Especially considering what I’d been doing to her in my head.
Chapter Sixteen
Amelia
Jack offered to cook me dinner in exchange for enduring the dojo debacle. “My specialty is spaghetti and garlic bread, both of which are prepared with mediocre attention to detail and little understanding of what makes a good meal. As long as you don’t expect a culinary masterpiece, we should be okay.”
I shifted on the couch, throwing an arm over the back as I tossed him a grin. “With a sales pitch like that, who could resist?”
“The company’s pretty dang good, though.” He shoved his hands into his pocket and hit me with a look that threatened to set me on fire. Confident and cocky, yet gentle and genuine, with a masculinity that made me want to jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist.
Rein it in, Amelia. A little restraint goes a long way.
Unfortunately, that thought had me thinking of ‘restraint’ in a very sexy way and it was everything I could do to focus on something family friendly.
The kids headed to their rooms, leaving Jack and me alone. I stood, closing the space between us because our gravity demanded less distance. The threads of chemistry connecting us had been stretched taut and everything felt better with that tension eased. He cupped my cheek and I leaned into his touch.
“Thank you for standing up for them. For me.”
I met his eyes and tumbled into the intricate dance of blue upon blue. “I meant everything I said.”
Jack’s lips brushed mine, delicate. He was holding back, though energy and want seethed beneath the surface. Our bodies urged us to go further but we couldn’t give in. Not with the kids just down the hall.
Promise hung in the air between us. A certainty. A knowing.
Once we started, there’d be no stopping.
Dinner passed with quiet conversation, laughter, and jokes. Throughout it all, desire multiplied between Jack and me, as constant as waves beating the shore while a storm raged at sea. Landfall was eminent.
The secret brushes of his hand against my leg. The graze of his fingers on my arm, my back, my shoulder. The sound of his laughter as it rumbled in his chest. The scent of his cologne as he leaned close to deliver a punchline. The glint in his eyes when he teased the kids that sparked into desire when he looked at me.
His eyes caressed me and the heat in those smoldering blues made it difficult to concentrate on anything but Jack…
…Jack…
…Jack.
When we finished dinner, the five of us carried our dishes into the kitchen and Jack turned to the kids. “Why don’t you three start baths while Amelia and I clean up in here.” They scampered down the hall and he called after them, “Keep the water in the tub this time!”
A chorus of giggling agreement followed, and he peeked through the doorway before pulling me into his arms and kissing me deeply. “Fucking hell, Amelia. I didn’t think I’d make it through dinner without doing that.” He kissed me again, like a man remembering how to breathe, how to feel. “You’re smart and funny and sexy as all get out…”
I ran my hands up his back, mussing with the curls at the nape of his neck. “Feel free to keep going. I will happily listen to you compliment me all night long.”
“Careful now.” Jack nipped at my lip. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“How cute of you to think that.” I gripped his shirt and pulled him close, kissing him with enough passion to show him what else I’d like to do all night long.
Something that included a little less clothing…
He slipped a hand under my shirt, sliding up…up…
The sound of the tub reminded us we weren’t alone. We froze, then sighed in unison, and stepped apart.
Jack grabbed the nearest plate and ran it under the water. It looked like he was wrestling with a thought but kept swallowing it back. Finally, he put the plate down and turned to me. “For the last couple months, everyone’s been trying to set me up with someone.”
He paused there and I couldn’t read his expression. Considering where his hands had been just a few minutes ago, he looked too serious. “That had to be annoying.”
“More than you can imagine. Dating? Starting a relationship? Just too much work. More than it was worth.” His eyes hit mine and he smiled. “But I really like being with you.”
“Well good. I like being with you, too.”
He turned and leaned his hips on the counter, gripping the edge in his hands. “Even when everything’s normal, there’s a lot that goes into a relationship, you know? Building trust. Accepting vulnerability. But I have the kids to think about. If they got attached to someone I was dating only for it to not work out?” He shook his head, his gaze clouded with worry. “After losing Natalie, I never thought I’d want to go through any of that again, and I couldn’t fathom putting my children through it again.”
I frowned. The last thing I wanted was to complicate Jack’s already complicated life. “What about now? Did you find yourself prepared all of the sudden?”
“No,” he said with a laugh. “But I don’t seem to have much choice. I’m drawn to you, Amelia. Your hair. Your smile. Your laughter. Even the crazy way you have of spinning everything into something good.” He took my hand and drew lazy circles on my knuckle with his thumb.
I smiled up at him. “For the record, there’s nothing crazy in focusing on the positive. It’s necessary if you want to get through life with a shred of happiness left. Every challenge, every hardship, they all have lessons hidden inside. As much as it sucks going through it, the faster you learn, the faster you grow. That’s a good thing, you know? Life is all about growth. Like, never stop striving for more knowledge.”
“Not everyone sees it that way.”
I started to protest, but Jack put a finger over my lips.
“But they should. I never would have seen losing my wife as not a bad thing. Never. I would have spent a lifetime mourning her and wondering what I’d done to deserve such a kick to the balls right when things seemed good. But, in the last few weeks, I’ve realized a lot. I’ve come to terms with who I am as a father, where I’ve been letting the kids down and how I’ve been getting it right. I still miss her. I still mourn her. But…” He shrugged, his eyes brimming with emotion. “I’m realizing I can live without her.”
We were in deep waters. Murky and clouded and I couldn’t be sure of my footing.
“I have no intention of trying to take Natalie’s place.” I spoke quietly, my eyes searching his.
“I never thought you did.” Jack sighed, dragging a hand over his face. “I’m sorry if I said too much…made it awkward by talking about my wife…I just haven’t had a chance to talk to anyone about any of this. I’ve been carrying it all around with me…”
His frown drew deep lines across his face.
“Jack.” I stepped into his arms, putting a hand over his heart. “I can’t imagine the weight you’ve been bearing. I’m honored to listen. You loved her. Had a life with her. You and me? We’ve gone on one date and made out a couple times.”