I swatted at his hand but smiled, not letting him see where my thoughts had drifted. “Don’t go snapping your fingers in my face. It’s so rude.”
“I’ve got a call. You were way too off in your own little world. We’ll talk when I get back.”
I laughed. “You don’t have to keep trying to make me feel better.”
“I can see it, Ash. You’re not a very good liar.”
Pressing my lips together, I tried to gain focus once again and forced a smile to my lips. “I’m fine.”
“Are you saying that because you believe it or to make me believe it?”
“Does it even matter which one?” I asked.
I didn’t know what I was doing, why I was even talking to him. He was right, though. I was a bad liar.
Once he left, I looked at the salad in front of me and tuned Earl Valentine out of my head. Thinking of him didn’t help.
With my focus back on food, I went to the fridge. This was going to be a fully loaded salad, with everything on it. Olives, artichokes, salad leaves, avocado, and so much more. I even grabbed some feta.
“Just keep working, Ashley. It’s all you can do. Just keep working.”
The salad was done. The cauliflower was finishing in the oven, and I glanced around, seeing the cake. I tested to see if it was cool enough. My hands shook a little, but I ignored them and began frosting the cake.
This was what I was still doing when Caleb entered the kitchen.
“Hey, Ashley.”
“Hey.”
“How are you doing?” he asked.
“Fine. You?”
“I’m great.”
“Good.”
Silence.
I was happy with the silence. He’d moved behind me. I heard the coffee pot being taken out of his holder, poured, and then pushed back in.
I ignored his presence. My attention was on the cake in front of me.
I could never get smooth sides. It sucked. I continued to do so though, using it as a way of not having to talk to Caleb.
I should have known my life wouldn’t be that easy, though.
“Can we talk?” Caleb asked.
I paused and stared across the kitchen at the doorway, looking at the potential escape. I could just leave. “No, we can’t talk.”
“I know you’re angry and you’re hurting.”
“Stop it,” I said.
“Ash, you’re Emily’s best friend.”
Holding the palette knife, I whirled around and glared at him. “Exactly. I’m Emily’s best friend. You don’t get to call me Ash.”
“Everyone calls you Ash.”
“Not you.”
Caleb frowned. He lowered his cup and placed it on the counter. “And why don’t I get to call you Ash?”
“This is all your fault.” I had promised myself I wouldn’t say anything.
“You’re clearly tired. We’ll talk another time.”
“I’m tired. That’s what you’re putting this down to. You don’t even see what you did, did you?”
“I saved you.”
“And then you fucking sold me,” I said. “I get that you saved me, but it wasn’t because of me. You saved me for Emily, and I am grateful for that. I spent seven amazing years with her. She’s a wonderful friend. I don’t have a problem with you until you negotiated her return.”
He continued to glare at me. “I did what I had to do.”
“You sold me as if you had a right to. My body. Every single part of me.”
“Look, you fell in love with him, didn’t you?”
“And you think it makes it okay?” I asked. “You sold me for my piece of flesh that was supposed to be my choice. It’s my body, but to save my best friend, I didn’t put up a fight. I never expected to fall in love, and I certainly didn’t want to feel this way. I hold you responsible for all of it. You being the big, bad monster that you are, you should have found another way. I don’t like you. I will never like you. Emily could do so much better than the four of you. So no, I’m not okay with any of you. Nothing you say will ever make any of this okay. You think I forgave you? You think I really wanted to be sold?”
The tears I hadn’t spilled for two weeks came to the surface. I didn’t even realize how much I hated the Monsters’ Crew until this moment.
Analyzing my life, I knew they were the ones who put this crap in motion. Their desire for Emily had set me on a course of pain.
I loved my best friend, and I’d do anything for her.
These men, however, I didn’t owe them a damn thing.
Caleb didn’t say anything. I turned my back on him, and he stormed out of the kitchen. If he thought we were cool, well, I’d just proven we weren’t even on the same page.
“That was a little cold,” Amelia said, appearing around the corner.
“You were there the whole time?”
“Enough to hear.” She spoke so softly as she stepped into the room. She wore a large shirt and sweatpants. Her body was always covered, even when it was warm. Her hair was down, long blonde lengths, almost white in color, and she had shockingly blue eyes.
She was stunning, breathtaking to look at.
“Do you want to have a seat?” I asked.
She lowered herself into the chair. Her hands clasped together as she looked at me.
“Are you okay?”
She always looked ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.
“I’m fine. Everyone is sad that you’re leaving.”
“I thought you’d be glad. I’ll be one less person to avoid,” I said.
“I don’t intend to avoid anyone. It’s a habit.”
I noticed how white her knuckles were. “A habit?”
“You only get hit so many times before you start to learn to avoid them.”
“Oh.”
Amelia winced. “Sorry. That was an overshare.”
“You got hit a lot?”
“I was a girl. I was unwanted, and as I grew, I was told I was an ugly baby. Always a disappointment. Compared to River, I didn’t walk as early as him. Nor did I get out of diapers until I was like three, I think. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’ve always been a disappointment. I’m not as clever as he is.” Amelia tucked her chin against her body.
“Who hit you?” I asked.
“My dad. My mom. My nanny. Anyone who felt I needed to be hit just hit me. It was easy for them.” She whipped out her arm. “So easy. At school, girls do it, so do guys. I’m a punching bag.” She shrugged.
“Amelia, you need to tell your brother.”
She shook her head. “He’s busy with running everything. At least I’m not traveling the world anymore, being left in places and having to wait to be picked up. It’s nice just having a room to myself.” She smiled, and it was so sweet, almost wistful. “My life isn’t so bad anymore.”
I didn’t know what else to say to that.
“I am going to miss you. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for. You deserve some happiness.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that. How much had Amelia heard? What did she know? She didn’t stick around. She gave me a quick hug, which I reciprocated, and then she was gone.