“That’s what you wanted me to do, right? Be the bigger person.”
He was right.
So why did it feel so wrong?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I did want Noah to be the bigger person. On race day, that was all I’d wanted him to do. I’d been so mad at him, so annoyed he couldn’t just see sense, that he was still so caught up over this whole thing with Levi, that he still held on to the ridiculous idea that Levi had a crush on me.
They’d had a talk earlier.
Was it about me?
This isn’t a game, Elle.
And Amanda, Lee…none of them had seemed too surprised to see things really start to kick off.
I faltered, stepping back just a little, my hand slackening around Noah’s arm.
I did want him to be the bigger person.
But maybe not like this.
Noah turned on the engine and I took another step back. I didn’t even know what to say to him right now, and I was still trying to process what had just happened. Noah obviously needed a little space, so that was exactly what I’d give him.
He gave me a fleeting smile before pulling the bike around, easing it between all the cars that clogged up the driveway.
I let him go.
Besides, there was someone else I needed to deal with right now.
As I stepped through the double doors leading outside, I was met by Levi, who stopped in his tracks just at the other end of the patio.
For a second, we both just stood there.
Levi’s face crumpled. There was sand in his brown hair and smeared up his leg and on his T-shirt. There was some dried blood under his nose. His hair stuck up on end and he dragged his hand through it, lurching forward toward me.
“Elle, I’m so sorry.”
I stormed toward him, jabbing a finger at his chest once I was close enough. “I cannot believe you just did that.”
“He was pushing me.”
“You punched him! You…you started it!”
“He hit me in the face with the volleyball! You saw! He…he was playing rough. Like on race day.”
“I saw,” I argued. “And it was an accident. You tried to block. Everyone saw. I know he was…The stuff he was saying was…But you didn’t have to hit him.” I sighed, pressing my hands to my face. “What…Levi, what did Noah say to you earlier? You said you guys had a talk.”
Levi shook his head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”
“Come on. This is me.” Softening, I searched his face. “Levi, tell me. What’s going on? What’s all this about?”
“It’s not an act,” he told me instead, so earnest that I could see his eyes shining with tears. “I’m not just pretending to be your friend, Elle. And it is enough. This wasn’t…this isn’t…I don’t just hang out with you because I like you. I mean, I…I do like you, obviously, but I mean I don’t just hang out with you because I like you, like you. You’re one of my best friends.”
He gulped, breathing hard, chest heaving. His eyes roamed over my face, looking desperate.
And then I got it.
Despite everything I’d said to Noah, everything I’d believed about my relationship with Levi, he did still have a crush on me.
I’d really thought he’d gotten over that. That it was just some fleeting, silly thing, exacerbated by the time we’d kissed.
That kiss had felt like a huge mistake at the time.
It had made me realize that whatever I’d been feeling toward Levi last year paled in comparison to my feelings for Noah. It had made me realize I didn’t like Levi that way, not really.
I’d always just kind of assumed it was the same for him.
I was such an idiot.
Maybe that time we’d kissed had just made Levi’s feelings for me stronger.
“I’m not just pretending to be your friend,” he said again. “It’s not an act, whatever Noah thinks.”
“Levi—”
But he was still barreling on: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get in between you guys or anything. I know I shouldn’t have hit him. Maybe…maybe I should’ve said something to you before, or…”
Oh God, I was such a terrible friend. All this time and I’d had no idea. I should’ve known. I should’ve noticed. I wasn’t exactly sure what I would’ve done differently, but I should’ve done something. Whatever else, Levi was my friend.
“I…I can’t do this right now, Elle. Thanks for the invite. I’m sorry I screwed up. Tell Noah I’m sorry. But right now I think I should go.”
“Levi,” I said again.
He continued to look at me with that same desperation, the same soft, pleading look, and then suddenly his hands were on my arms and he tugged me toward him, pressing his lips to mine just once, just for a second, just briefly.
I gave a squeak of surprise, but he had already stepped back and let go by then.
“You’re right,” I mumbled. “You should go.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, and then he was staggering indoors and through the beach house, running out.
I touched a finger to my lips, listening to the front door slam.
And I let him go, too.
* * *
• • •
It felt like I’d been standing there for hours when footsteps clattered up onto the patio.
Lee’s eyes flitted around before settling on me. “What happened? Was that Levi? Where’s Noah?”
I froze.
“Was that the door?” Rachel said, going to look. “I thought I heard Noah’s bike….Where’s Levi?”
“They’ve gone,” I managed to say. “They’ve both gone.”
Lee sighed. “Maybe just as well. First time I’ve ever seen Noah walk away from a fight. What the hell was that all about?”
I was shaking my head, but then Amanda piped up, sparing me having to come up with any kind of answer. (Because how exactly was I supposed to explain what had just happened? I wasn’t even so sure myself.)
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” she told us all. “Not after that talk they had earlier.”
I huffed, exclaiming, “Oh my God, what talk? What the hell did they even say? What was so damn special about this chat?”