“Cait, what are you hiding?” He reached for me, but I shook him off. “Just talk to me, please. You think I don’t see the shadows in your eyes? You’re hiding something. Tell me. Let me help.”
“I think you’ve done enough.” I averted my gaze, unable to look at him as I wrapped my arms around my waist, holding myself together.
“This isn’t how I wanted it to be. But things are going down that are out of my control. If you leave and DiMarco finds you… the Family won’t risk that. They can’t.”
“I got it,” I hissed. “You don’t trust me.” My eyes locked on his. “Well, you really should have thought about that before bringing me here. I didn’t ask to meet your family, Matt. I didn’t ask you to bring Arabella here. I didn’t ask for anything other than time to figure out what I was going to do next.”
“I’m sorry.” His eyes bored into mine, stripping me bare. “I just wanted to… fuck,” he breathed, “I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
I wasn’t being entirely fair, I knew that. But I’d wanted so much to believe Matteo and his family were different. That I could trust them.
Yet here we were. With an ultimatum hanging between us.
If I didn’t fall into line, if I didn’t agree to be with Matteo, then I would be a prisoner here until DiMarco was no longer a threat.
However long that would be.
A week.
A month.
Two.
I couldn’t stay here for that long. I’d go out of my mind. Especially now that I knew the truth.
Matteo didn’t want me, not really.
He just wanted to make this easier on me. He wanted to ease me into the idea of us. Even if it was all for show.
“I need some space.” I started backing away.
“Cait, please. We need to talk about this.”
“No, we really don’t.” I sniffled, willing myself not to break in front of him more than I already had. “I think I understand everything perfectly.”
“Cait…” he called after me, but I turned on my heel, and didn’t look back.
I should have run when I had the chance. Stupidly, I hadn’t considered when they first brought me here that Luis was here not for my protection—he was here to make sure I didn’t try to escape.
Now, all I could see was him as the guy standing between me and freedom.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted to leave. I had nowhere to go. I had no contacts, no friends across the country where I could pitch up and sleep on their couch for a few nights. All I had was the instinct to survive and do whatever it took to stay under the radar.
DiMarco’s had been the perfect place to blend in. Until it wasn’t. If only I hadn’t caught Zander’s eyes, I wouldn’t be here now. I’d still be working the floor, laughing and joking with Shaun while we watched Gisele and Mari work the crowds of hungry men into a frenzy. It wasn’t the dream, but it was something.
It was better than the life I’d spent years running from.
Matteo had left earlier. I’d heard him and Luis talking in hushed voices, only catching the odd word.
Don’t let her out of your sight.
Back to Verona.
Call me if she wants to talk.
Watch her.
I hated it. Hated that I’d become such a burden to them. I didn’t ask for this—I didn’t ask for any of it.
I blamed Enzo. If he had never showed up at my apartment all those weeks ago and given me his number, I never would have ended up here.
No, you probably would have been dead by now.
I inhaled a sharp breath. Like it or not, Enzo and Matteo had saved me that day. They had offered me a lifeline that I couldn’t refuse.
So why had I gotten so angry earlier when Matteo had laid out the truth for me?
He wasn’t a normal guy. His family were one of the most talked about crime families in New England. Of course they weren’t just going to take me in for a couple of weeks, let me find my feet, and then send me on my way with a smile.
They were the mafia for Pete’s sake. You didn’t graciously accept their help free of charge. You earned it. You became indebted for it.
You paid for it.
But I wasn’t for sale, and I most certainly wasn’t about to pretend to be involved with Matteo to get in their good graces.
“Caitlin?” Luis's gruff voice drifted down the hall. “I made risotto.”
“Not hungry,” I yelled back.
“You can’t stay in there forever.” I could almost hear the humor in his voice.
This wasn’t funny.
Nothing about this situation warranted laughter. Not a single thing.
“Watch me,” I mumbled, throwing myself down on the bed. My cell phone vibrated, and I picked it up.
I’m sorry. M xo
Ugh. It would have hurt less if he was a typical asshole jerk who had broken my heart. But Matteo wasn’t a bad guy.
He was just the wrong guy.
Another text came through and I narrowed my eyes.
Is the idea of being with me really that unappealing to you?
Fueled by rage, I texted back.
That’s not the point and you know it…
No, I don’t. Because you refused to talk to me. You think I like this? I don’t… but my hands are tied.
Another one came straight through.
Regardless of what my family wants, this is about you and me. I know you felt it last night, Cait. You can’t deny that we’re good together… I was sure of it eight months ago, I’m even more sure of it now. What are you so scared of?
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Everything.
I was scared of everything.
I thought what we had was real. I thought I could trust you.
I hit send, immediately regretting it. But I was hurt and on the defense. Matteo wasn’t a bad guy, I knew that. Everything was such a mess though. Just when I was about to truly let him in, to give myself to him, he landed me with the ultimatum, reminding me this wasn’t a fairy tale… and he wasn’t my white knight.
Sadly, there were no heroes in this story.
And no happy endings.
Chapter 20
Matteo
“That bad, huh?” Enzo asked me as I lay sprawled on the couch.
“She’s pissed.”
“Are you surprised?” He chuckled.
“Yes… No… Fuck, I don’t know what to think.” Dragging a hand down my face, I let out a heavy sigh. “There’s something between us, E. Something real. I thought… I thought she might be willing to explore that.”
“You blindsided her.”
“Did you know it would go this way when we brought her back to Verona?”
“I knew once Uncle Michele and Al got wind of it, they’d want assurances. You know that’s how it works.”
“Yeah…” I guess I’d just hoped it wouldn’t be like this. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”
“Give her some space. Caitlin has every right to feel betrayed. Let her cool off.”