"You do know." Gwen leaned forward. "Why would he not want anyone to know, though?"
"Who the fuck knows. It's Jack. He keeps to himself. He doesn't like to ask for help. It was like pulling teeth to get him to tell me anything. He just shows up at my place, telling me he wants me to buy his boat—"
"His boat? He sold his boat?"
"He did. Not to me, though. I don't need a fishing boat. The hell am I going to do with that? But I gave him some names of people who I knew would want it. But before I did, I made him tell me why he was selling it in the first place."
Gwen wanted to cry. Jack had sold his beloved boat, the thing he needed to make a living, and she couldn't figure out why. It also told her that he had zero intention of returning to Hazel Island.
"Did he tell you, then?" she asked.
"All he'd say was that he needed to get off the island. Some kind of family issue. That was it."
"You're telling me everything? You're not keeping something else secret?"
Luke spread his hands. "I know nothing else. I wasn't supposed to tell you especially. He made me swear it." Luke looked heavenward. "If he finds out I blabbed, he'd kill me."
"Where did he go?"
"He didn't say, but I do remember him mentioning that he had family in Seattle. Make of that what you will."
Gwen's palms were sweaty. But as she thought about all of this, she realized that it didn't really matter. At least, not as it related to their friendship. Jack had essentially cut all ties with Hazel Island with one fell swoop.
If that wasn't a sign that he didn't want to see her ever again, she didn't know what it was.
"You know," said Luke slowly, "I don't think I've ever seen Jack as agitated as he was when he wanted to sell his boat. He just kept saying, 'don't tell Gwen.' It was strange."
"It's because I ruined everything." Gwen's voice was hollow. "I told him I loved him, but he didn't feel the same. Then he left."
Luke looked at her as if she'd sprouted horns. "You said that to him?"
"Yeah. You don't have to look so horrified."
Suddenly getting up from his chair, Luke began to pace. "I'm such an idiot," he was muttering to himself. "I should've known."
"What? You should've known what?"
Luke turned to face her. "Before he left, he made sure to give me a check for ten thousand dollars. He specified it was to match the funding he'd promised you." Luke pulled out an envelope that he'd folded and placed in his jacket pocket. "Actually, I was planning to tell you when I got here, but then you distracted me."
Gwen couldn't breathe. "He sold his boat for me," she whispered.
"Looks that way."
"But why would he leave without telling me? I don't understand."
Luke pulled at his collar. If Gwen weren't so confused and distressed, she'd laugh at how awkward he seemed. "Look, I'm not about to give you any relationship advice. That's not my area of expertise. But anybody with eyeballs could see that Jack cared—cares—about you. Probably more than he'll ever admit."
"You really mean that?" Gwen felt tears well up in her eyes.
"Wouldn't have said it otherwise." Luke handed her the envelope with the check. "I told Jack he should give this to you himself, but he's a stubborn bastard. You know that well."
She couldn't help but inhale the scent of the envelope, as if she could catch a hint of Jack on it. She then held it to her heart.
"I need to find Jack," she said. "Will you help me?"
Luke sighed. "I was afraid you were going to ask me that."
Chapter Twenty-One
Jack stared up at the Christmas tree covered in lights. It was a cold, but clear night. It'd snowed about an inch earlier in the day, and it still covered the ground under the tree. It almost made Jack feel festive, if he were the type of person to celebrate holidays.
Jack liked coming to this park. It wasn't usually very busy despite being in the middle of Seattle. Usually only old folks from the assisted living complex down the street would be in the park. Occasionally, Jack would see moms pushing strollers, or singletons dragging their tiny dogs on a leash.
But in the evenings, after the sun had set, were the best times to come here. Hardly anyone was around, except for a few homeless people who slept on benches. Jack sometimes gave them cash, or food, if they wanted some. Most of the people sleeping in the park he only saw once or twice before they moved on to another spot.
One of the regulars nodded at Jack when he passed by. Ronny was his name. Jack had asked him if he'd wanted coffee, and he'd replied that he'd rather have some cigarettes. "Don't need anything to keep me awake any longer than I need to be," Ronny had said with a toothy smile.
"You have any smokes?" Ronny called out.
"I don't smoke," said Jack, approaching the man.
Ronny clucked his tongue, pulling a ratty blanket around himself. "Forgot about that. I smoked that entire pack you gave me in two days. Told myself I'd let it last." Ronny shrugged. "Told myself the same thing last week when I bought myself a twelve-pack of beers. Whoops."
"You need anything else? Are you hungry?" said Jack.
"Nah. I'm good, man." Ronny peered up at Jack, assessing him. "You come here a lot, don't you?"
"I think you're here more than I am."
Ronny chuckled. "True. Been here for a few months now. I'm a regular, practically."
Jack had offered to take Ronny to a shelter or even put him up in a hotel room, but Ronny had refused. Ronny didn't like charity—at least not beyond getting a packet of cigarettes. Jack hated the thought of him spending the night outside in the cold. But he couldn't force Ronny inside.
Besides, Ronny had told him that staying in the shelters was worse than sleeping outside. "It's like a fucking prison," Ronny had spat. "Never going back to one of those."
Jack had been in Seattle for a few weeks now. After he'd packed up and left Hazel Island, he'd gone to his mom's place and had helped her find a new place to live. He'd gotten his own place a few blocks away from her. Despite getting a decent job down at the shipyards, Jack knew it'd take him years to rebuild the savings he'd burned through in the last few months.
"You're not from around here, are you?" asked Ronny.
"I grew up in the city, but I haven't lived here in years. I was living on Hazel Island."
"Never been there. Heard it's nice. Why'd you leave?"
I left a woman behind because I wasn't good enough for her. I broke a promise. I'm a failure.
Jack wasn't sure which explanation he should go with. So instead, he replied, "I moved back because of family."
"A girl?" Ronny looked him up and down. "Or for a boy. Dunno what you're into."
Jack's lips twitched. "No, it wasn't because of a woman. I'm helping out my mom."
"You single?"
"Why? You interested?"