I twisted around at her holler, trying to see what was going on, but all I saw was Cyan facing off with a boy about her age.
Darla muttered, "Sorry about this, he has issues." She stalked off, her direction Cyan, which keyed me into the fact that Kelly was a boy, not a girl.
Before she reached them, however, Cyan punched Kelly.
Groaning, I hid behind my beer for a second, then hid some more when I saw Storm appear out of nowhere and make a beeline toward the fight.
"You gonna let him deal with that?" MC joked, snickering as Kelly and Cyan started rolling around on the ground like it was a bar room brawl.
Apparently, last night’s conversation hadn’t eased her anger issues.
"You bet your ass I am," I said with a huff, then I sank back the Bud Light, got my butt up off the chair, and found myself a second bottle.
The family party had started off with such promise, as well…
Thirty-Three
Bear
PAST
"What’s going on with you, boy?"
Storm had made it to the grand old age of twenty-seven because of Rene and me. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that was true. Only, there was surviving, there was subsisting, and there was living.
He’d met that Keira girl, and suddenly, it was like he was living.
But something had changed recently, and I didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
Storm tilted his head to the side, and in his eyes, deep within them, I saw that same old sorrow that had haunted him since birth.
"You ever fuck up so badly that nothing you do can make it right again?"
"We all fuck up," I told him quietly. "It’s how we fix our mistakes that defines us."
His lips rolled inward as he stared at the bonfire. I knew he’d taken a couple of hits this past week, hits that had made him score some pot. That usually led to goddamn crack or meth. I was watching him because he couldn’t pull the same shit he used to.
He was a daddy now.
"Some mistakes are too big to fix."
"Nah," I disagreed. "Just takes a big enough man to shoulder the burden." I took a deep draw of beer and asked, "What did you do?"
"Pretty fucking sure you know already."
I grunted. "That snafu with Kendra?"
I didn’t like that girl, but I wasn’t about to toss her out. She was popular with the men, and though no clubwhore was important enough to cause a mutiny, I didn’t need dissent in the ranks right now.
Not with the goddamn Famiglia buying up parcels of land that were starting to encroach on our territory.
A war was brewing.
Goddamn, I was too old for that shit.
Some days, I just thought about getting on my hog, Rene at my back, and riding down to Florida, but Rex wasn’t ready to lead yet.
We had time.
"Wasn’t a snafu," Storm muttered. "Was a fucking disaster."
"Ain’t gonna disagree with you."
"Didn’t even know she was the one I was fucking," he whispered brokenly, his hand tightening around the can he was holding, crushing it in his fist.
"You were high," I said flatly. "Them fucking drugs, Asher. When you gonna quit that shit?"
"I-I try—"
"Tryin’ ain’t fucking good enough. You talk about fixing shit, but you gotta fix that first." I grabbed his shoulder. "The sickness has been in you since birth. It’s why I cut you slack, but Jesus, you gotta grow up. You got a kiddy now. You’re a father."
He sucked in a breath. "I know I do." He twisted to look at me. "I know I am."
Christ, I wished he were my boy. If he were, then he wouldn’t be so goddamn broken.
I should have killed Ellen. Should have had someone finish her off when she was inside, then she’d never have been able to taint him worse than she already had.
How couldn’t I cut him some slack when she’d brought him into this world craving a high?
"You told her what you did?"
"No." His jaw tightened. "Was going to, but then she nearly miscarried."
I winced. "Shit."
"Yeah." He hurled the can across the way. "Now, Cy’s not gaining enough weight and her dad managed to pull some strings so that the owner of the fucking house I was gonna buy her in the hills has backed out."
"You got money for someplace else?"
"I do, but I showed her that one. She loves it. First thing I’ve done as her husband that made her happy, and I can’t goddamn give it to her.
"I can’t break another fucking promise to her, Bear. Fuck, I just can’t."
"How much was the house in the hills?" When he told me the amount, I said, "Call him up and offer him fifty grand over the asking price."
He frowned. "Huh? I can barely afford the asking price, Bear, never mind—"
"Consider it a gift from Rene and me."
"What?" He gulped. "No—"
"Yes." I squeezed his shoulder, then hit it home, with, "Yes."
"I can’t thank you enough, Bear."
"The pleasure’s mine, son."
"I wish you were my real dad. Maybe I wouldn’t be so fucked up if you were. Instead, I got that bastard Prince’s DNA jacking up my system—"
"Prince is your dad?" I sputtered.
"You didn’t know?"
"Bet your ass I didn’t fucking know." I scrubbed a hand over my face. "He got you hooked on meth."
"I know," was his flat retort.
"Fucker."
I slammed to my feet, hurling the lawn chair my ass had been sitting on across the yard, watching as it collided with the fire, burning up the second it made contact.
Some squeals came from the sweetbutts, brothers peered at me, but no one approached.
"Thank you, Bear," Storm whispered, and I saw he was looking up at me. "Thank you for being pissed."
I was more than pissed. I was fucking outraged.
I’d never liked Prince, but the council had voted on him as VP, and Grizzly was friends with the fucker so I’d pushed him through when I should have been exiling him.
"It’s a good thing he’s dead," I snapped, "or he’d be about to meet his maker tonight."
Storm’s laugh was cold. "He’d have died a lot earlier than this if I’d had my way."
Jaw clenched, I crouched down at his side, ignoring the roaring of the flames, the whispers from the sweetbutts and the men, and rasped, "Storm, you’re a better man than him. Don’t let that shit about his DNA jacking up your system mess with your head. You’re your own man. You make your own destiny, son."
"My destiny don’t mean jack when I keep on messing up. I fucked another woman, Bear. How am I supposed to make up for that?"
"By never doing it again." I cleared my throat. "I messed up too, Storm. Remember when Rene lost our second kid?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"She was…" Shame hit me. "She pushed me out, and I gave up. I-I got a girlfriend, got her a place in town. I thought my marriage was over, but that was no excuse. I regret it. Every fucking time, I regret it."