I should encourage her, pepper her with flowery words, spill my secrets so she can take them for her own. You’re beautiful. Sexy. Tempting beyond belief. I can barely stand to look at you.
It breaks my heart to see her this vulnerable, to know she’s giving herself to me in this way. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it’s the gentle blue in her eyes. The fragility inherent in her small frame. I want to hold her close and cherish her, and yet…I want to devour her.
I bend down and kiss her navel, feel her body quake for me.
More.
I catch the top of her panties in my teeth and tug gently. Her hand finds my hair and she uses it to plead with me to continue. Her small approval is enough to goad me into moving lower, pressing a kiss to the flimsy lavender cotton that still conceals her from me.
“Ben.”
Her voice is barely above a whisper, but it stops me dead in my tracks. I look up to find her watching me with a worried look in her eyes.
“Can you…” Her gaze flits to her panties. “Will you…”
I almost chuckle at her request. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to ask for this. I always planned on hooking my fingers into the sides of her underwear and tugging them off. I was always going to have her pinned underneath me. But now that I know how badly she wants it, a part of me wants to draw it out even more. I’m evil as I press the pad of my thumb over the damp cotton and rub. Her eyes flutter closed and her hips start to roll in a poor attempt to milk me for more. My touch is feather soft and driving her mad.
Her hand in my hair tightens and pulls, and I get the message loud and clear. Still, I take my time, touching her again, dragging my thumb up and swirling it in a circle over the spot that makes her squeeze her eyes closed. Then, instead of pulling her panties off, I tug the cotton to the side and expose her just enough that I can touch her—skin to skin. Warm and wet.
“Oh…my…” falls from her lips and then she’s silent, and I repeat my torture from a moment ago, this time without the barrier in between us.
Eventually, I’ll feel the inside of her. I’ll taste her and make her come, but she’s making it impossible to rush. Every little sound, every jerk of pleasure makes me want to press pause and slow down time, to savor this moment.
I wedge myself down so my shoulders are between her thighs and she has to split them wider to accommodate my size, but she doesn’t protest as my hot breath falls against her skin. I kiss up her inner thigh as I continue circling my fingers. Her muscles tense then relax with every new spot I touch. She’s so responsive to everything, and it makes me want to try it all.
I know from her quickening breath and her quivering stomach that my fingers are enough. I could have her undone from this alone, but I want more. I flip my hand so my palm faces the ceiling and slowly—finally—start to slide my middle finger inside her. She throws an arm over her eyes and I still for a moment, wanting to confirm she’s okay to continue.
Then, annoyed with me for stopping, she reaches down, grips my wrist, and pushes my finger inside farther. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I fucking lose it.
The feel of her is…it’s enough to make me forget my own name. My job. My life.
I pull my finger out and slide it back in, and she whimpers. Again. More. Fuck. She’s already coming and it feels too soon. I want more. I feel her squeeze around my finger, and I’m jealous of my hand. Lucky bastard.
Her back arches up toward the roof and her head tips back. My hands are everywhere on her—pumping inside, covering her breasts, splaying out across her chest as I watch her finish coming.
I know she’ll be sensitive, and I know this is all probably a little too much, but I still drop my mouth down between her parted legs and I taste her. Just as I expected, she makes a little sound of protest, a shocked gut reaction.
I’m gentle with her though, easing her legs back apart after she tries to squeeze them closed, kissing her gently, lapping her up with my tongue until she’s pliant on that seat, racing right back to that sharp edge of pleasure. My finger is still inside her and I add another as my mouth works her up. Her breath starts to quicken and that sexy rhythm falls right back into place. Already, I could have her come again, but I rip my mouth off her, press up onto my hands, and look down at her.
She’s flushed from head to toe, bathed in the SUV’s warm overhead light.
I have the sudden insane urge to declare things to her I can’t possibly mean. Words I haven’t felt like saying in a very long time. Words that get lodged in my throat, stuck there as I look down at her sweet face.
“Birdie.”
She doesn’t realize how tangled my life is.
How messy this could become.
But she’s reaching up and gripping my face, tugging me down to kiss her, to beg me for more. I have a condom in my wallet. I put it in there a few days ago and felt like a bastard when I did it, but here I am, tugging it out, leaning up onto my knees, unbuttoning my jeans.
Her hands are on me, finishing the job for me. Her small hands are so soft as they unzip my jeans and push down my boxer briefs. She tugs me free and her eyes widen. I bite my lip as I watch her curiosity bleed into hunger, then she takes me in her hand, covering me with her palm, and pumps up and down, testing me, exploring me. Fuck.
It’s been too long to endure any of this. She doesn’t understand she’s playing with fire.
I rip open the condom and start to unroll it onto myself, working it down all the way while Raelynn watches with rapt attention.
“Lie back,” I say, pressing a kiss to her forehead before gently pushing her shoulder until she’s flat on the seat again.
I move over her, eclipsing the night sky and the overhead light so she’s shadowed in darkness. I still see enough of her though, her eyes meeting mine, so trusting and open. Her hands come up to curve around my neck and she nods, over and over again, a silent consent for me to start pressing into her. I go so slow I worry I’m going to die in the process, but she’s small and tight and I don’t want to hurt her. Another inch and her eyes pinch closed. More and she takes her bottom lip between her teeth to keep from crying out. It’s so hard to stay in control. It feels like this is all she can take, and I’m not nearly all the way in.
“Please don’t stop,” she whispers.
I rock my hips a little more, press farther in. Maybe I don’t understand what I’m feeling. Something isn’t right though, but I don’t realize until I rock in another inch and she cries out in pain.
I wince before I can help it, and she sees. She fucking sees, and I know it breaks her heart.
“Birdie…”
I start to pull out and she grabs my shoulders, squeezing, her imploring gaze impossible to turn away from.
“Please don’t. Please.”
Still, I pull out and sit up, dragging a hand through my hair, trying to piece together how I could have failed to realize Raelynn was still a virgin.
She sits up and closes her legs shyly, resting her head on her knees.
“I’m sorry.”
She squeezes her eyes closed as if I’ve just somehow wounded her even more by apologizing. Then she groans in annoyance. “Please don’t. It’s not what you think. I wasn’t waiting for any particular reason. I wasn’t saving myself for some narrow-minded view of purity and virginity. I don’t have this ‘true love waits’ attachment to the concept of sex, okay? Honestly, it’s just life hasn’t given me a ton of time for romance and relationships.”