Because you’d have to be a pathetic, repulsive shell of a person to ever do that to another human. Let alone a child.
“Kit’s right,” Brad says. “What he did wasn’t your fault, and it doesn’t make you less of a man. It made him less of one.”
At that, Preston snorts.
Brad isn’t giving up, though. “If I told you I was raped, would you think I was less of a man?”
“No,” Preston finally answers. “I wouldn’t.”
Brad starts to smile, but then Preston adds, “I think you’re a wuss because you wear socks with fishes on them.”
They exchange a humorous glance before Brad stands up. “This was another great session, Preston. Thank you for trusting me.” He looks at me. “I’ll see you at the next one.”
“If she doesn’t forget again,” Preston mutters.
“We can discuss that next time,” Brad offers before taking off.
“I’m sorry I forgot,” I tell him. “I really didn’t mean to. I just…I have a lot going on.”
Preston shifts on the couch to face me. “Like what?”
Tell him.
“I…” I chicken out at the last second. He’s doing so good and I don’t want to screw that up. “I’ve been really busy with work.”
“Okay. What’s been going on?”
“You know…just the usual.”
He scans my face as if trying to see through my words. “No, I don’t know. You used to tell me everything, angry girl. But not anymore.”
His nickname makes my heart expand and crack at the same time.
“I know.”
A tear escapes down my cheek and Preston brushes it away with his thumb before cupping my face.
“Talk to me, Kit. Hell, yell at me. I don’t care. Just stop whatever this is.”
“I’m sorry.”
His Adam’s apple bobs. “Is there someone else?”
His words make my stomach drop. “What? Are you kidding? There could never be anyone else.”
He’s it for me. For as long as I live, I will only ever want him.
Although technically he’s not wrong. There is someone else.
He brings our foreheads together. “I love you.”
His lips gently brush mine, but when he tries to deepen the kiss, I get off the couch.
“I have to go.”
“Why?” he growls behind me.
Because I love him so damn much…
And I’m terrified I’m going to lose him.
My heart squeezes and a flood of grief rushes through me as I turn the knob to my parent’s bedroom.
I haven’t been in here since the day they died, but everything is just as I remembered it.
The king-size canopy bed that was big enough to fit all three of us comfortably whenever I had a nightmare.
The gold dressers that my mother picked out, but my father hated.
The large photo of the three of us hanging above the bed.
I run my hand over my mother’s vanity, touching her hairbrush and lipstick.
I didn’t realize it when I was a kid, but my parents weren’t perfect.
And neither was their marriage.
There were times when they were sad. Times when they fought.
But they still held on to each other and never gave up.
I plop down on the wooden floor and look around, taking everything in.
I always liked the thought of preserving their bedroom…kind of like a museum that I could visit if I ever chose to.
I rub my stomach. I’ll be fifteen weeks tomorrow and I hate that they’re missing this.
“You would have been amazing grandparents.”
They would have loved this baby so much…with every single part of them. They would have given my baby some great memories filled with laughter and happiness.
They would have watched over and protected them.
I’d like to think that maybe they’re in a place where they still can.
I pick up my phone and call Breslin.
“I know I’ve been a pain in the ass lately, but I need your help again,” I say in a rush when she answers.
“You’re not a pain in the ass. I’ll be right over.”
“Thanks. Bring Landon,” I tell her before hanging up.
Eyes focused on the picture of us, I stand.
This place is a museum—a place where memories mixed with my grief fill every square inch of it.
But I don’t think they would want that for me.
I’d think they’d want me to find a way to make this a happy place again. A place where I can feel love.
They aren’t alive, and the thought of my baby never knowing the two greatest people I’ve ever met hurts me so much I could stand here and scream until my lungs give out.
But it wouldn’t do a damn thing to bring them back.
So, I want to do something positive and constructive instead. Something they’d want.
I want to make this a place where their grandchild can feel their love and protection.
Just like they would if my parents were still here.
Chapter 68
Kit
It took three days for Breslin, Landon, Juan, and myself to clear out my parents’ bedroom so we could turn it into a nursery.
“What color do you want the walls to be?” Breslin asks. “I can paint them whatever color you want. I can even create caricatures and animals.”
I look around the almost empty room. There’s still a lot of work—and a lot of shopping—to be done.
So far, I’ve only purchased a changing table and a crib.
“Can we keep the color gender neutral for now?”
While I’m dying to know if my baby will be a boy or a girl, I also want to keep it a surprise. It makes everything even more exciting.
“Sure. We can do yellow or maybe a pale green.”
“Go with green,” Juan cuts in. “No one actually likes the color yellow. Plus, I recently read an article that said it can make babies frustrated. Green is way more soothing.”
Thank God for Juan the baby whisperer.
“Green it is—”
The sound of my phone ringing cuts me off. For a moment I’m scared that I missed another one of Preston’s therapy appointments, but it’s Monday.
Relief fills me when I see Reggie’s name on the screen, but it’s immediately followed by a swell of annoyance.
He’s most likely calling because it’s been a while since I’ve seen my Nanna and she’s requesting my presence for brunch. I’m sure she’ll hem and haw about Preston going to rehab, but too bad, so sad.
She’ll just have to deal with it.
I answer after the second ring. “Hello, sunshi—”
“Kit.” Reggie’s voice is filled with more emotion than I’ve ever heard. “You need to come to your grandmother’s house as soon as possible.”
I freeze. “Why? What’s going—”
“It’s time,” he whispers. “Please, come quick.”
I drove so fast I’m pretty sure I broke at least three different traffic laws.
The moment the door opens, Reggie immediately takes my hand and leads me up the stairs.