Which was devastating, considering I knew with certainty that I would never love anyone the way I loved Thane Adair.
“What is it?” Thane asked, frowning.
Realizing my expression might give me away, I shrugged and smiled breezily. “Nothing. I was just wondering if you have a middle name. I noticed on Lewis’s report card that his is Stuart. After your dad, right?”
“Aye. All the living Adair men have Stuart as a middle name.” He gestured to himself. “Thane Tavin Stuart Adair.”
I smiled genuinely this time because it suited him to a tee to have two middle names. “Very distinguished.”
He gave me a mock reproving look. “Lachlan is Lachlan Lennox Stuart Adair. Brodan Bryce Stuart Adair. Arran Alexander Stuart Adair. And Arrochar is Arrochar Vivien Adair after our mother. She was the only one to escape the dreaded double name.”
“So that’s why Lewis and Eilidh only have one middle name?” I had noted that Eilidh’s middle name was Francine, after her mother.
He nodded. “Do you have a middle name?”
I grinned. “I do. And it’s not an easy one to guess.”
“What is it?”
“I’m named after my great-grandmother. As you know, we Penhaligons are of Cornish stock, and I have a very Cornish middle name.” I actually liked it. “It’s Demelza. Regan Demelza Penhaligon.”
Thane considered me for a moment. “It’s beautiful. And it suits you well.”
It seemed like such a random, silly conversation about middle names, but on the back of the feelings I’d been having before it, I was suddenly claustrophobic. Trapped by a future Thane had already determined we would not have together.
I would never stand at an altar and say, “I, Regan Demelza Penhaligon, take thee, Thane Tavin Stuart Adair, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”
And it hurt like a motherfucker.
Like the angel I was beginning to think she was, Arrochar again demonstrated her perfect timing. Her ring tone on Thane’s phone cut through the air. I’d been seconds away from letting my feelings burst forth before she saved me.
Thane frowned at whatever Arro said down the line. “I don’t think that’s a good idea …” he sighed. “I know they do it every year, but I don’t want them out of my sight.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Arro, wait a second.” Thane heaved another sigh as he muted his cell. “Help me find a diplomatic way to tell my sister no.”
I frowned. “To what?”
“Every year, Eilidh and Lewis spend the first weekend in December at Arro’s. They help her put up the Christmas decorations and watch Christmas movies. They love it because she decorates early. Not as early as Robyn, mind you.” He gently judged.
“Hey, we’re sacrificing Thanksgiving by living here, buddy, and that’s when we traditionally put up the tree. It’s just weird to you strange Highlanders. To Americans, it’s perfectly reasonable.”
Thane’s lips twitched with amusement at my defense of my sister, who had decorated their house last weekend. “Fine. But I still don’t want the kids spending a night away from me.”
Honestly, I didn’t either. “Just tell her no.”
“I’m not being unreasonable?”
“Maybe. But you’re their dad. You’re allowed to be.”
He gave me his “I want to kiss you” look, and I had to bite my lip against a pleased smile. Unmuting the phone, he put it to his ear. “I’m sorry, Arro. I’m just not comfortable with it this year … Uh-uh … Mac? … Well, would he be there all night?” He muted the phone again. “She said she can convince Mac to sleep on the couch.”
I nodded, remembering what I thought I might have witnessed the birthday weekend at her house a few weeks ago, wondering if he’d really be sleeping on the couch. Either way, he’d be there, and the rest was none of my business. But it would be really naughty of the Adair siblings if they were simultaneously screwing around with someone complicated and out of their age bracket. Come to think of it, there was the same number of years between Arro and Mac as between me and Thane. Huh. Okay.
Jesus, Mac had Robyn so young.
“Regan?”
“Hmm?” I blinked out of my wayward thoughts.
“What do you think? About Mac?”
“Uh. Yeah, I think that works.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Thane considered it a moment and then put the phone back to his ear. “All right, then.” He scowled, and I heard her voice rise a little on the other end of the line. “I’m not being sexist … no, it’s not that … If you’d said Robyn was staying with you, I would have agreed to it then too. It’s not about being a man, Arro.”
“It’s about being a badass,” I murmured. Because let’s face it, my sister was a badass.
“Exactly,” Thane agreed with me. “No, I was talking to Regan … Yes, she agrees … Arro, I love you, but I’m tired and I don’t want to argue over semantics. Eilidh and Lewis can stay with you if Mac is there, and I don’t care if that makes me an arsehole. All I care about is feeling comfortable with the idea of my children staying somewhere not under my roof. Mac’s presence makes me comfortable.” His expression softened. “Thank you … yeah … I’ll drop them off … or you can pick them up … Yeah, that’s fine … Good … okay … yeah… love you too.” He hung up and gave me a look. “Sisters.”
I grinned. “You wouldn’t change her for the world.”
Thane grunted, but I knew I was right.
THANE
Lowering down to his haunches, Thane pulled Eilidh into his arms and brushed wisps of hair back from her face. “You excited to stay with Aunt Arrochar?”
He just wanted to be certain, now that it was happening, that his children really were fine with being out from under his roof for the first time since McClintock’s attack.
Resilient as ever, Eilidh beamed. “We’re going to put the tree up and bake cookies and watch Santy Claus movies andandand and Aunt Arro says we might watch Nightmare of Christmas this year!”
Understanding she meant The Nightmare Before Christmas, Thane looked up at his sister who was joking around with Lewis. He glanced at Mac who watched him in his usual intense way. Mac Galbraith saw everything. Mac shook his head as if to say, “I won’t let them watch it,” but Thane wanted it clear to Arro.
“Arro,” he said, drawing her attention, “they’re not watching that movie.”
His sister practically pouted. “But it’s my favorite, and surely they’re old enough now. Lachlan let me watch it when I was Eilidh’s age.”
“And then had to let you sleep in his bed that night because you had nightmares.”
She frowned. “I don’t remember that.”
“Well, I do. Another five years.”
“Five years.” She shot Mac a look and whatever she saw in his face, she sighed and turned to Thane. “Five years,” she promised in disappointment.
“But I want to watch it, Daddy.” Eilidh frowned and then gave him the monster voice. “Now.”