The boldness of that question shocked me still.
“Seems to me like it’s always been us and other people.”
I swallowed, tracing the edges of the shadows battling with the moonlight on her face.
She was right.
First, it was Jenna. Now, Ethan.
But I was tired of letting other people stand in our way.
“It’s just us right now,” I said, voice low.
“Jamie…”
“You said you could never lie to me,” I whispered, heart pounding in my chest as the air seemed to come alive around us, like the earth couldn’t help but buzz with anticipation, too.
“I couldn’t.”
“So then tell me, B,” I said, reaching out for her. I grabbed her wrists in my hands, gentle — yet firm — and tugged her closer. “Is it Ethan scared of you being alone with me, or is it you who’s afraid?”
The muscles of my jaw were tight and strained as I watched her, those wide eyes, those parted lips…
Answer me, I pleaded with my gaze.
“Both.”
Her admission was soft, but it stroked the fire already burning inside me.
I licked my lips. “Why?”
“Because I don’t trust myself when I’m with you.”
I squeezed my eyes tight at finally hearing it, at knowing she felt the same. I blew out a hard breath through my nose, my right hand dropping hers and running up her arm before sliding to her neck. I felt along every inch of her skin, breathing smoke the whole way.
When my eyes opened again, it was like seeing her for the first time.
I leaned in closer, and B backed away, farther and farther until she was on her ass and I was on my knees in front of her, invading her space.
“Would you be mad if I kissed you right now?”
“Yes,” she breathed, the lie thinly veiled.
“Then I hope you’ll forgive me later.”
I closed the distance then, catching her rebuttal with a sweep of my tongue against hers. She gasped at the touch, pushing up on her knees to meet me, and I groaned at the way that gasp elicited something primal deep inside me.
My hands slid under her sweater, gripping onto her waist and holding on for dear life. And my theory that her saying she’d be mad if I kissed her was a lie was proven when she started tugging at my hoodie, her fingers clutching the fabric and pulling me closer.
I broke our kiss, trailing my teeth and tongue down the length of her neck, loving the taste of her. My hands moved up of their own volition, and when my thumbs brushed the lacy bottom of her bra, B hissed.
My cock twitched in my sweatpants, eager and impatient, and when I traced the edges of her bra and she arched into the touch, I had to fight against every urge in my body to keep moving slow.
I spun her away from me, holding her hips steady as she lost her balance. I wanted her facing the waves. I wanted the ocean — our ocean — to have a front-row view to me driving my little surfer girl wild.
She leaned back into me, and I kissed her neck, biting down softly as our conversation in the snake garden came flashing back to me.
“Is this the passion you’ve been missing? The urgency?” I asked, smirking at the chills that broke on her skin, and I sucked her earlobe into my mouth. I hooked my thumbs under her bra, realizing taking it off would take too long, and I’d waited long enough to touch her.
I pushed it up enough to let her breasts spring free, and they were the perfect size, fitting into my palms like they were always meant to be there.
I hummed my approval as I rolled each nipple, pinching softly. B arched into me, her ass rubbing against my hard-on and making my next breath hard to grasp.
“Because I can’t fathom taking my hands off you right now,” I told her, remembering that was what she wanted, what she needed.
If only she knew I’d felt that way about her for years.
I snaked a hand into her hair, tugging back until I could capture her mouth with mine. I wanted to consume every moan she let out, wanted to taste it and savor it and commit it to memory. She moaned even louder when my other hand slid down her lean stomach, and I dipped under the band of her boy shorts and sweatpants in one swift push, smirking when she bucked against the touch.
She writhed and whimpered when I dove my hand down deeper before pulling it out again, back up to her breasts. I wanted to tease her, but my girl was impatient, too.
She grabbed my hand and forced it back down.
I smiled against her mouth, biting her bottom lip and granting her wish.
The moment I slipped my fingers between her thighs, we both moaned.
“Oh fuck,” I breathed, cock aching at how wet she was. I slid my finger between her lips, pressing the middle one just an inch inside her. Her hands reached back for me, her nails digging into my legs as I withdrew that finger and pressed it in again, a little deeper.
I took my time, slowly moving my finger in and out, deeper and deeper each time. When I added a second finger, B broke our kiss, crying out and leaning into me even more.
“Shhh,” I warned, the hand I had holding her hair moved to her mouth, instead. She bit down on my fingers, and I didn’t have time to tease her about it before she slid her hand between my thighs and firmly gripped my cock through my sweatpants.
I groaned, thrusting into her small hand as my head fell back. I wanted more. I needed more.
I let go of her long enough to rip my shirt overhead, and B turned, panting at the sight of me before she stripped her clothes off just the same. We watched each other, breathing erratic and fiery as layer after layer was shed, joining the blanket under us in the sand.
When we were both naked, we stared at each other, chests heaving and eyes wild. Her mouth parted at the sight of my cock, and I fought against the urge to smirk at her reaction.
When our eyes met, we crashed into each other once more.
Her hands swept into my hair as I lowered her down, sliding between her legs and reaching behind me until I felt the blanket. I pulled it up over where our hips met, and with the movement, my shaft slid along her wetness, splitting her lips open just enough for her to coat me.
A rumble of curses flew through me, and I was two seconds away from plummeting into her when I realized.
We didn’t have a condom.
I slowed my kisses, heart hammering at the loss, at not thinking ahead. But I didn’t expect this. I didn’t plan for it.
“We need to slow down,” I breathed.
“Like hell we do.”
I smirked against her lips, but kissed her slower still. “I don’t have a…”
I pulled back, nearly crying at the sight of her spread out under me like that, at being so close and yet…
“We don’t have protection.”
B’s eyes widened a bit, searching mine, but then she swallowed. “It’s okay.”
My heart skipped.
B bucked her hips up, digging her heels into my ass and inching us closer again. “I’m on birth control. And I’m clean. Are you?”
“Yes,” I cursed, because the fact that I was about to be inside her without a single barrier between us was enough for me to know I was about to be fucked for life.
I dropped my forehead to hers, savoring the way her nails dug into my shoulders.
I should stop this, a distant voice warned.
But then, B breathed my name, wrapping her hands around my neck and pulling my lips to hers once more.