“If it’s okay with you,” Arianne said, “we’re going to stay here for the night.”
“I… sure.” What could I say?
No, I didn’t want them to stay because I didn’t want to get dragged any deeper into their world? I couldn’t do that; it was their cabin. I was the guest.
“Yes!” Arabella punched the air. “We can have movie night and make the guys watch Magic Mike.”
“Porca miseria!” Matteo grumbled. “Should I be worried about your level of obsession with Channing Tatum?”
“What?” She shrugged. “He’s hot.”
Alessia blushed, gawking at her cousin. “He’s… okay.”
“Are you blind? He’s every girl’s wet dream.”
“Jesus.” Matteo hissed, throwing me a ‘help me’ look.
“Not your type, Alessia?” I smiled, smothering the laughter bubbling inside me.
“She’s too hung up on Trist—”
“Bella!” She snapped
“Trist who?”
“Tristan, Arianne’s cousin. He’s tall, dark, and super brooding.”
“Oh my God, stop. Nicco is right over there.”
“And he can hear you.” Nicco’s jaw flexed. Arianne’s eyes crinkled with amusement as she went over to him and whispered something. He kissed her softly before they both came and joined us.
“So, Cait.” Nicco folded one of his legs, resting his ankle on his knee. “How are you finding the cabin?”
“It’s very nice, thank you.”
He nodded once, not saying whatever was on his mind. Something had changed, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. And I didn’t miss the silent looks he and Matteo were exchanging.
Did it have something to do with what Matteo had asked me earlier?
Be mine.
Such a loaded question.
“Excuse me,” I said, standing. I needed a second, emotion crashing into me from all directions.
“Are you okay?” Arianne asked.
“Fine, I’m fine. Excuse me.” Hurrying away from them, I slipped down the hall and into my room.
Except, it wasn’t my room. Because I didn’t have a place to call my own anymore. Not that Zander’s apartment had ever felt like home.
I burst into the small bathroom and clutched the basin, staring at myself in the mirror. It had been almost ten days and I still didn’t have a plan.
Deep down, I knew the answer wasn’t staying here. Letting these people—letting Matteo—burrow further into my heart.
Heaving a deep breath, my eyes fluttered. I sensed him before I saw him. “What do you want, Matteo?”
“Are you okay?”
“Honestly?” I locked eyes with him in the mirror. “I don’t know what I am anymore.”
He inched closer, taking the air in the room with him. “About what I said earlier—”
“Don’t, please don’t. I can’t do this.” My voice cracked, my agony bleeding out in the space between us. “I can’t be who you want me to be. I’m broken, Matt. Don’t you see that? I’m broken, and no amount of kind words or gentle touches will fix that. I’m—”
He pulled me into his strong arms, holding me close. My fingers twisted into his sweater as I buried my face in his chest, breathing him in. I was weak, unable to stop myself from taking what he was offering.
“We can help you, Cait. I can help you. You just have to trust me. Let me in, Tink.” He held me at arm’s length, gazing down at me. “Let me be there for you.”
“I…” I can’t. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but they didn’t come. All I’d ever wanted was this. Someone to care. Someone to lean on. Matteo would never understand what he was offering me, but I knew.
“It’s okay, we don’t have to do this now.” He brushed the tears from my cheeks. “Do you want me to send them away?”
“What? No! I don’t… that’s not what this is. I just… I have no experience with all of… all of this.”
Matteo lowered his head, touching it to mine as his arms banded around my waist. “They’re good people, Cait.”
I didn’t doubt that.
I was a good person, but I still had secrets. Dark, dirty secrets that would send Matteo running for the hills.
What a mess.
I’d never expected to find my hero in all this… but more heartachingly, I’d never expected to become the villain.
When I didn’t reply, Matteo brushed his lips over the corner of my mouth. He wasn’t playing fair, bewitching me with his touch; his spicy, male scent; and low, raspy voice.
Matteo infiltrated every corner of my mind, hijacking my heart and taking my soul captive.
But it would be our downfall.
I would be his demise.
“Tomorrow,” I said, knowing I couldn’t put the inevitable off any longer. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“We don’t have to go back out there. We can stay right here and—”
“No,” I said with a small shake of my head. “We should go back out there.”
I could pretend for a little while longer.
Chapter 18
Matteo
I watched Caitlin sleep. She was curled up on the end of the couch, a blanket thrown over her as she snored softly.
Everyone except Nicco and I had already gone to bed.
“Is she okay?” he asked.
There hadn’t been time to talk earlier. When me and Caitlin had rejoined my family, the girls had picked out the movie and Luis already had snacks.
I only had eyes for Caitlin though.
She hadn’t answered me when I’d asked her to be mine. Part of me wondered if she knew my motives and that’s why she was hesitant. But the other part suspected it wasn’t about me at all. She wanted me; I had no doubts about that. Something was holding her back though.
And I was determined to find out what it was.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“Do you think she’ll agree?”
“Would you?” I laughed dryly. “I didn’t want it to be like this. I imagined what it would be like to see her again… but not like this. Fuck.” I hissed, running a hand down my face.
“And if she wants to leave?” Nicco studied me, his intense stare almost too much to bear.
I’d churned this over in my head non-stop since bringing Caitlin here. If she wanted to leave, it meant losing her all over again.
“Let’s hope she doesn’t,” I forced out the words past my lips. “I should get her to bed.”
“Do you want some help?”
“No, I’ve got it, thanks.”
Nicco stood and nodded. “She watches you too, you know. When you’re not looking, she can’t take her eyes off you.”
His words hit their target and my chest puffed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He gave me a sad smile before taking off down the hall.
I stood, looming over Caitlin. She looked so peaceful it seemed a shame to move her.
“M-Matteo?” Her eyes flickered open. “What time is it?”