Everything was going fine until Amelia shifted, awakening the beast just in time for her forearm to brush it. Her eyes went wide as she turned to me.
“Now what have we here?” she asked, her whispered voice lost under the screech and howl of the characters onscreen.
“Something that is very, very interested in your attention,” I whispered back.
Her eyes glimmered with promise, but she very deliberately removed her hand from under the blanket to fish in the popcorn bowl for a bite. “After what happened out there,” she said with a jerk of her head toward the porch, “maybe it’s better to keep things as kosher as possible while the kids are around.”
I nodded. “I agree. I hate it, but I agree.”
The movie ended, and I scooped a sleeping Charlie into my arms and carried her to her room, the boys trailing behind. With my girl safely tucked in, I stopped in Connor’s room to kiss his head and say goodnight, then found Garrett sitting up in bed, waiting for me. He picked at his comforter as I came in, his gaze on his hands.
I perched beside him, the mattress springing under my weight. “Looks like something’s bothering you, my friend. Feel like sharing?”
His eyes locked with mine. “Are you going to marry Amelia?”
“Marry…?” Where in the world did that come from? “No, Garrett. We aren’t getting married.”
“Then why were you kissing her?”
Ahhh. Of course. That was where it came from. “We’re…well…we like each other…and that’s what men and women do sometimes… When they like each other.”
Smooth, Cooper. Real smooth. I ran my hand over my mouth to give myself a chance to gather my thoughts.
When I’d thought about dating, I assumed I’d have some warning we were getting serious, which meant time to prepare how to broach the topic with the kids. I figured I’d sit down and map it all out—almost like preparing my clients’ accounts for tax day. Complicated, but with careful planning and attention to detail. This whole thing with Amelia ambushed me. I was in no way prepared to explain this stuff to my son. Not now. Not on the fly.
“And that’s all? You like each other and you kissed her and that’s all?” Garrett’s eyes seethed with turmoil and questions. He didn’t believe me. Not for one second.
“I mean, for now. I’m not looking to replace Mom, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
My son’s gaze met mine and never in my life had I wanted a decoder ring as much as I did in that moment. Natalie always had a way of just knowing. Meanwhile, I was lost at sea. I had no clue what he was thinking. No clue what he was feeling. “You like Amelia, don’t you?”
He nodded slowly. “She’s fun.”
“She is fun. And I think we all deserve some fun right now.” I waited for him to say anything else, but we’d apparently reached the end of what he was willing to share. “Feel like an old-school Dad and Garret bedtime tuck-in?”
Garrett nodded again and I picked him up like I used to when he was just a little nugget, pulled back his covers, crash landed him into his pillows, then tossed the blankets haphazardly over his head. “Goodnight, my boy.”
He peeked his eyes out from under the covers and smiled. “’Night, Dad.”
The anxiety clinging to my neck and shoulders faded as I flipped off the light and shut his door. When I came back into the living room, I found Amelia curled up on the couch.
“Everything good in the ‘hood?”
“You know? I think I can say for the first time that yes. Everything is good. Like, very good.” I sat beside her and lifted an arm, inviting her to snuggle in. “Garrett needed a little reassuring, but considering how difficult he’s been in the past, it was nothing.”
Amelia tucked herself under my arm, snuggling into my chest. “That awful lady at the dojo called the kids monsters. I was so offended on their behalf. I mean, sure, they can get a little out of hand sometimes, but monsters?” She lifted her eyes to mine. “That’s too far.”
“They’ve come a long way in the last year or so. Right after Natalie passed? I hate to say it, but they were kind of monsters.”
I let out a long sigh, then rested my cheek on her head. Those first months had been so hard. Not only had I lost my wife, but it felt like I was losing my kids, too.
“Garrett started getting in trouble at school,” I said, my words brushing past her hair. “He’d never been one to so much as look at someone the wrong way without feeling guilty, but his anger switch got flipped and there was no turning back. Some kid asked too many questions about losing his mom and he snapped. Got suspended for a day. A week later, it happened again. He lost a lot of friends after that. Connor…he just pulled inwards and basically stopped functioning. The kids in their karate class started calling him stupid, so Garrett lost it. He sat on one kid’s chest and just walloped him. It’s why Charlie’s the only one still enrolled. That day was the day I realized something needed to change. It was the day I decided to put the kids first in all things, even if it meant waking up two hours early to make them pancakes and do Charlie’s hair before work.”
“I had no idea.” Amelia sat up, peering through the door towards the bedrooms. “They really have come a long way, then. I couldn’t imagine any of them behaving like that now.” She turned to me. “You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”
“I am. I’m proud of all of us. That’s the thing about reputations, though. They’re hard to shake. You talk about the Cooper kids to anyone in Wildrose and they’re gonna react like you’re discussing convicted murderers.” I shrugged. “Eventually, people will find something else to talk about, especially if the kids keep improving the way they have with you. You’re really good for them, so you know, maybe by the time they have grandkids the gossip will die down.”
She smiled, twisting in my arms to see my face. “I’m glad I’m a good influence.”
“You’re really good for me, too.”
I cupped her cheek and leaned in, slowly, delicately, stopping with my lips hovering just over hers. Expectation filled the air around us. A sense of significance. If we crossed this line, there would be no going back. No laughing off our relationship as something as simple as making out a few times. If I closed the gap between us, I would be closing the door on my past and opening it on my future, on my kids’ futures—and Amelia would be there with us.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready for this.” Her lips brushed mine as she spoke, her voice as light as a whisper, yet heavy with meaning. “I understand if it’s too much.”
“It’s…” I searched for words to explain that yes, it was too much and I wasn’t ready, but I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more. Language was too coarse a tool to communicate everything in my head and heart.
So I used the only tool strong enough to say what I meant.
I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her.
Chapter Nineteen
Amelia
Jack’s kiss said it all. His hand on my cheek, so gentle, so light, while his lips were fire, hungry to devour all I had to offer. Our tongues dipped and darted. Greedy. Needy, yet oh so careful.