“Yeah, maybe…”
“Get out of that tux and go to bed.”
I smirk at him, feeling a tiny kernel of humor flicker inside me. “I didn’t know you wanted to see me naked that bad.”
Standing, he rolls his eyes. “I see enough of your dick as it is. Go to bed.” He says the last part like a parent exasperated with their child.
He heads to his room while I dump my open beer down the drain, watching it swirl away.
Remind her I’m there.
Closing the door to my room, I head to my desk. I don’t bother changing, and I don’t go to bed like I should. Pulling out a piece of paper, I start writing.
38
Vanessa
If I thought my heart hurt after the stunt my sister and Tristan pulled on me, it has nothing on how I feel now. Whenever movies made it seem like a girl was literally sick with heartbreak, curled up in bed, no appetite, I thought it was so dramatic.
I was wrong.
It is possible to feel sick with heartbreak, like your whole body is sore with the loss of something vital, my stomach rolling every time I think of the look on Teddy’s face when I broke us.
He must hate me. I can’t say I blame him.
I did it because I had to, because I couldn’t let him lose everything because of me when the whole point of us to begin with was to protect his inheritance.
Danika pokes her head in the door. “Do you need anything before I go to class? Medicine? An ice pack? Orange juice?”
“Orange juice?” I start to tear up, thinking about Teddy and his love for the fruit juice.
“I know it sounds insane, but my brother swears by it when he’s sick.”
“I’m fine.”
“Well, okay.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. A few loose pieces frame her face, the rest tied in an intricate braid. “I have to go to class, but I’ll text you before I come back to the dorm in case you’ve changed your mind.”
“Thanks.”
She gives me a sympathetic look before leaving me to my wallowing.
As pathetic as it is, Teddy is—was—my first real relationship. I’ve had one-night stands and short flings that lasted no longer than a month. And man, if this is what it feels like when it’s over, I never want to date again. I’ll be an Old Maid with a million cats. Honestly, I don’t know why people talk about that in a negative light. Sounds like the dream to me.
Sniffling, I grab a tissue off my nightstand, drying my swollen eyes. How I have any tears left is beyond me.
Across the room, from my Bluetooth speaker, Harry Styles croons about the sign of the times. I decided to forgo using my record player today so I wouldn’t have to move from my bed to flip it over and change them.
Because I love to torture myself, I think about Teddy showing up with Five Guys and eating in my bed. All the times we watched Beverly Hills 90210—now that show is ruined for me because I’ll only think of him every time I watch it.
Pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes until I see stars, I cry fully—body shaking sobs—because so many things about my life are entwined with Teddy now. Even The Burger Palace reminds me of him. I both hate and love that so much of my life has revolved around him in recent months.
“What are you doing?” I ask myself. “Get yourself together. This is pathetic. He’s just a guy.”
My pitiful pep-talk does me no good. The tears keep falling and eventually I roll over, cupping my hands beneath my head, and fall back asleep.
“You’re not actually sick, are you?”
I crack an eye open to find Danika standing above me, an iced coffee in her outstretched hand and a muffin in the other.
I shake my head, and dammit if my lip doesn’t start trembling with renewed tears even after hours of sleep.
“What is it and who do I need to beat up?”
“M-Myself.” I sit up, taking the coffee and muffin from her. One sip of coffee and I already feel a tad stronger.
Danika sits on the end of my bed, twisting her body toward me. She utters one command, “Spill,” and I do.
Not just about breaking up with Teddy—but all of it, from how we began, to his father and what a monster he is, to how things changed in Greece, and finally I reveal what happened two nights ago at the party.
“Whoa.” She smacks the back of her head against the wall when I finish, rubbing the spot she didn’t mean to hit. “That’s heavy.”
“It’s a lot to process,” I agree.
“You can say that again.” She’s flabbergasted, trying to process all the details I’ve sprung upon her. “But you love him, really love him?”
I swallow a bite of muffin. “So much.”
“Then why the fuck did you agree to break up with him? His father sounds like a world class dick. I would never do what he says.”
“Because I love him, I had to agree. I couldn’t stand to see him lose everything. I’m not worth it.”
She’s quiet for a moment, my comforter scrunched in her hands. “Do you think Teddy would agree with that statement?”
“Why wouldn’t he? That’s the whole reason this whole thing started.”
“It seems like it grew into something … real.”
A heavy sigh rattles my chest, shaking from the tears still held inside. “He was a player before me. He’ll go back to his old ways and survive.”
“But will he? Will you?”
My silence is answer enough.
I’m not so sure.
A week passes by, and I avoid every possible place and route I might bump into Teddy on campus. I feel like a shell, barely aware of my classes and putting in the bare minimum effort. Somehow, I manage to keep my grades at a passing level, which is good considering graduation is around the corner. At least then I’ll be free of this place, of the memories, of ever seeing Teddy again. If only that thought brought the relief I wish it did. Instead, thinking about how I might never see him again makes me feel even more devastated.
Going through the motions at work, I do the best to get through my shift. My tips are shitty, but I can’t even be mad because I know I’m not my typical self and customers think I’m a shitty waitress—which at the moment I am. I’ve messed up three orders, spilled five drinks, and spilled a basket of fries in one customer’s lap, and I’ve only been here for two hours.
When I come out of the kitchen and spot a dark-haired figure sitting in a booth, my heart trips over itself. But I quickly realize it’s not Teddy.
It is someone I know, though.
I approach the table like a grenade is about to go off. Stopping in front of Jude, I say, “Hey, what can I get you to drink?”
“A root beer.” I look to the opposite side of the booth and find Cole there. I don’t know how I missed him, since he’s giant-height, but my brain must’ve been focused on Jude since from a distance I thought he was Teddy.
“Coke for me, please.” Jude flashes his trademark winning smile.
“I’ll be right back with those.”
My legs feel wooden as I head for the drink fountain and grab their sodas, worried Teddy is going to show up and join them but too scared to ask. Would Teddy show up? Possibly try to force me to play along like we’re still in a relationship?