I chuckle. “Fine,” I say as I climb to my feet. Cautiously, I watch him stand back up. “You know where the showers are. I’ll get you some clothes from your room and leave them on the counter.”
The heady expression on his face tells me he’s imagining a different scenario.
But he’s the one that just said we need to pace ourselves.
I know he isn’t wrong.
“Thanks,” he says, and he turns and walks into the washroom.
Chapter Eight
I keep myself busy in the kitchen while I wait for Jaxon to finish his shower. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event, but weirdly, I feel like cooking for him.
I don’t know how to cook.
Okay, I make the two of us a plate of chopped up vegetables and some hummus from the fridge, but I do make some effort.
I turn when I hear him step into the kitchen.
He looks like his old self. He’s wearing his standard colors, black jeans with a white t-shirt. His hair is wet, combed back away from his face.
He looks…refreshed, and not just in the fact that he’s just had his first shower in weeks.
“You’re doing it again,” he says.
“What?” I ask.
He smirks. “Stripping me down with your eyes. You’re exceptionally obvious sometimes, Serena.”
I blush, actually just a little embarrassed. I’m a thirsty, needy woman today, and it’s getting a little out of hand. But Jaxon just smiles and walks into the kitchen. It’s still measured and calculated with caution, but he walks right up to me, wrapping his arms around me. “It’s okay,” he says quietly into my ear. “I kind of like it.”
I look up into his eyes and see that he means it. But he’s also playful. Relaxed. There’s no pressure in this moment. It just…is what it is.
“You hungry?” I ask softly.
He smiles and nods.
I step away and set the tray I prepared on the small dine-in kitchen table. Jaxon grabs the hummus and we both sit.
“Feel better?” I ask as I grab a carrot stick and dip it in.
Jaxon nods, reaching for a piece of celery. “Don’t think I’m ever looking to go that long without a shower again. Though the water pressure here sucks.”
I chuckle. “What do you expect? We’re in the middle of the desert and we’re too far out to be on the city’s waterline. We’re lucky our well has been working for this long and never dried up.”
He just smiles and takes another bite.
“So,” I say with a big exhalation of breath. “How do we take things from here?”
“In what way?” he asks as he grabs a carrot and snaps it in half.
My eyes slide over to him. “Oh, let me count the ways… How do we handle all the scrutinization from the other darklings? How do we deal with your mother? Do you think you can handle staying in this tunnel with all these darklings? Are we…” I stumble on this last part. “Are we… What are we to each other?”
Jaxon’s eyes are fixed on me and his expression goes darker with my words. He takes a moment to think about it. It’s a serious consideration. “We’ve used a lot of pretend words when it comes to each other,” he says. “Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Fiancée. Husband. Guess we better pick one.” A bit of a mischievous smile pulls on his lips.
I smile too, but something about the question makes me squirm. “I mean, we have to stick with the plan. You told your mother we were eloping as soon as we got back to Vegas, so I guess when we’re around your family, we’re husband and wife.”
The words send goosebumps flashing down my entire body.
The two of them echo back and forth in my chest.
Jaxon. Husband. Serena. Wife.
He’s enjoying this. Another smile pulls on his lips. “Guess I better go ring shopping, then.”
I blush again. What is wrong with me right now? “And in the real moments? The ones like right now, when it’s just the two of us?”
The look in his eyes intensifies, growing serious. He hooks his foot around the leg of my chair and pulls me toward him. His hands are barely even hot when he grabs behind my knees and pulls me up into his lap.
He wraps his hands around my waist and looks up at me intensely with his green eyes. “I don’t know that there is a label for what this is, what we are, Serena.” His voice sends chills through my body. It’s so low, so intimate. “I never thought I could feel this way. I loved Carley, I did. But this, you and me?” He shakes his head. “I feel like I’ve finally found the piece of me that’s been missing my entire life.”
There it is. He’s said it.
It’s as if there has been a big, gaping hole in my chest my entire existence. And then he walked into my life and filled it perfectly.
I nod. “I feel the exact same way. You’re my other half, Jaxon Gray. The piece I didn’t realize was missing.”
He smiles, and it’s one of those real and genuine ones. The kind he gives when he’s just…happy. “So, how do we classify this?”
I chuckle. “Well, I don’t know if people will understand if I call you my missing piece. But maybe, for the sake of others, we just stick with boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“For now,” he says.
The weight in his eyes sinks into my chest. It fills me up. It wraps around my heart as a promise. “For now,” I echo.
"As for the rest of it…" Jaxon says. I love it that he doesn't move me off of his lap. I love it, that in this very normal moment, light is not splintering across his body. His hands are not burning. This is just…us. Being us. "I think I have to take your lead when it comes to the others. I don't want to make things harder for you here, Serena. So, if you need to distance yourself from me, I'll understand."
I shake my head. "That's not what I want. I'm done dodging all of them. I'm done being away from you. I don't give a damn what their opinions are of us. I don't care if they don't understand."
He smiles slightly. "Okay."
"Things won't be as hard now when it comes to that," I continue. "Most of the others have moved out. It's kind of going to go back to normal. Just me, and Davorian and Ascelin, and Renwick and Philomena. And Nisha. They are not happy about this, but I think they can deal with it."
"Sounds like we have one aspect figured out," Jaxon says. His grip on my hips tightens just slightly, and it's comforting. We're a team. We’re on the same side. Together, we will conquer whatever complications stand before us. "As for living in this tunnel, I'm not really sure what to say about that one. I meant what I said a few weeks ago. I don't want to be a prisoner here."
"I think we can come to an agreement with Davorian on that one," I say. "We need you close, I think that if you can agree to touch the gate at least a couple of times a week, he'll agree to whatever you want. When the gatekeeper is found in the DarkVerse, we need to give them some kind of signal that we are finally ready on this side. I'll argue your case for you. You don't have to live here full-time. Not if you don't want to."
Jaxon shakes his head and looks off to the side. "Where I've lived has never been something I had control over. My mother…" He closes his eyes and shakes his head again. "There might be angels and demons and other worlds wrapped up in all of this, but I still see my mother as the biggest complication in all of this."