Julius sits down beside me and takes my hand in his. “I’m just going to talk because I have so many thoughts running through my head right now.”
“Okay.” I turn to face him and pull my legs up onto the couch.
“Elena and I are getting a divorce. I’m not interested in rekindling anything with her. She showed up here because she saw the writing on the wall when the process server handed her the papers, and she thought she could sweet-talk her way back in. The shit she pulled when you were here, unacceptable. I’ve told her to apologize, but don’t hold your breath.”
“It’s not just Elena,” I say and then shake my head. “I’m sorry, please continue.”
“No, you’re right. It’s not. It’s me too and the panic I felt. At first, I thought everything going on was second-guessing, when in fact, it was relief. I wasn’t nervous about filing for divorce. I was nervous because I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t worth this headache. It seems that’s all I’ve been, and I couldn’t change it. I should’ve never gone two days without talking to you, especially after we spent the night together. That was the biggest mistake I’ve made in a long time. Complete stupidity. If I could get that week back, I would. If I could make it so Elena didn’t randomly show up and say shit to you, believe me, I’d erase it all. I’m an idiot. There really isn’t another way to sum this up.
“I’m not sure how I can make any of this up to you, but I’m willing to try. I want you, Autumn. I want us to walk down the street, holding hands. I want people to know we’re together. I want our families to have Christmas together. Most importantly, I want you in my life as my girlfriend. I know we have this age difference. The guys on the team tease me, calling me your grandfather, but I’m not that much older. You were just in high school when I graduated college. It’s a doable difference.”
I laugh at his hang up when it comes to our age.
“What I’m saying is, if you’re with me, there’s this role you’ll fall into. Roxy loves you and she’ll start seeing you as a parent if we’re going to be together. If that’s not something you want, please tell me. I don’t want to hurt her. Her mother is doing enough of that.”
“What do you mean?”
Julius sighs heavily. “Elena wants to take Reggie back to California with her.”
“And not Roxy?”
He nods and my mouth drops open. “I’m not even okay with Reggie going but he wants to, and I told him he could choose. Elena . . . she’s not doing this in his best interest, only hers. If she has him, I have to pay her child support. Because she had an affair, she doesn’t receive any other support from me. This is the only way.”
“And she’ll use her son to get it?”
Julius shrugs. “She’s desperate and right now my lawyer says I should let Reggie go. I’ll make sure he has a nanny available because I’m not confident his mom will take care of him.”
“What about his football team?”
“Elena told him they’d stay here until the season is over and then they’ll go back. Elena is living a few floors down, which by the way, is not to her standards. We have a mediation appointment tomorrow to hammer out some details of the divorce settlement.”
“I’m really sorry Reggie wants to leave.”
“Me too,” he says. “I’m hoping by the end of the year, he’ll change his mind. Right now, Elena is doting on him and he’s eating it up. He’s eight and thinks his mom walks on water. Even though last week he hated her.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and listen to his heartbeat. He curls his arm around me. “Am I too late?” he asks. I don’t need him to elaborate, I know exactly what he’s talking about. I saw the footage and the way Camden looked at me on camera. Hell, everyone I know sent messages asking when Camden and I were going to get married. He may feel something for me, but I’m all about this certain football player.
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“If Roxy loves me, how does her daddy feel?”
Julius leans back so he can look into my eyes. He smiles brightly. “Her daddy is definitely falling in love with the new weather girl.”
“That’s good because this weather girl is definitely falling for this wide receiver.”
Julius leans toward me but pauses. “Spend the night with me. Before you say yes, let me tell you how the night is going to go. We’re going to go into my room and then into the shower where I’m going to fuck you against the wall. Then we’re going to go to bed where I’ll make love to you. And once we’re asleep, a three-year old is going to crawl into bed with us. She’s going to put her feet in your face, lay on top of you, and then stare at you until you wake up, fearing for your life.”
“Wow, I don’t know what to say about this offer.” I try to laugh, but it’s a bit hard knowing in detail what’s going to happen.
“Say yes. Or at least come to bed with me now and if you want to leave later, I won’t be mad. I know I’m asking a lot of you. If you’re not comfortable with the Roxy thing. I understand, but before you make your decision, you should know, I told her you’re my girlfriend. We had a tea party and had the most adultish conversation I could with her. She knows her mommy doesn’t want to live here. She cries some and has meltdowns. But she had a place for you at the party and the balloons were her idea. Meghan was supposed to come babysit her while I went to surprise you, but Roxy insisted on going. I guess it’s a preview of what life will be like with me. I have two kids, they’re my priority.”
“As they should be, Julius. I will not be the person that comes between you and your children.”
“And you won’t be. I’ll find balance or proper separation if need be.”
Something tells me Reggie will force the separation and that’s something I’ll have to deal with.
Julius cups my cheek and kisses me softly. “What do you think? Option A or B?”
“Option A,” I say in between kisses. “Definitely need to shower.”
Julius smiles against my mouth. He stands, takes my hand, and pulls me down the hallway to his bedroom, where he closes the door and makes good on his offer.
Thirty-Four
Julius
Waking up next to Autumn has to be the single best thing I’ve experienced in a long time. Luck was on our side last night—no invasion of the three-year-old. At some point, I woke up a bit worried and had to check on Roxy. Ever since Elena left, she’s been like clockwork, coming into my room at night. I’m starting to think she did this for my benefit so I wouldn’t be alone and not so much for hers.
When Autumn left this morning, she told me she would see me later. The problem with later is I have no idea when it will occur. This morning, Elena and I are meeting with the mediator, and then it’s off to practice. Coach is being gracious and moved practice time to later this afternoon. I’m grateful because if I miss the walk-through today, I can’t play on Sunday. And Autumn has her segments which air starting at five until the news is over at eleven-thirty. Our hours suck, at least until February, when I have more freedom to do whatever. Still, not seeing her five nights a week is sort of a downer.