It would probably cost more money to keep Debra in Seattle. Jack knew that. And along with his house falling apart, and the continually terrible salmon catches, he wouldn't have much left over. Certainly not enough to fund Gwen's restaurant.
Jack was supposed to go to Gwen's that evening. He considered canceling, but he was too weak. He needed her. He didn't know if he'd talk about everything that was happening. There was so much shame wrapped up in it, as if his mom had infected him with her madness.
But before he drove to Gwen's, he called his mom finally.
"I'll give you the money," said Jack. "But only if you agree to go to treatment first."
Gwen couldn't hide her excitement when Jack arrived. Not just because he was coming over, but because she and Jocelyn had finished the business plan for the restaurant.
"I want you to look over it," she said, handing Jack a stack of papers that were still warm from the printer.
"I'm not a writer." He took the papers but didn't seem inclined to look at them.
Jack had seemed subdued since he'd stepped inside her doorway. Despite asking him more than once if something was bothering him, he'd said he was fine. Just tired.
"Well, you still might see something we missed. At the very least, it'd be nice to hear if you think the concept makes sense," said Gwen.
"It's a restaurant. What's there to explain?"
Gwen was in the middle of pouring them both some hot cider she'd purchased at the festival a few weeks ago. She nearly spilled some of it on her hand when she looked up at Jack in surprise.
"What crawled up your butt and died?" Gwen shot back.
"I told you: I'm tired."
Now they were both staring at each other, both annoyed with the other person. This was not how Gwen envisioned this evening. She expected Jack to look through the business plan, exclaim over what an amazing idea it was, and then he'd make love to her all night long.
So much for that fantasy, thought Gwen.
"What is going on with you? You've been a total grump since you walked in," said Gwen.
Jack's jaw tightened. He still held the papers and ended up crumpling them in the middle, probably not even realizing he was doing it.
Instead of answering her question, he went and sat down on her couch and began reading. She stared at the back of his head, halfway tempted to throw something at him. But she quelled the childish impulse and instead brought him a mug of cider.
If she refrained from adding whipped cream to his, well, he could get that himself if he wanted it.
Jack didn't comment on the lack of whipped cream. He barely even touched the cider, letting it go cold as he read through the business plan.
Gwen's heart pounded in anticipation. It'd been a lot of work to put the plan together, especially with Jocelyn feeling the need to edit every little detail. Gwen had appreciated the input, especially the nitty-gritty of how a restaurant worked. Jocelyn, though, tended to refuse to compromise on the small things if she was certain she was right.
When Gwen hadn't included a ten-year forecast for potential profits, instead sticking with a five-year forecast, Jocelyn had balked. When Gwen had written that the restaurant would be "American comfort food with a twist," Jocelyn had told Gwen point-blank that the description basically meant that they were opening an expensive Denny's.
Jack said nothing as he read. When he turned over the last page, he leaned back, his forehead furrowed.
"The menu is too large," he said finally.
"It's only twenty items."
Jack shook his head. "It's all over the place. Pizzas, pasta, tacos, and then risotto and..." He found the page with the menu on it. "Arugula salad with Ahi tuna, crumbled chèvre, and roasted dates." His expression was wry now. "Are you seriously going to be roasting dates?"
Gwen took the page from Jack. "I didn't push back on the menu. Jocelyn is the chef, after all."
"Sure, but she's not going to be the owner. You are. You get the final say on everything. Even the menu."
"Jocelyn isn't going to like hearing that."
"She'll live. If she wants to keep the gig, she'll get over it."
Gwen smiled, shaking her head. "I already had some ideas about the menu. I'll talk to Jocelyn about them tomorrow."
"How pissed is she gonna be?"
"Oh, she'll probably tell me to go to hell. I'm not looking forward to it." Gwen sighed deeply. "She and Alex have been butting heads lately. Alex was upset with me because she thought Jocelyn was stealing me."
Jack looked bewildered. "Stealing you? Like kidnapping you?"
"No, stealing me as a friend."
"You can't have more than one friend?" Now he really sounded confused.
Gwen laughed at his expression. "I can. It's just that these two sisters don't get along so well. Alex has been my friend for longer. It was a whole thing during the cider festival. I think Alex is still waiting for me to start picking Jocelyn over her."
"Sounds fucking stupid."
"I know! It's middle-school stuff. I'm way too old for this. And Alex knows it, too. She said she knows she's been stupid but there's a history there. Then when I try to get her to explain, she clams up."
"Stupid," was Jack's only response.
Gwen knew the situation between the Gray sisters had more nuance to it. Alex could be flighty and impulsive, but she was loyal and thoughtful, too. If she couldn't explain why she felt so triggered by Jocelyn becoming Gwen's friend, there must be a good reason for it.
"Now you're going to think we're all just a bunch of silly women," said Gwen.
Jack raised a dark eyebrow. "Why should I?"
"Because that's what it sounds like."
Shrugging, he replied, "Everybody has their shit. Some people are better at hiding it than others."
His gaze seemed to go to a faraway place. Gwen once again wondered what was hanging over him. Weren't they friends, too? Why did he feel like he couldn't be honest with her?
She couldn't help but feel hurt at his lack of trust in her. Did he think she'd judge him? Or worse, that she wouldn't keep his secrets?
"Do guys ever have these kinds of fights?" said Gwen.
"Nah. We just punch each other." Jack drank some of his cider finally. "Way healthier."
Gwen giggled. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. He tasted of apples and cinnamon. When he deepened the kiss, she let herself float away, releasing all the jumbled thoughts inside her head.
They kissed for a long time. The cider was soon forgotten entirely, Gwen's whipped cream melting into the drink a while ago.
"This affair or whatever it is that we're doing," said Gwen during a moment between kisses, "has probably been the best thing in my life right now. You make me happy, Jack Benson."
Jack looked like she'd slapped him. His gaze skirted away, which made her wish she'd kept her mouth shut.
"Not sure I deserve a compliment like that," he admitted.
"Even if you don't deserve it, I'm giving it to you anyway. So take it and enjoy it."
He placed a stray curl behind her ear. "I wish I could give you everything you deserve."