“You like all this shit?” His question surprises me but I get it. I turn to him, leaning my hip against the counter and crossing my arms.
“I was raised this way.”
“Not what I’m askin’.”
“I don’t know to be honest. At times I feel it’s overwhelming. Why is there a need for so much extravagance when it’s only me and Gaia? We use two bedrooms, all the others sit empty unless we have guests and that isn’t often.”
“Then why keep up with all of it?”
“The security. I have top of the line security in this place. You won’t walk into another home in Chicago that is set up the way this house is.”
“Not even your dad’s?” I shake my head.
“Not even his. Which makes this the ideal home for someone in my line of work.” Switch nods and grabs two beers from the refrigerator passing me one.
“You don’t have a woman?” He asks looking around the spacious kitchen.
“No. And I don’t intend to for the time being. Victoria, you will meet her soon, is just something to pass the time.” Switch smirks. He actually smirks this time. “What about you?” With that one question he closes down completely. I see the mask slip into place and the angry dark man that he has become takes over.
“She’s dead.” With that, he walks away.
Chapter Seven
Tessa
“This is the worst idea you’ve ever had, Tessa!” Tino snaps at me.
“Umm, no it isn’t. The helicopter thing?” I remind him. He chuckles and shakes his head.
“Yeah, that was bad but this isn’t smart. Who is going to look after you?”
“You are. I want you to come with me,” I tell him, grabbing his hand in mine. I know this is what I need to do. I’ve done my research and they aren’t here. Sadly, I don’t know who I’m actually looking for but that doesn’t matter to me. I need to look, I need to feel like I’m doing something.
“We don’t have names,” he starts but I stop him. Placing my hand over his mouth, I don’t want to hear what he has to say. I want him to agree with me. That’s it.
“I am still researching, Tino. I have it narrowed down to the Italian’s and the Irish.”
“They are all over the country, Tessa.”
“Not the family’s I’m looking at. Look, I get it. It’s dangerous and you’re scared,” I start when he leaps from the bed. Tino runs his hand through his hair frustrated by my comment, which I knew he would be. He’s Italian. He has ties to the mafia whether he likes them or not. Secrets have been kept by everyone for far too long.
“I’m not afraid!” He roars pointing at me. “At least not for me. You on the other hand, you’re reckless, Tessa!” Shoving to my feet, my hands land on my hips as I glare at him.
“I’m not asking you to be my bodyguard, Tino. I don’t need you in that way,” I hiss each word but as soon as they leave my mouth, I regret each one of them. The look in his eyes breaks my heart. Shit.
“Don’t you think I know that? I know you don’t need me, Tessa. That isn’t the point and you know it. Getting in bed with the mafia isn’t going to change what happened. Don’t you see that?” I swallow hard and keep my eyes on his not willing to look away from him.
“I didn’t plan on getting in bed with them. I planned on killing the ones that made our lives hell. I planned on gouging the fucking eyes out of the one that hurt me! Killing the ones that killed my mom’s spirit! The one’s that left you on a fucking curb to bleed to death!” The last words come out as a sob and in seconds, Tino has me wrapped in his arms. “If I would have listened,” I whisper.
“No. Don’t you do that. Not anymore. You did what you thought was right, Tessa. No one blames you,” he growls in my ear.
“I blame me. Ania had such a bright future. She wanted to be paint and see the world. Now she can only lay there, Tino. She doesn’t even know we’re here.” The thought alone causes me to choke on a sob that’s stuck in my throat. How the hell does this happen? Why? Valentino runs his hand up and down my back trying to comfort me but the more he does, the angrier I become. It isn’t toward him. It’s toward all those that hurt us in the past.
“Ania isn’t…” I stop him quickly
“Don’t. Not today, please.” He sighs, his chest rising and falling.
“I’ll go.”
“What?” I ask when I’m not sure I heard him right.
“I said, I’ll go with you.”
“You don’t have to go. I’ll be fine, Tino.”
“Look, I know you don’t love me the way I love you, Tessa but that doesn’t mean I can stop it. I can’t! I don’t want to. I’m going.” More tears prickle at my eyes but I blink them back. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pull away from him and nod my head.
“Okay. Nothing changes. Everything works the same over there as it does here.”
“No. I’ll be going with you there,” he adds. I huff out a laugh. I don’t think so. This is a solo one person job.
“Not happening. You can wait on my call much the same as you do here.”
“Don’t do this shit, Tessa.”
“No, you don’t do this shit, Tino! Someone needs to care for them! Don’t you get that?” I yell pointing toward the door. I have a few neighbors here that are going to look after my mom and sister while I’m gone but thinking into the future, they need him more than they need me.
“Tessa.”
“Tino.”
“They love you.”
“And I love them but that doesn’t change the facts does it? If something happens to both of us where does that leave them?” I ask feeling my defenses slowly rising. He isn’t getting inside my head, I won’t let him. I can see the look in his eyes and I don’t like it. I don’t want people knowing me, or knowing what makes me tick. It’s not their concern and I sure as hell won’t let Tino try and break my shields.
“You’re impossible,” he says exasperated from dealing with me but I know that I’ve won this round.
“And you like it.” He shakes his head and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. Before either of us can speak, I move toward him wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest.
“I don’t know what to do with you, Tessa.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head.
“Just hold onto me,” I whisper. I need him. Whether I like to admit it or not, Tino grounds me. Even after all the other shit that I do on a daily basis, I come home and he pulls me into his arms keeping me safe from the outside world if only for a minute.
“I’ll never let go.” My heart twirls in my chest but there’s a longing there too. A longing to feel the love that others do. A longing to be normal. I am none of those things.
“Are you sure you’ve thought this through?” He asks once more.
“Yes. I know that the Russian’s weren’t a part of it. The Columbians either. Their drugs still run to the Italian’s in Chicago through the drop points in Florida. Now that doesn’t mean the Italian’s weren’t in on it. The hits came from somewhere and the order was passed down to someone. Honestly whoever it was had to have been replaceable,” I add. Tino pulls back, tugging at his shaggy brown hair as he looks down at me.