When I first broached the idea to Damien, I didn’t think he would go for it. Now that he’s at school, I figured he’d become strait-laced, but my best friend is still in there.
I chose to study online, to do my degree from home, whereas Damien couldn’t wait to get out of Thorne Haven. The difference between us is that he has responsibilities to come back to, whereas I have freedom.
Perhaps that’s why we’re so different.
I do as I please. Damien is responsible, where I’m careless. I like to think of myself as a rogue, while my best friend is the good guy. But tonight, we’ll both venture into the darkness, and I can’t wait.
I grab my phone and wallet before making my way down to the living room, where Brody is sitting in front of the television, a PlayStation controller in hand while he curses at the screen.
“I’m heading out,” I tell him.
He doesn’t look away from the loud shooting on the screen. “It’s still early. Fuck you!” The sound of gunshots bounces from the speakers as he makes his kill. “Bastard.” He flops back against the sofa before pausing the noise.
“Yeah, I wanted to get a few beers in my stomach before we get the real party started.” I can’t stop the smirk that graces my expression when I once again think about what’s going to take place.
When I left the rose on Mali’s doorstep along with a card explaining what she must do, I was hard as fuck. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten that rush.
“I’ll see you later. I’m going to finish this and get ready,” Brody informs me. “I think I’ve got a girl in mind for our next time.”
“We haven’t smoothed this out yet. Let’s see what happens tonight, don’t get ahead of yourself,” I tell Brody because it’s true. It’s our first time doing this, and any number of things could go wrong.
“Iron out the details tonight,” he agrees with a nod. “But I know exactly who I want taking my dick when it’s my turn.” He winks before picking up the controller, and before I have time to respond, I’ve lost his attention to the tv.
“See you later.” I leave him to throw obscenities at the characters on-screen and head out to my Maserati. Slipping into the driver’s seat, I flick on the stereo and allow the sounds of Breaking Benjamin to serenade me all the way to Thorne manor.
When I pull up to the manor and the gates slide open, I head up the drive and come to a stop outside the house. Pushing open the door, I exit the vehicle, my shoes crunching on the ground as I hand my keys to the valet.
“Take care of her,” I inform him as I round the front and make my way to the door, which is slightly ajar with music already pumping through the house. The interior is decorated with black and red string lights along the staircase railing, all the way to the first and second floors.
“You’re early,” Damien says when he finds me in the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. Growing up, side by side, our homes are like welcome sanctuaries when we needed escape from our own families.
“I wanted to get a few drinks in and check out the setup,” I inform him while popping the cap. I swallow a mouthful before looking at my best friend. “Are you sure you’re into this?” All our lives, I’ve always come up with the shit we’ve done. Every time we came home from our adventures, I was always the one to instigate something else, whereas Damien would pull me down off the ledge.
“Yeah, I’m by your side, you know this,” he tells me, but when his brows furrow, I realize he’s reading into my demeanor. Knowing me for such a long time, Damien can see right through my bullshit and call me out on whatever’s eating at me.
“What?” I play it off, offering a smirk, but he won’t be fooled by it. He’s already seen the cracks in my armor, and I curse myself for showing some form of weakness.
“Tell me,” he says before heading to the fridge to get himself a drink, with his back to me. I watch him for a long while before turning to the kitchen window to take in the garden, which is currently being transformed into a party venue.
“Nothing.” My lie causes him to chuckle, and I can picture him shaking his head, but then he joins me at the kitchen counter, and we stand shoulder to shoulder with our beers in hand.
“I’m not stupid, and I’ve known you long enough to know something is bothering you,” he tells me easily, lifting the bottle to his lips. He takes a swallow before setting it on the counter with a soft clink.
It’s nothing new, this thing that’s been playing through my mind for the past few days. As the buildup to the party took shape, even as I left the rose on Mali’s porch, it screamed at me. Deep down, I know it’s true. I’m nothing more than a sadistic bastard. And that couldn’t be truer because my folks fucked off long before they even knew who I was.
Sighing, I take a long drink of alcohol before I turn to Damien. “I’m so fucked up,” I finally admit. “My mind doesn’t work like anyone else’s. It’s like I want the darkness, and with every day that passes, I sink deeper into that mindset.”
“We’re all a little bit fucked up, Creed,” he tells me earnestly. Most times, Damien is a serious motherfucker, but right now, he’s downright stoic. There’s no hint of a smile on his lips, no amusement dancing in his ice-blue eyes.
“You’re not.”
“You think so?” he questions, the corner of his mouth tilting as his gaze flicks to mine. “I want to do this. I’m ready to chase a girl through the dark woods with you, and you say you’re the fucked up one? Maybe it comes with growing up in a town like this. Maybe it’s boredom.” He shrugs before picking up his drink and turning back to the window. “But maybe, just maybe, we’re all born a little fucked up.”
I look away from my best friend and out at the garden once more while considering his words. Maybe he’s right, but my soul disagrees. It’s telling me there’s another inherently broken part of me that’s hidden, and over time, it’s going to rear up, and I’m not going to be able to control it.
“Maybe,” I finally answer, only to appease Damien, but that twisting in my gut doesn’t unknot itself. It’s there, and I doubt anything can ever unwind the fear and anxiety living inside me.
We don’t talk as the staff hustle behind us. They’re rushing around to get everything ready, and I have a feeling this won’t be the last time Damien and I talk about this. Maybe one day, when I can tell him my whole story, he’ll understand. But for now, I allow my friend to believe he’s right about me, about us.
And I push all that bullshit to the back of my mind.
Time to focus on the here and now.
5
Brody
I’m dressed all in black. The outfits we chose will allow us to hide in the shadows to ensure Mali’s fearful glances as she races through the woods won’t spot us easily. With my balaclava in hand, my stomach twists in knowing. Tonight, things will change. I’ll dip into the darkness that resides within me, and I’ll give in to the monster that I’ve hidden so well since coming to Thorne Haven.