‘I left her a note,’ he said.
‘She doesn’t know you’ve taken him?’
‘No. And it’ll probably be days before she even discovers that he’s gone. Anyway, he’s perfectly content. Look at him.’
‘So, are we all going to be trapped on this plane when we land while the police come on board to arrest you?’
‘It’s a definite possibility,’ he admitted. ‘But I really don’t think so. Honestly, if anything, she’ll be dancing for joy. Actually, would you mind watching him for a few minutes? I need to go to the toilet. To do a number one.’
‘I don’t need the details,’ said Beverley. ‘But yes, I’ll keep an eye on him. Although it’s hard to imagine him going missing. This isn’t Flightplan, after all.’
The man nodded and clambered over his grandson. The boy removed his headphones again and stared at Beverley, as if he was worried that not only had he been taken away from his mother, but now his grandfather was about to disappear on him too, perhaps parachuting out somewhere over Romania.
‘What were you listening to?’ asked Beverley, nodding towards his iPod.
‘Brahms,’ said the boy. ‘I find his music soothing.’
‘I do too,’ replied Beverley. ‘I once heard Lang Lang perform the Paganini Variations at the Royal Albert Hall.’
‘I prefer the waltzes for piano,’ said the boy.
‘It’s unusual for a boy of your age to enjoy classical music,’ said Beverley. ‘How old are you anyway? Seven?’
‘And three-quarters. But I also enjoy Judy Garland, Supertramp and The Prodigy.’
‘An eclectic selection.’
‘Have you ever heard “Smack My Bitch Up”?’ asked the boy.
‘I must admit I haven’t. Is it any good?’
‘It’s my favourite song of all time. The lyrics are outstanding.’
‘Really? How do they go?’
The boy took a breath and then started singing, shaking his body as if he was having some sort of fit while punching his arms in the air.
‘Smack my bitch up,’ he shouted. ‘Change my pitch up. Aaahaaahaaaaaaaaaaahha. Eaaaheeyheeaheyyyee. Aaahaaahaaaaaaaaaaahha. Eaaaheeyheeaheyyyee.’
‘Good Lord,’ said Beverley, putting a hand to her throat. ‘That’s appalling!’
A stewardess ran along the aisle and crouched down beside the seats, her cheeks flushed red. ‘I’m sorry, madam,’ she said. ‘Could I ask you to have a word with your grandson? He’s upsetting some of the other passengers.’
‘He’s not my grandson,’ replied Beverley. ‘We’ve only just met. His grandfather is using the facilities and asked me to keep an eye on him. But yes, I’ll keep him quiet, don’t worry.’
‘I’d smack that bitch up,’ remarked the little boy, glaring at the stewardess as she made her way back towards the galley area.
‘That’s a very rude remark,’ said Beverley. ‘Has no one taught you manners?’
The boy shrugged.
‘What’s your name?’ he asked, not looking even slightly bothered by his chastisement.
‘Mrs Cleverley,’ she replied.
‘No, what’s your name name?’
Beverley rolled her eyes. ‘Beverley,’ she said.
‘Beverley Cleverley?’
‘That’s right.’
The boy stared at her for a few seconds before bursting into uncontrollable laughter and rolling around on his seat while keeping a firm hold of his crotch area with his right hand, presumably to stop himself from urinating in his underpants.
‘That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard,’ he said finally.
‘I don’t see why. What’s your name?’
‘Joe.’
‘Joe what?’
‘Joe Smith.’
‘Well, frankly, that’s the most boring name I’ve ever heard. Your mother must have had very little imagination.’
‘Smack my bitch up,’ repeated the boy, apropos of nothing.
‘Your grandfather’s taking a very long time,’ said Beverley, looking up towards the toilet area.
‘He’s not my grandfather,’ said the boy.
‘But he said that he was.’
‘I only met him today. I was at the airport with Mummy and Daddy and he asked me would I like some sweets and I said yes, and I ran off with him and then he took me on to this plane.’
Beverley stared at him, her mouth falling open in surprise.
‘Are you lying to me right now?’ she asked.
‘No.’
‘So you’re being abducted?’
‘I don’t know what that word means.’
Beverley noticed two passports in the seat pocket in front of the man’s chair and took them out, turning to the picture pages.
‘Well, you have the same surname,’ she said. ‘So I assume you’re just making all this up.’
‘All right, I am,’ he admitted.
‘You’re very naughty.’
‘I don’t know what that word means either.’
At that moment, the boy’s grandfather reappeared and took his seat again.
‘All better,’ he said with a sigh.
‘I’m delighted to hear it,’ replied Beverley.
‘Although, once I start, I’m ruined. I’ll be in and out of that toilet from now until we land.’
‘Perhaps you should remain up there?’ she suggested. ‘To save you popping back and forth. You could take the child with you to stretch his legs.’
He shook his head. ‘No, I prefer sitting,’ he said. ‘Anyway, you never told me what you’re going to Odessa for. If it isn’t for …’ And here he tapped his chin again.
‘If you must know, I’m going to see a friend,’ she said.
‘A gentleman friend or a lady friend? Because, if you’re new to the city, I’d be happy to show you around. You’re a little older than the ladies I usually go for, but you’re still a fine figure of a woman.’
Beverley’s mouth fell open in a mixture of disgust and outrage. ‘You must be twenty years older than me,’ she said. ‘Old enough to be my father, in fact. And you say that I’m too old for you?’
‘I’m just being honest. There’s life in the old dog yet. And not just in the old dog.’ He winked at her lasciviously and she felt the Krispy Kreme doughnut she had unwisely consumed at Vienna Airport turning in her stomach.
‘Well, as flattered as I am by such a delightful offer, I think I’ll pass. As it happens, I’m going to Odessa to be reunited with my lover. Who, I’ll have you know, is twenty-four years old.’
‘That’s disgusting,’ said the man, pulling a face.
‘But it’s all right for you to hit on women young enough to be your granddaughter?’
‘Totally different thing,’ he said, waving a hand in the air. ‘You must be a bit desperate if you’re giving it away to a boy that age. You want a man, not a child. Look, the offer’s there if you want it. If you don’t, it’s no skin off my nose.’
‘Thank you, but I’ll pass,’ said Beverley, turning her attention back to her pages and hoping that he would leave her alone. But something in his words had stung her. Was she desperate? Possibly. But a young man like Pylyp didn’t come along that often, and she missed him terribly.