But others? To others, posts like that only inspire envy.
I don’t want to inspire envy. Really, there’s nothing to envy about me, especially now that Braden’s gone.
I’m just a regular woman.
And I still fucking matter. Even if I don’t feel that way at the moment. My feelings aren’t important right now. The feelings I invoke in my audience are.
I walk back into my bathroom and gaze at my reflection. Oddly, I look a little better. My eyes are still slightly bloodshot and slightly swollen, and my nose is still red around the edges as well. I’m no longer sniffling, and the tears have dried up.
I brush my hair out and let it flounce over my shoulders. The color is basic brown, not much luster to it, but it’s a nice and even color and it’s thick. My eyes are brown as well, nothing special. But you know what? They’re still my eyes, and they’re a lot less red than they were only an hour ago.
I wash my face quickly with cold water, getting rid of the last traces of mascara from last night.
That makes all the difference.
Then I sift through the pile of Susie cosmetics once more, looking for something that stands out to me.
The mood lip plumper? Maybe. If it indeed will show mood, but right now, my lips don’t need any extra plumping. They’re still swollen from my sobbing fit.
Blush? God, no. I’m already redder than I want to be.
Mascara? And draw attention to my swollen eyes? I don’t think so.
Eye shadow? Yeah, that’s a no.
Nail polish.
Bingo!
Why didn’t I think of that before? No one has to see my face if I do my nails. Eugenie sent me two colors—Make Things Happen, a flashy neon pink, and Night on the Town, a reddish black.
The pink. I can put this to good use. I’ll take a selfie and say I haven’t had the best day, and it’s okay not to have a good day once in a while.
Then I’ll do the Susie post—a photo of my hand with the pink polish. Pink makes everyone feel better, right? Now to figure out the copy.
I muse over what to say while I paint my nails. I have to admit, the polish is nice. It’s not too thick and it dries quickly. They didn’t send me base and top coat, so I use what I have on hand. Doesn’t matter anyway. All the followers will see is the pink.
I regard my finished nails and smile.
I actually do feel better.
The power of pink—
And then I laugh out loud.
That’s my copy! The power of pink!
I grab my phone.
Chapter Four
The posts go live, and I fall into bed. Just a nap, except when I wake up, the sun is rising.
I slept for over twelve hours?
Shit. My posts!
I grab my phone…and it’s dead, of course. I hastily plug it into the charger and check my two posts from yesterday.
And my mouth drops open.
The “likes” are off the charts for both, and I see more comments than I’ve ever had.
We all have bad days. Sending hugs!
Easy does it. You got this!
That pink is fabulous!
Pink power!
Girl power!
Don’t let life drag you down!
You rock, Skye!
Gorgeous color!
You’re still beautiful!
What happened? Sending lots of love.
That color rocks on you.
You should be a hand model.
Don’t let the bastards get you down!
I skim through all of them—it takes a while—tears welling in my eyes. These people care. Maybe not about me so much as the idea of me, but they care that I had a bad day, and that’s something amazing.
They don’t need me to be Braden’s arm candy to relate to me. They just need me to be human.
They need me to be relatable.
I scoff softly. Addie has hundreds of thousands more followers than I do, and she’s hardly relatable.
But she gives the illusion of being relatable. That’s the key.
I’ll be relatable without using illusion, without using sleight of hand.
I’ll be relatable because I’m me.
I’m a woman who just lost the man she loves.
Am I giving up on Braden? Hell, no. But everyone can relate to losing a love. I won’t post about it, of course, but the news will get out eventually, and I’ll have to address it.
In the meantime?
Maybe I need to get to know myself a little better, not just for Braden, but for me. If I couldn’t give him more than an “icing on the cake” answer to his question, perhaps it’s time to look in the mirror. Put Skye under the magnifying glass.
But where to start?
Therapy?
Not a bad idea, and I’ll look into it. I have COBRA benefits from my employment with Addison, and I may as well put them to good use. I’ll find a therapist.
But first…
I need to go back to where I began.
Kansas.
I have to go home.
Before I make any further plans, though…how about a bedhead selfie? Just a personal post to show followers the real me, because that’s my new focus. The real Skye. Not Braden Black’s girlfriend. Simply Skye.
And another Bingo! I just created a new hashtag. #simplyskye
I rise and walk to my window, letting the sun stream onto me. I hold my phone and train the camera on my face, moving until the rays hit me just right, making my skin glow. My eyelids and lips have returned to their normal size, and in the sunlight I look…good. Not gorgeous or anything, but good, as if the dawn of a new day has healed me.
Am I healed?
No.
But I do feel better. Morning has that effect on me.
I snap a selfie, do a few minor edits, and post.
Bedhead! Nothing better than the dawn of a new day. #feelingbetter #embracethenewday #simplyskye
Time for coffee. I head to the kitchen, start a pot, and then fire up my laptop at the table to check email.
My stomach plummets.
A message from Eugenie sits in bold print in the middle of my screen. It seems to pulse, making it stand out from the other new messages.
I brace myself and click on it.
Good morning Skye,
Congratulations! Your post showcasing our nail polish yesterday got us a record number of comments on the Susanne Corporate Instagram account. What a great idea to use it as a way to feel better when you’re having a down day. We’ve been inundated with requests to change the name of the color to The Power of Pink. While that’s not feasible, given the fact that we’ve already manufactured an abundance of the shade with the original packaging, we’d like to bring you back to New York to discuss the creation of a new shade. Your background in art and photography makes you an expert in color, and we really want your input. Please let me know your availability. The sooner the better!