It took her a few minutes to reply, and when she did, her voice was soggy and pain-filled. "W-Will you hate me if I tell you?"
Storm’s voice was fierce, ferocious as he snarled, "We will never hate you. Never. Do you hear me, Cyan? You could kill a man and I wouldn’t hate you. I’d help you dig the bastard’s grave.
"You will never earn my hatred. I will love you no matter what you do or say and, until the day I die, I will always make sure you have a safe place with your mom and me. Do you understand?"
Her cheeks were raw from tears, her eyes still wild from her dream. "I understand. I love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, baby."
"Mommy—" I loved it when she called me that because she used it so rarely, but it was bittersweet because it came when she was at her most vulnerable. "—I love you too."
"Sweetheart, I love you," I told her, just as fiercely as her father.
Storm hefted her into his arms, and I knew what he was doing so I backed away, watching as he headed down to my bedroom, the only room with the bed big enough for all three of us.
I darted around him to quickly sort out the duvet, and then as he walked in, I turned back to switch off the light in her room and in the hall.
When I made it back, he was on his side of the bed, the left, Cy in the middle, and I closed the door behind me as I headed to my side. Switching off the light as I sank between the sheets, Storm drew them over us.
It had been a long time since we’d had to do this, but it was totally the right call.
Cyan turned to face me. "I don’t want Amara to go to jail, Mommy."
I hated that she had to be silenced to protect Amara, but I—
God.
I was so fucking lost with this.
"You’re protecting her, like she protected you," Storm told her gruffly, somehow knowing exactly what to say. He turned on his side, too, curving his body around our little girl, murmuring, "I wish you could tell the truth, Cy, but this is a safe space. We won’t judge you, and you can tell us anything and everything you want."
It took her a while, so long I would have assumed she’d fallen asleep if she hadn’t been as tense as a board at my side. Just as I started to fear that she wasn’t going to say anything, she released a shaky breath.
“He started touching me on the ride to the motel. He’d done it before but not like this, and he started talking about things I didn’t want to talk about.
"When we got there, he took all his clothes off and told me that I needed to nap, but I didn’t want to—" She gulped. "He started touching me, and I screamed, I screamed so loud." A sob escaped her. "He shoved a hand over my mouth and he punched me."
"God, he must have hurt you, darling," I whispered, moving nearer to her, wanting to hug her but knowing, as much as Storm did, that she didn’t want to be touched. We were within touching distance, but not that close where skin met skin.
"He did," she whimpered. "He punched me between my legs."
A snarl escaped Storm but he softened it toward the end when she tensed. "You did good for screaming, baby."
Only, she shook her head, whispering, "It hurt so bad that I couldn’t scream, and I started sobbing on the bed, but he left me alone.
"When I was better, I started screaming for real, and that was when someone knocked at the door." Cyan sucked in a shuddery breath. "Amara came in like, like, like Wonder Woman. She just took over, and he didn’t know what to do.
"She hit him and hit him and hit him, then Rain was there, and he held me as she carried on hitting him. He held me so tight and I didn’t feel so afraid anymore.
"My mind was all over the place, but when he held me, it was like he squished all my thoughts together again. Amara was… I don’t want her to get into trouble because of me."
"She won’t," Storm promised.
My eyes were wet as I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You can talk about this any time you need to with us." I might need a quart of vodka afterward, but that wasn’t her problem, just my liver’s.
"I don’t want to talk about it."
"You say that but your mind says otherwise. Why would you be having bad dreams if you weren’t thinking about it?"
She wriggled on the bed, moving higher and closer toward me. Her mouth went to my ear, and she covered it with a clammy hand as she whispered, "I-I touched myself there. Where he did."
"With a tampon? Or because it feels good?" I whispered back once Storm rolled off the bed, leaving the door open as he headed toward the bathroom, giving us the privacy Cyan clearly wanted, but didn’t know how to ask for.
Cy nodded. "I didn’t mean to, but it did feel good."
I released a shaky sigh. "You need to tell Dr. Janowicz that, baby. The bit about touching yourself."
"Why?" she whined. "I don’t want to."
"Because when you touched yourself there, something in your head created a connection between what happened with… that day. You need to break that connection because in the future, there’ll come a time where you want to do that freely.
"You don’t want to associate the bad things with that, because it’s a wonderful feeling and I’d hate for him to spoil it for you." When she stayed silent, I prompted, "Will you promise to talk about it with Dr. Janowicz? It’s something about that day you can discuss."
"I never talk about how I got away."
"Does she ask?"
"Yes. But I say I can’t remember."
I nodded. "I wish you could tell the truth, baby."
"I don’t want Amara to have to leave. I want her to be happy."
"She is. She’s with Quin and Hawk now," I told her easily.
"Why does she have two boyfriends?"
My lips curved. "Because she wants to?"
A ‘huh’ escaped her, then the door to the bathroom opened and we both heard Storm’s padding footsteps. I was certain he’d return to his bedroom, but he didn’t.
"Please, don’t tell Daddy about me touching myself."
"I won’t. Not if you don’t want me to, but he knows all about that kind of thing. You can talk to him about anything and everything. He’ll never be embarrassed. Did he act funny when you got your period that first time?"
"No," she conceded.
"Well, then."
Storm shut off the hall light, closed the door again, then climbed in beside her, all in silence.
"Can I stay in here tonight?"
"Of course you can."
"With both of you?"
"Of course," I repeated.
For a moment, none of us said anything, we just wriggled around and settled down for the night.
I was pretty certain that I’d never fall asleep, not with my mind whirring. Then, she whispered, "Mom?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Will you tell me about how you and Daddy got married again?"
Storm snorted and before I could do more than chuckle softly, he murmured, "Again, ladybug? How many times you wanna hear that one, huh?"
His voice was soft, teasing, and it eased the ache in my soul from her revelations.