty times a day? That was more of a sickness than lust.
His admission changed everything, and he didn’t even know it.
When MaryCat didn’t answer, I opened the door and stepped inside. The bassinet we’d borrowed was on the floor, but in the meager dawn light, I could see she was asleep, sitting up, Maddox nuzzled between her breasts, both of them resting after an early morning feed.
I wasn’t sure why he fussed so much, unless it was just because he sensed all wasn’t well with his mom, but right then, they both looked so sweet. If it hadn’t been creepy, I’d have taken a picture for her to see how he was cuddling into her.
For some reason, I’d come to learn that MaryCat truly believed Maddox didn’t like her. This was proof of the opposite.
Carefully, I stepped over to them both and murmured, "MaryCat? Digger’s downstairs."
She sighed, her nose wrinkling a little as she muttered, "Huh?"
"Digger’s here."
It was only a single bed, so I wasn’t sure if they’d be staying or if they’d be heading off as soon as MaryCat and Maddox were ready to be on the road.
Although… Digger had arrived on the back of a bike. You couldn’t exactly fit a car seat on one of those.
"Digger’s here?" MaryCat whispered, her voice morphing between sleep-laden, rawly relieved, and joyous.
Maddox squawked when she sat upright, but she bounced him a bit as she straightened up, then clambered to her feet.
"Want to button up your shirt, honey?"
She blinked tiredly. "Oops."
I snorted. "It’s easier when you just sleep naked."
"God, it is," she said on a sigh. "But I didn’t like to… thought it might be weird."
"Well, there’s no need to worry about that. If you stay a little while, be sure to make yourself comfortable." I pointed to the floor. "Your shoes are there if your feet are cold."
She obeyed, which made me smile as I could tell she only did it because she was half-asleep. When a yawn cracked her jaw, I grabbed her arm and steadied her before she fell back asleep or something.
I knew how it felt when your man came back from a run the first time after you had a kid. The relief was unreal. The excitement was strong. But then you were just so damn tired because you knew he was safe, and by extension, so were you and your kid, that you really wanted to take a long nap.
Apparently, however, Digger wasn’t willing to wait on her making it downstairs. I heard footsteps and then MaryCat cast her eyes upon him and immediately started sobbing. Which, of course, triggered Maddox.
Digger laughed though, not meanly, just in a way that said he was happy. Happy to be back with his family. Happy that they were together again.
As he stormed forward, he hauled Maddox into his arms which shut the little guy up, and after juggling him to the side, dragged his woman against his chest.
"Don’t you dare scare the hell out of me like that again, MC," he chided gruffly as he squeezed her tight. Her arms funneled around his waist as she burrowed into him.
"She was gonna take him away, Dig. I had to do something. She was—"
"She couldn’t have done shit. You had no need to fear. I’d never have let that happen."
"You weren’t there," I said softly, not wanting to intrude upon this tender moment, but needing him to hear the truth too.
He’d had to go on a run. I got it. Business was business and bills had to be paid, but I didn’t want him to discount what she’d gone through.
He caught my eye and nodded. "You’re right. I wasn’t there." His lips brushed over MaryCat’s temple as she snuggled into him, still weeping but clearly happy to be back with him. "Is it okay if we stay for the rest of the night… well, day, Keira?"
"Stay all week if you want." I shrugged. "No skin off my nose."
His brow puckered. "Really?"
"Really."
When he blinked, and combined with his surprise, I knew the exact reason why. So I grumbled, "I never hated the club, Digger. By the end, I was just never invited to half of the events that went down and didn’t feel welcome there."
His brow furrowed with surprise, but I didn’t let him reply.
"Okay, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll make sure Cyan’s quiet in the morning so she doesn’t disturb either of you. Her room is at the other end of the house so it should be okay. The bathroom’s through there, Digger," I told him, pointing to a door. "Hope you get some rest."
I slipped out, then, and found myself hovering in the hall. Not because I wanted to know what they were talking about, but because I wanted to keep on talking with Storm. I wanted more answers.
But as I thought about what I’d learned, I recognized that maybe the answers he’d given me were enough for tonight.
I already had a lot to process. Too much, truth be told. And really, I knew there was nothing good that would come from me extending the conversation, not until I understood more of what he was going through and dealt with how I was going to handle him in the upcoming weeks.
So, I went back to bed after I opened Cyan’s door and peeped inside. She was fast asleep, the covers all over the place, and though I’d have liked to sort them out, I knew from experience that would wake her up.
As quietly as I’d peeked in, I slipped back out and headed to my room.