It was why my old man was so pissed about Caitlin. We’d brought her here, to one of our safe houses. We’d pulled her into this world, which not only made her a target…
It made her a liability.
Chapter 19
Caitlin
I watched everyone file out of the cabin. It had been strange, having them all here. I couldn’t deny that a part of me had liked it. I liked Arabella’s easy way and Alessia’s quiet demeanor. I liked Arianne and how kind and compassionate she was. Even Nicco had warmed to our small gathering. And Matteo… I didn’t know where to start with him.
Last night had been more than I could’ve ever dreamed. He wasn’t gentle. He didn’t handle me like fragile glass. He’d taken what he’d wanted and given me everything I never knew I needed. It had been amazing, being worshipped like that. Every kiss and touch, every roll of his hips, the feel of him moving inside me, was imprinted on my mind—and my soul—and I couldn’t imagine forgetting it anytime soon. But the harsh light of day always brought with it a reality neither of us could escape. He was Matteo Bellatoni, a Marchetti by blood. And I was… well, he could never know the truth.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Bella hurried to my side, hugging me tightly. “You’re good for him,” she whispered. “And anyone can see that he cares about you a lot.”
Emotion balled in my throat.
“See you,” I said, the words almost getting stuck.
Arabella regarded me for a second, giving me a warm smile before Matteo called for her. His eyes connected with mine, a bolt of something going through me.
Wasn’t he even going to say goodbye?
Disappointment sat heavy in my chest. We hadn’t had time to talk—not that I knew what to say. I knew what he wanted; he’d made that more than clear. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give him more than right here, right now.
The door banged shut, a gunshot to my heart. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed company until they’d all showed up last night. Luis was nice, and he made me feel comfortable, but it wasn’t the same. Back in Providence, I had friends. I had Gisele and Mari and Shaun.
God, Shaun.
I clutched my throat. I’d shut those memories out, but now all I felt was the bitter sting of regret. He’d died because of me, and no one had even mentioned it. As if death was just business as usual. I guess for them, in their line of work, maybe it was.
Everything was such a mess.
Letting out a weary sigh, I hugged myself tight and made my way back to my room. I couldn’t stay here for much longer. Every day that I did, Matteo, his family, burrowed their way a little deeper. The door clicked open, and I heard footsteps on the wooden floor. It was probably Luis.
But then his voice washed over me.
“Caitlin?”
I turned slowly, my eyes colliding with Matteo. “What are you—”
“You thought I was leaving?” His brows knitted as he stopped short of me.
“I… I assumed you were going back with your family, yes.”
“We need to talk.” He ran a hand down his face.
“I know.”
I did, and I hated it. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want him to ask me questions I didn’t have the answers to.
“Where’s Luis?” I glanced over his shoulder.
“He’s accompanying them back to Verona. We’re alone, for now.” His conflicted gaze dropped to my lips, and my tongue darted out, wetting them.
When he looked at me like that, I wanted things. Things I could never have. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
“Please,” I whispered. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” Matteo took a step closer. “How am I looking at you?”
“Like you want things.” I craned my neck to look him in the eye, the air thick and heavy around us. “Things I can’t give you.”
“You are so beautiful, Tink.” He tucked my curls behind my ear, cupping my neck as his thumb stroked my jaw, lingering on my bottom lip. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish we’d met under different circumstances. But we didn’t…”
“No.” My voice cracked, my heart beating wildly in my chest.
“Come, sit.” He took my hand, leading me over to the couch. I sat down, barely able to think over my racing pulse. “In a different life, I’d court you, Tink. I’d spend my time getting to know you, getting you to trust me. We’d date and take our time learning about each other. But we don’t have that luxury. Not with DiMarco out there looking for you.”
A shiver ran down my spine as I sucked in a harsh breath.
Matteo squeezed my hand gently. “I will never let him hurt you, Cait. But by bringing you here, we dragged you into this thing. My elders, they will only protect you if you’re—”
“If I’m what?” My lip quivered as I took in his gutted expression.
“If you’re my woman.”
“W-what are you saying?” I blanched.
“You’re either with me, Cait, or you’re not.”
“I’ll go.” I shot up. “I’ll leave and you won’t have to—”
“You think I can just let you walk out of here, out of my life?” Pain etched into his expression. “It doesn’t work like that, Tink. I’m not—”
“You’re not what, Matteo?” I snapped, feeling indignation burn through me. “Am I a prisoner here? Is that what this is?”
His gaze dropped and I had my answer. He wasn’t going to let me go. Either I accepted his proposition of being his woman or I would be kept here until God only knew when.
“It’s just until this thing with DiMarco is over.” His eyes implored me to understand. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t make sense of… of this. “If we let you leave and he… finds you… you know things about us, Caitlin. You know where Nicco and Arianne live, you know about my sister and this place.
“For as much as I hate it,” Matteo inhaled a ragged breath, “my family are right. It makes you a liability.”
“You think I’d tell him anything? I hate him, Matt. I’d rather die than ever tell him a single thing.” I shrieked, hot tears rolling down my cheeks.
“And that’s exactly what will happen if he finds you.” Matteo roared, glowering at me, and I jerked back as if he’d slapped me. “Shit, Cait, that’s not… I didn’t.” He jammed his fingers into his hair, tugging the ends. “I don’t want to argue with you. I want us to figure this out. Together. You know how I feel about you, Caitlin. I guess I’d hoped—”
“That I’d what? Jump into bed with you straightaway and play happy family? You just said it yourself, I’m a liability. You should never have brought me here.” I sneered.
“WE DIDN’T HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE,” he bellowed. “You think we could just leave you alone in that hospital, knowing what you’d been through? What he’d done?”
“This is my life, Matteo. My. Fucking. Life. I know how to protect myself. I’ve been doing it long enough.” My chest heaved with the weight of my words.