All night long, B played her game, grinding on Ethan in front of me like I didn’t know what she was doing. I just let Jenna hold my attention, let her think I was just as interested as she was in rekindling what we had for one night of fun. Truthfully, I was about five minutes away from saying I needed to piss and then escaping the party altogether.
I was exhausted — both from lack of sleep and the utter fucking ridiculousness of the game.
But I couldn’t leave B, not with her continuing to drink when she’d clearly had enough. I was worried about her. I wanted to peel her away from the party, too. I wanted to get her alone.
I just didn’t know how.
I was in a daze, half-listening to Jenna when I realized there was some sort of commotion going on across the bonfire.
My eyes landed on B just in time to see B rip her arm out of Ethan’s grip, her brows furrowed, eyes menacing.
“What, afraid I’ll damage your perfect reputation before election?”
Shit.
Jenna and I exchanged a look, and I stood without her saying a word, knowing I needed to step in and save B from herself.
“It was embarrassing to kiss me earlier, guess it’d really be embarrassing if I took my clothes off,” she said as I made my way over. And then, she stripped her sweater off, revealing a thin tank top underneath.
I cursed.
“Okay, come on. We’re leaving,” Ethan said, trying to grab her.
“You can go if you want. I’m not ready to leave.”
“That wasn’t a request.”
“And mine wasn’t a suggestion.”
“Damnit, Brecks!”
I stopped mid-stride, heart beating in my ears at the sound of that name that didn’t feel like a name at all. And I saw all the blood drain from B’s face, saw her eyes widen and well up with tears.
“You’re not getting in that pool,” Ethan said, oblivious to what he’d just done. “End of story.”
B stared at him like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to murder him right then and there, or run away before she started crying in front of everyone.
“B…” I said softly, holding out my hands for her. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”
It was like she snapped out of a daze when she looked at me, but she scowled just as quickly.
“I can walk myself,” she spat.
She swiped her sweater and boots off the ground, already storming toward the parking lot as Ethan just stood there.
I waited for him to go after her, and when he didn’t, I shook my head.
“You know she doesn’t go by that name,” I said, voice low and more menacing than I intended. “And you know damn well why, too.”
Ethan shook his head. “I didn’t mean to upset her. But come on, you saw her. She—”
“Is drunk. Yes, I know. Which is even more reason why you should be taking care of her, not being a fucking asshole.”
Ethan narrowed his eyes then. “Bro, what the fuck.”
But I had already turned away from him, jogging after the girl he was stupid enough to let go.
“Go away, Jamie,” B threw over her shoulder at me when I caught up to her, the darkness of the parking lot falling over us.
I gritted my teeth.
“What? Nothing to say now?”
“I said go away.”
“Oh, come on,” I challenged, hot on her heels. “You’ve been doing your damnedest to get my attention all night. Well, you’ve got it.”
She scoffed. “Contrary to your belief that the world revolves around you, Jamie, you were the last thing on my mind tonight.”
“Bullshit.”
She spun to face me then, seething. “Just leave me alone! Go back to Jenna and give her the Tour de Jamie’s Bedroom. I’ve heard it’s quite the tourist spot on campus.”
And that did it.
I’d had efuckingnough.
“Damnit, B!” I yelled, slamming my palm against a nearby truck. “What the hell do you want from me? You give yourself to me after all this time, and then treat me like scum the next fucking day, saying it was a mistake and didn’t matter to you.”
My chest heaved, emotion surging through me like a tidal wave.
“But then, you act like a goddamn fool when you see me with your best friend?”
I stepped into her then, desperate for her to see.
“You think I slept with Tina? I didn’t. She’s in my class, nothing more. You think that night didn’t matter to me? It did. It’s all I’ve thought about since,” I confessed, my voice breaking.
B swallowed, her lips trembling as I moved in even closer.
“You think it doesn’t kill me to see Ethan’s hands on you? It does. It fucking murders me.”
I panted, shaking my head.
“You think what happened between us wasn’t real? It was.” My eyes fell to her lips then, those plump, trembling lips that belonged to me. “And it still is.”
I descended on her, catching her gasp with a hard kiss as I pressed her into the truck. She relented only a moment before her hands found my chest and she shoved, hard.
I stumbled back, the two of us watching each other with heaving chests like wild fucking animals.
And then, she launched for me.
Her mouth found mine, eager and desperate, and she clutched at my sweater as I lifted her. I pinned her against the truck, kissing down her neck, sucking on her collarbone, branding every piece of skin she had just in case she ever thought to forget again. When I found the swell of her breast over her tank top, she hissed, moaning and leaning into the touch.
“Stop,” she breathed, and I groaned at the game, at how hot it was even now. My hand dipped under her tank top and B whimpered, breathing hard into my mouth as I slid my tongue inside her mouth.
But then, she shoved me back again.
“Stop!”
I swallowed.
“We can’t do this.”
“Why not?” I panted.
“B?”
I whipped around to find Jenna staring at us, her eyes narrowed and somehow wild at the same time.
She crossed her arms, gaze bouncing between the two of us. “What the fuck is going on?”
I let out a long breath through my nose, suppressing a curse.
“Come on, Jenna,” B said. “Let’s go.”
And then, she grabbed Jenna’s hand and left me there.
Had I known then what I know now, what would happen next, I would have stopped her. I would have told Jenna to fuck off and carried B back to my bed. I would have spent every last precious minute with her between my sheets before our world came crashing down.
But I didn’t know.
I thought she needed space. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her go.
The next morning, I learned just how cruel life could be.
• • •
Jenna was the one who called me.
She was frantic, telling me between sniffs and sobs of her own what had happened to B’s dad the following afternoon. I was already getting dressed, already pulling on my sneakers as she continued.
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know,” Jenna said. “Her mom called her this morning, and for a long time she just laid in bed and cried. Then, she asked me to start packing her things. She… she grabbed her board and called a cab until she found one who would take her with it.”