“What do you want to eat?” he asks. “The fridge is fully stocked with salad ingredients, which I know you love; however, it should also be noted that I excel at making Vegemite sandwiches. The girls were all over those.”
“You’ve learned a valuable parenting skill today, Jack.”
“Which was?”
“If you play with kids for hours on end, they’ll love your Vegemite sandwiches.”
“Are you saying that my culinary skills aren’t as amazing as I thought?”
I shrug. “Possibly not. The true test will be dinner tonight.”
“How so?”
“Well, the girls will be exhausted after you play with them all afternoon. Then, you’ll have to wrangle them into the bath. After that comes the getting-them-dressed part. Have fun with that. And then there’s the keeping-them-occupied-while-making-dinner part. On second thought, have fun with that part.” I pause for effect. “If you can whip something good up for dinner after all that, you’ll have passed the test.”
“You’re a smart woman, Jessica Calvary.”
“Yes, this is correct, but what gave it away today?”
“The way you covertly lay down a challenge and make me want to achieve it is to be admired.”
“My work here is done.”
“Okay, so before I start meal planning for dinner, what do you want for lunch?”
I cock my head. “Did you ever imagine the day you would utter the words ‘meal planning’?”
He laughs. “I can’t say I did.”
“You look good in a kitchen, Jack.”
“Sweetheart, I look good in all the rooms of a house. You already know this.”
Oh, holy shit, no.
I walked into that one.
And while I’m usually good at walking back out of these situations with him, today I’m a handicapped player. Today, Jack has found his way into my good graces. Also, right now, he’s standing too close, affecting me in all the ways only he does.
The kitchen suddenly ceases to exist.
The rest of the house and the girls do, too.
It’s just Jack and me, looking at each other like we used to.
I feel it deep in my core first, but it doesn’t take long to spread to all the parts of my body.
That desire I’ve only ever felt with him.
And that’s saying something because after Jack, I tried desperately to forget how he made me feel. I slept with more people than I care to admit. And I thought I’d done a fairly good job of forgetting him. But here we are, and now I know I’ve done a very bad job of that. I want Jack just as much as I ever wanted him.
Shit.
“Jack,” I start, but he moves right on into me, silencing me with his presence.
“You feel this, Jessica. I see it in your eyes. Hell, it’s written all over your body.” His voice slides through me, heating every vein it touches.
“Just because I feel it doesn’t mean I want it.”
He cups my cheek and rubs his thumb over my lips. “You want this.”
I do.
In this moment, I want everything his eyes are promising.
I can’t think about anything but what they’re promising.
I can’t think about anything else full stop.
I’m more aroused than I have been in six years.
And that’s just from the slightest touch.
Actually, no, it’s not just from that.
This is from so much more than Jack’s touch.
What’s between us has always been from so much more than anything physical.
How we make each other feel comes from something much deeper and all-consuming than the sex.
And that’s the problem.
If this was just about sex, I could fuck him and get this over with.
But it’s not, so I can’t.
I reach up to pull his hand away from my face, but he catches it and holds it. And right alongside that, he catches my ability to think straight and holds onto that too.
“I want you in my life,” he says huskily, stealing any capacity I have left to walk away. “I’ve never stopped wanting you.”
I try to think about why I left Jack, but I can’t seem to do even that basic level of thinking. Not when I’m aching with need for him like I am.
My body takes over, pressing against him.
God, I want to kiss him.
He slides his arm around my waist, resting his hand on my ass. And when Jack rests his hand, it’s more like he’s claiming whatever he’s touching. This isn’t just him placing his hand somewhere, this is him telling me my ass is his.
I want to force that hand away.
My ass isn’t his.
And it will never be his again.
But, Jesus, I’m a fucking mess of incapacity right now. Gone is the in-control Jessica, and in her place is the Jack-might-actually-still-own-me Jessica.
His eyes search mine, telling me a million stories about how we could be good together. They remind me that I loved every second of my time with him. Even the seconds we spent arguing, which actually weren’t that many because our relationship was the best damn thing in the world.
I used to think Jack was made especially for me. We fit that well together. The fact I haven’t found anyone I fit so well with since has often made me question my decision to leave him. But then, really, he left me with no choice but to do that.
And that right there is why kissing him now is the absolute worst idea I’ve had in a long time.
I can’t kiss him.
I can’t do any of this with him.
“Baby,” he murmurs, running his thumb over my lips again before bringing his face to mine.
Every thought I have evacuates the building.
I’m completely focused on Jack.
On his hard chest that’s pressed to mine.
On his hand that’s claiming ownership of me.
On his mouth that I desperately want on mine.
“Jack!” Olivia calls out.
My mind scrambles to make sense of what’s happening. It’s like crawling through thick slime, though. Slow and laborious.
“Fuck,” Jack curses.
“Jack!” Olivia calls again.
My brain finally kicks into gear.
I place my hands to his chest to push him away.
“This isn’t finished,” he says as I do that, his eyes revealing his determination to make what he said true.
I swallow all the feelings surging through me. “It is finished,” I say with my own determination.
He reaches for me again, attempting to pull me back into his hold, but Olivia comes running into the kitchen, putting a stop to everything.
I could squeeze her with love right now.
“Jack.” She grasps his jeans, looking up at him with adoration. “Come see Winnie.”
“How about you go and wait for me while I get us something to eat?”
She shakes her head emphatically and pulls his hand. “No.”
He glances at me as Olivia does her best to get him to go back to the couch. His eyes say everything he’s not, but I’m done listening.
“Go and watch the movie,” I say. “I have to get back to work.”
“You haven’t eaten lunch yet,” he says.
I grab an apple from the fruit bowl. “This’ll keep me going until your gourmet dinner.” Not giving him a chance to argue with me, I quickly exit the kitchen, putting as much distance as I can between us as fast as I can.