“But…” I gulped, not sure where the lump in my throat had come from or when the tears in my eyes had appeared.
My dad stepped forward and lifted my chin, sighing and giving me a sad, small smile. “You had to grow up so quick after your mom died. I just thought…this summer, why not let you be a kid a little while longer? I didn’t realize Linda being around like this was so upsetting for you. And I’m sorry about that. I should’ve known, bud.”
At least he was back to calling me bud, I thought. He couldn’t be too mad at me anymore for yelling at his new girlfriend.
I sniffled, feeling a couple of tears drop down my face. I ducked my head, trying to wipe them away quickly. “I guess I should’ve said. And I guess I was kind of being a brat.”
“Just a little,” he agreed, pulling a face and making me give a snotty, wobbly laugh before he tugged me into a warm hug, letting me cry a little into his shirt.
And just for a little while, everything seemed okay.
Chapter Thirty-One
Noah didn’t come home to the beach house that night. I was back at work on the morning shift so didn’t get to stick around to see if he’d show up.
I was hoping, though, that by the time I got home things would be back to normal.
Some guy was at the beach house painting the doors. I gave him a polite smile and scooted past to find Amanda in the kitchen, packing some stuff into a box. The place was quiet, which felt unusual—especially after the chaos of yesterday.
“Let me guess,” she said, squinting thoughtfully at me, head cocked to one side. “You’re looking for…Lee?”
“Anyone, really.”
“Master Flynn the younger has thrown a tantrum and left to cool off,” she told me with a helpless shrug. “June sent someone to paint—”
“I kind of noticed. She did mention something about it.”
“—and Lee flipped out when the guy went to paint over some door frame with all your heights marked into it. Which was very cute, to be fair, so I can see why he got so mad. Rachel went with him, but she’s going to see her parents this afternoon. And, uh, Lee said…Hold on, I jotted it down.”
She set aside the brown packing paper she was holding to rummage around the worktops, eventually coming up with a pink Post-it note.
“He said to remind you about the arcade later. Your phone was off.”
“It died midshift.” Which reminded me—I started searching the lounge for a charger. With five of us here, you’d think it’d be easy to lay your hands on an iPhone charger pretty much anywhere, but they always seemed to disappear on us.
I didn’t need the reminder, though. I’d remembered that we’d made plans to go to the arcade today. How could I forget? Our beloved childhood DDM machine was being retired tomorrow, and today was our final chance.
“What’re you doing anyway?” I asked her.
“Oh! There’s a ton of plates here. There must be fifty-odd. I was a little too scared to count, to be honest. June said yesterday about needing to empty the place out soon, and I figured we wouldn’t need so many after the big party yesterday. Thought I’d be helpful. Earn my keep, you know!”
I wondered what Lee would say about half the kitchen being emptied out but decided not to stop her. Amanda had a point, and turning down her help when we were finding it so hard to let go of this place felt silly.
Better her than us, I thought.
“And, um…” I put the couch cushion back in place, giving up my hunt for a charger for a moment to look at her. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. “Did Noah…”
She shook her head.
“Oh. Right.”
“He probably stayed at home last night,” she said. “He’s just…There’s a lot on his mind right now, Elle, that’s all.”
I felt that old, familiar flare of jealousy over how close Amanda was with Noah, but this time with an intensity I hadn’t felt since Thanksgiving. A lot on his mind? If he had a lot on his mind, why didn’t I know about any of it? Did she just mean Levi? And why did she know but not me?
I swallowed the feeling back down far more easily this time.
Plus it helped a lot when she said, “He’s not answering my calls or messages either. I’m kind of worried about him.”
“He’s done this before,” I pointed out. “Usually when he’s mad or thinks he’s messed up or something.”
“The Flynn brothers and their need to cool off,” she joked with a roll of her eyes. “He’ll probably be back later, though. I know you said he took off pretty quick yesterday, but he really does want to talk to you. I don’t know about what, exactly, so you can get that look off your face right now, missy. He’s been tight-lipped with me.” Amanda mimed zipping her lips.
Whether or not he was still “cooling off” or just wanted some space or whatever it was, I felt my gut twist with the knowledge that something was going on. I needed to talk to him. I left Amanda to pack up the kitchen, fetching my keys off the table I’d dropped them on.
“I think I know where he is.”
* * *
• • •
I breathed a small sigh of relief when I found Noah’s motorcycle in the parking lot—but it wasn’t a sensation that lasted for long.
I got out of the car and climbed up the hill, following the path Noah had shown me to the spot I knew he liked. Where he’d brought me last summer. Where we’d really talked about things and kissed beneath a fireworks show.
Where he’d come to mull things over and pull his head out of his ass after race day.
Where he’d come now.
The feeling in my gut twisted a little more. It made my palms prickle and sweat, made my lungs feel tight.
I spotted Noah at the top of the hill. His leather jacket was cast behind him, along with his keys and his phone. He’d changed his clothes since yesterday; he must have gone back home to his parents’ house, like Amanda said. He sat hugging his knees, chin propped on them as he stared out at the view of the city.
He looked so small like that, so vulnerable, and so very not like Noah.
His head twitched at the sound of my arrival.
“Hi,” I said quietly.
There was a beat before he replied, “Hey.”
He unfurled his legs, stretching them out in front of him, his hands planted on either side of his hips. I sat down, mimicking his position, but turned my face toward his.