“You okay?”
Drew’s voice surprises me, I didn’t think he was supposed to be here today. With everything going through my head, he’s the last person I want to see.
“Yeah.” I grimace as I flex my fingers and hand into a fist.
“Heard you had to get rowdy with the dudes next door to the girls this morning.”
Fucking fantastic.
“Yeah, where’d you hear that at?”
“The guy who knew about us. We have mutual friends. His dad did go to high school with me. I heard through the grapevine. You didn’t have to go to bat like that, but I’m grateful that you did. Heard you got Justice a new laptop too. ‘Preciate it.”
The praise is more than I can handle. I do things around here because I feel like it, but I don’t need some pat on the ass for it. “Just doing my job.”
“C’mon, man, you and I both know it’s more than that.”
My dark eyes meet his light ones, and I can tell - he knows. Everything I’ve tried to keep to myself for months. Drew knows.
“Do we need to have a conversation?” he asks.
This is the opening I’ve wanted, have fucking prayed for. But I’m doubting myself. Worried that I’m not the right man for Justice, that I’m not the person Drew sees her with. What if I lay everything out there for him and he flat-out tells me to go to hell?
Wouldn’t be the first time, but goddamn it’ll hurt.
“Yeah, we do.”
“Follow me.”
At first I have no idea where he’s taking me, but then I realize we’re heading to the office. Which is the last place I want to go. I don’t want Harley overhearing this and then maybe having to tell Justice I got my ass handed to me by their dad.
When we enter, I’m thankful no one else seems to be inside. At least I’ll be able to lick my wounds in private if this doesn’t end up the way I hope it will. He leads me to his office and then shuts the door. “Have a seat.”
My heart pounds as if I’m about to go before a firing squad. In some ways, I guess I am. Drew Walker has my future in his hands. He’s allowed to say yes or no to what I want, and that will either make or break how I envisioned the rest of my life playing out.
Trying to appear at ease, I stretch my legs out in front of me, willing them not to move back and forth. It’s a nervous tick I have, and I don’t want Drew to know he intimidates me.
“What is it you want to talk to me about?” he asks, although he knows exactly what it is. Everyone knows what it is.
Clearing my throat, I do my best to be the man my dad raised me to be. Don’t back down, ask for what you want, fuck ‘em if they don’t agree with you. This right here is too important to fuck ‘em if they don’t agree with me. I struggle with how to start my declaration to him.
“Justice has always been special to me, since that night with Travis. Even before then,” I’m quick to assure. I don’t want him to think I have some sort of white knight syndrome and I get off on helping people. That’s not who I am.
“That night changed a lot of us.” He scratches the back of his neck. “There are some things that will never be the same again, but trust me when I say I don’t think you have some sort of hard-on for helping damsels in distress. I’ve never seen you do it again, although there are times when you could’ve.”
“Right,” I answer, thankful he’s on the same page as me. “But Justice, she and I have always had a connection with one another. Something I’ve never had with another person. Yes, it was strengthened by what we both went through, but it’s not the cause of it.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He steeples his fingers, nodding at what I’m saying. “The last thing I want is for my daughter to feel as if she’s some kind of pet project.”
“No, she’s not. I’ve kept my distance, only because I know what I feel for her. Over the years when we’ve been there for one another, we’ve forged a bond that’s not going to be broken, but it’s strong. Unbelievably strong.”
“I’ve seen it. When the two of you are together, it’s almost as if there’s a string pulling you two closer. I haven’t wanted to acknowledge it because she’s as young as she is.”
“Yes, I wanted her to be able not to only make her own decision, but to be an adult when she made said decision. On her sixteenth and eighteenth birthdays, she kissed me.”
Drew chuckles. “Well, sounds like she made it.”
“She did, but the thing is, I can’t go into this with my eyes wide open until I get your blessing. Might sound cheesy as fuck, but I’ve always respected you in everything I do, and this will be no different. I have to know you approve of me being with Justice. You’ve been like an older brother to me, and your opinion means everything.”
I stop, not wanting to sound too much like a pussy, but I know I’m pushing the limits. No one wants a member of their motorcycle club to hand over their balls just for wanting to date their daughter.
“I’ve watched you grow up, Caelin. Seen the shit you did as a teenager, saw every single woman that threw themselves at you. They were way, way, older and I think they probably taught you a thing or two.”
The heat of a blush creeps up my neck. “You could say that.”
“Justice is nothing like them. As much as we could, we kept her sheltered, because she saw the worst the world has to offer so early in her life. Neither me nor Charity wanted her to come out of it a shell of herself, so we didn’t put her in situations where she would withdraw into herself. I think we were wrong; we should’ve allowed her to choose what she wanted. I think it’s important we do that moving forward.”
He stops for a second, taking a drink of the water he has on his desk.
“If it were up to us, she wouldn’t have moved in with Harley. There was a lot of discussion back and forth on whether she would. But in the end, we sided with the both of them. They wanted to stay together, but be out of our home. I stay up every night worrying about them, but most of that worry is for her.”
“I get it.” I take my moment to interject. “I worry about her too. I watch over her more than I should.”
“We all do,” he admits. “But here’s the thing. I’ve got to trust her to make her own decisions. I’ve never seen her blossom the way she has while living with Harley. If I’d known she’d grow so independent and full of life, I might have let them move out at sixteen. In trying to protect her, we’ve all been smothering her, and I’ve learned that’s not what she needs. Justice is a flower seeking light and she’s growing toward it. We’ve all got to let her do that. So to answer your question. If my daughter chooses you, then you have my blessing. There were times when I didn’t trust her and I should’ve. I’m going to trust her now. I want her to keep growing and blooming toward that light, and if you’re the sun for her - then be it.”
I never expected such a metaphor to come from Drew, but it’s obvious he’s done some work on himself too. We all have. Trying to figure out where we go as a club after losing Doc Jones and Travis.
We’ve taken it seriously and put in the time.