Pain shot through my neck, and I rubbed the back of it. There it was—confirmation of my worst fear. I couldn’t manage to conjure up a response to that. Instead, I changed the subject, my head spinning.
“What time is your appointment?”
He looked down at his phone. “Shit. I actually have to hurry up.” He headed toward the door but turned around one last time. “I’m not done with this conversation, okay?” He pointed at me. “You and me, we’re gonna talk later tonight and figure out our shit—together.” He patted his chest and winked. “Miller strong.”
I forced a smile before he disappeared down the hall. Grabbing my pillow, I placed it over my face as I fell back on the bed. My heart pounded as I breathed into the fabric.
Presley was right. Telling him would be a huge mistake. My brother had definitely fucked up in his lifetime. But he didn’t deserve to hear that I’d moved in on his family while he wasn’t looking. He didn’t deserve that at all.
I didn’t know what to do. I seemed to be waking up from the stupor I’d been in and doubting for the first time whether I could betray him, no matter how much I loved Presley. At the same time, losing her was unimaginable.
I couldn’t remember wanting anything in my life as much as I wanted her—not only her, but a life with her. It wasn’t only about me or what I wanted, though, was it? We had Alex to think about—and honestly, Tanner. He might not have deserved her, but he was still my brother, and I owed him loyalty. It was easier to discount that fact when I thought he didn’t care. But now that I knew he apparently did, that he wanted to be a better man—it was a game changer.
My phone chimed, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked down to find a text from Presley. My chest tightened.
Presley: Tanner left the house. Can you come to my room?
I had no idea whether she just wanted to talk or whether she was looking for something else. But as much as I wanted to be with her right now, I wasn’t ready to face her until I better understood what the realization I’d had today meant for us. I couldn’t risk getting any deeper into things if I was only going to walk away—even if leaving was the last thing I wanted.
It caused me literal pain to type the words.
Levi: I have a busy day today. I can’t. I’m sorry.
CHAPTER 22
* * *
Presley
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’d read over Levi’s text, trying to decipher the true meaning.
He was busy? That was the biggest crock of shit. And Levi had never been one to shy away from talking, so I couldn’t understand why he’d blown me off. This had me feeling a bit panicked. I didn’t care how busy he claimed to be; you can always make time for things that matter.
I’d dropped Alex off at a friend’s house, so I was alone, aside from the fact that Fern was somewhere in the house.
Deciding to paint an accent wall in one of the bedrooms, I ruminated as I kept going over the same spots unnecessarily—my mind just wasn’t in it today.
At one point, Tanner appeared at the doorway, dressed to the nines. I knew about his job interview but hadn’t spoken to him before he left this morning.
I put down my brush. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“How did your interview go?”
“It went well.” He smiled. “They’re going to let me know by the end of the week. I think they have to interview a couple more people.”
I hadn’t known what to think when Tanner announced he was going for that coaching job. While I certainly wanted him to live closer to his son, it had felt hard to breathe with him around lately.
“That’s great,” I said, finding it difficult to form a smile.
He cocked his head. “You don’t sound that enthused.”
“Things are just getting down to the wire with these renovations,” I lied. “I’m feeling the pressure.”
“So, you’re good with the prospect of me staying in Beaufort, then?”
“I’m always good with what’s best for Alex. He deserves to have his father in his life.”
“Fingers crossed this works out. I have a good feeling.” He paused. “I have nothing going on the rest of the afternoon. Let me help you paint.”
“No, that’s really not necessary.”
“I insist. Gonna go get out of these clothes real quick.” He took off down the hall.
Shit.
Tanner returned a few minutes later, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. His muscles were noticeably larger than I remembered.
He spent the rest of the afternoon painting alongside me. After we finished, I ended up showing him some of the old photos I’d found in the house, and that led to reminiscing about the old days.
At one point, Fern peeked her head in on her way down the hallway and flashed a snide grin. She was enjoying this soap opera a little too much.
Tanner followed me to the kitchen and lifted a bottle of wine off the rack.
“How about we take this out back to celebrate a job well done? It’s just about five o’clock anyway.”
Before answering, I checked my phone for the umpteenth time. Once again, nothing from Levi.
What the hell? I could definitely use a little wine to numb this anxiety.
I shrugged. “Sure. I could go for some wine.”
Tanner grabbed the bottle of red along with two glasses from the cabinet. We sat out on the porch, and I watched as he poured one for each of us.
As he handed me a glass, he said, “I’m wondering if now would be a good time to have that talk I’ve been wanting to have with you.”
I should’ve known there was an ulterior motive. I took a long sip. “I’m not going anywhere, so it’s just as good a time as any.”
“Good.” He set his glass down and wiped his palms on his pants. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”
His eyes reflected a rare vulnerability that I only remembered seeing in the early days of our relationship, before the injury changed him.
I stayed quiet as he started talking.
“I don’t expect you to give me your trust any time soon, Presley. I know I have to earn that back and then some. But I want to work toward that.”
“You only have to worry about earning Alex’s trust back,” I said.
“And I plan to. But I’m not only here to reconnect with Alex.” His eyes seared into mine. “My hope is that we can repair what we lost.”
Sweat beaded on my forehead. “Tanner—”
“Please hear me out.” He took a long gulp of wine. “I know I’ve messed up more than once. And you don’t owe me another chance. But I am trying very hard to change and be the kind of man you’ve always deserved. As I told my brother this morning, I’m getting older now, and my priorities are clearer than ever.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. “You spoke to Levi about this?”
“Yeah. We talked for a bit before my interview this morning. He said he’s going through some stuff, too.”
Feeling woozy, I blinked. “What stuff?”
“He wouldn’t elaborate, but it sounded like a life crisis—similar to mine. You know, he and I aren’t all that different. We’re both getting older and wiser and realizing the lives we’re living may not be what we want long term.” He exhaled. “I talked to him about my desire to get my family back.”