MELANIE: I’m not nearly as good as Ami.
BASTIEN: Melanie is a superlative warrior.
SHELDON: But how is that possible? You’re a doctor, not a Second.
MELANIE: Reordon wouldn’t allow me to work with the vampires unless I could defend myself with as much skill as possible. I underwent extensive training in weapons and martial arts.
SHELDON: That. Is. Hot.
BASTIEN: Yes, it is.
SHELDON: I love strong women.
BASTIEN: As do I.
MELANIE: [leans into Bastien’s side]
BASTIEN: [eyes flash a brilliant amber once more]
SHELDON: What just happened?
MELANIE: Bastien can feel the emotions of anyone who touches him and is… reacting to something he felt when I leaned into him.
SHELDON: Oh. Ohhhhh. Gross. He’s turned on, isn’t he?
BASTIEN: Interview’s over.
SHELDON: Hell yes. Melanie, it was nice seeing you again. I have the name of a good psychiatrist if you ever want to have your head examined and find out why you like this guy so much.
BASTIEN: If you don’t want to get an eyeful of my naked ass, I suggest you leave now.
SHELDON: I’m out.
BASTIEN: And remember, this was off the record.
SHELDON: Far off the record. So far off the record that the record can’t even—
BASTIEN: Sheldon!
SHELDON: Right. [hustles out the door]
BASTIEN: [caresses Melanie’s face] I still don’t know what you see in me.
MELANIE: [catches his hand and presses a kiss to his palm] Don’t worry. You will someday.
October 2012
Phantom Shadows Blog Tour
TODD: Thanks for letting me interview you, Cliff.
CLIFF: No problem. I’m just surprised anyone is interested in hearing what I have to say. Vampires aren’t too popular around here.
TODD: Well, after what you did for us recently and what you went through because of it… Let’s just say there are quite a few here at the network who are seeing you differently and would like to know more about you.
CLIFF: Cool.
TODD: So how did you become a vampire?
CLIFF: I wanted to blow off some steam after finals week.
TODD: You went to Duke, right?
CLIFF: Right. It was the end of my junior year. I went to a party with some friends, got drunk off my ass… The next thing I knew, I was sick as hell with what I thought was the worst hangover ever.
TODD: But it wasn’t a hangover. You were transforming.
CLIFF: Yeah.
TODD: Who turned you?
CLIFF: I don’t know with certainty. The glands that form above the fangs of vampires and immortals release a chemical like GHB under the pressure of a bite, so I couldn’t remember a thing. I don’t even remember leaving the party.
TODD: When did you realize it wasn’t a hangover?
CLIFF: When my skin blistered as soon as sunlight touched it. [motions to his brown skin] I’ve never had a sunburn in my life.
TODD: Didn’t the fangs clue you in first?
CLIFF: I didn’t realize the massive toothache I was experiencing was a result of growing fangs. It took a while for them to come in fully.
TODD: What did you do?
CLIFF: I hid what I had become as long as possible and put off feeding until I was almost too weak to get out of bed. There was no way to hide the fact that I couldn’t go to class anymore, so… I had to get out of there.
TODD: And you never met the vamp who turned you?
CLIFF: I met a vamp who claimed he was the one. But he was a sociopath, and I wanted nothing to do with him.
TODD: Sheesh. How did you find Bastien?
CLIFF: [smiles] I didn’t. Bastien found me. He came upon me while I was hunting shortly after I transformed. And from the very beginning, I knew he was a stand-up guy.
TODD: [skeptical] Bastien?
CLIFF: Yes.
TODD: Even after you found out he was raising an army of vampires to defeat the Immortal Guardians?
CLIFF: Dude, the Immortal Guardians were my enemy. They wanted to kill me, no questions asked. I learned very quickly to hide from them. So Bastien’s plan to eradicate them made joining him and his army all the more appealing.
TODD: And how was living with his army?
CLIFF: Better than being on my own, that’s for sure. Whatever else you might think, Bastien was trying to help us. Every single one of us was sane when he recruited us and he did everything he could to keep us that way.
TODD: Vampires descend into madness pretty quickly. How did you like having madmen for roommates?
CLIFF: Bastien kept that crap in check. Immortal Guardians may not fear him, but vampires sure as hell did. Any vampire who went berserk and harmed another vampire or preyed upon an innocent human was very swiftly and harshly punished, if not annihilated.
TODD: [stares] Bastien killed some of the vampires in his army?
CLIFF: He had little choice.
TODD: I didn’t know that.
CLIFF: Few do. All they know or care about is that he killed an Immortal Guardian a long time ago and intended to kill many more.
TODD: That’s… pretty hard to forget. Or forgive.
CLIFF: [shrugs] Dr. Lipton didn’t have a problem with it.
TODD: [frowns] Honestly, I don’t know what she sees in him.
CLIFF: What you and the others don’t. Or won’t.
TODD: Did you know before the rest of us that she was attracted to him?
CLIFF: Of course. She couldn’t take her eyes off him.
TODD: And the feeling was mutual.
CLIFF: [nods and smiles] It was actually pretty entertaining. Bastien kept coincidentally visiting whenever Dr. Lipton was working with us. He tried to appear as though his only interest was in how she was trying to help us, but… his eyes gave him away.
TODD: If you’re going to tell me he gazed at her with a sappy, lovesick expression…
CLIFF: [laughs and shakes his head] Our eyes glow whenever we experience strong emotion.
TODD: I don’t—
CLIFF: She turns him on. Big time. His eyes kept flashing bright amber whenever he was around her, and he had a hell of a time hiding it.
TODD: [grimaces] That’s more information than I needed to know.
CLIFF: Look, I get why you and the others are pissed at him. But Bastien isn’t what you all think he is. Do you honestly think Dr. Lipton would love him if he were?
TODD: Considering how brilliant she is, I would think not, but…
CLIFF: If Bastien were the bastard you think him, he would have told everyone about that disastrous night you had with Cynthia last month and had a big laugh over it.
TODD: [stares] What?
CLIFF: You know, the night you decided to spice things up in the bedroom with a little role-playing and… Wow. Your face just got really red. You aren’t having a stroke, are you?
TODD: How did you know about that?
CLIFF: Our hearing is extremely acute, and these walls aren’t soundproofed. Bastien and I heard you pour the whole humiliating story out to Derek.
TODD: Bastien knows?
CLIFF: Yes. And… a musketeer? Really? In what reality did you think that would be hot?
TODD: She reads historical romance novels! I thought she would think it dashing! [grimaces] And I didn’t know the boots would be so squeaky.
CLIFF: [lips twitch] Or that you would fumble the sword and—
TODD: Okay, in my defense, I’m used to wielding guns, not fencing foils. And if the feather and that big-ass hat brim hadn’t blocked my vision…