I dropped my hand quickly.
“Good.” He started to turn.
I was suddenly desperate to keep him, though I had no idea in hell what I wanted from him. All I knew was that I wanted to feel better, and for him to make me feel better, but I didn’t know what he could possibly say or do to achieve that unless he knew how to make me be a completely different person than the person I was.
But he was standing there, looking at me, and I had to say something now. “Still on for tomorrow?”
“Actually, I might skip yoga. There’s a lot to do to get ready for my mother’s birthday party.”
It was an excuse. The event was taking place in his apartment’s lounge, but the whole thing was being handled by a party planner.
“Of course.” I’d practiced smiling through heartbreak with Scott so many times that I knew how to deliver it on cue now.
The “heartbreak” with Scott didn’t seem like more than a heartscratch in comparison to this, though.
“I’ll see you at her party then.” With my head held high, I left the room before he could say I was no longer invited.
Chapter Eight
“Happy Birthday, Laura!” I timidly opened my arms up to hug Brett’s mother, but she swooped me into her arms with no hesitation.
“Ah, Eden. It’s been a while. I’m happy to see you.” The woman was one of the warmest people I knew, a rare find in the Sebastian world. My mother had left me and Avery with my dad when we were little, and I barely remembered her, but the fantasy mother I built up in my mind over the years would have been just like Laura Sebastian.
“I got you something,” I said, feeling stupid because what kind of meaningful gift could I give someone with more money in her purse than I’d see in my lifetime? That was why I was mentioning it, actually. An apology. “It’s silly, though.”
Her eyes lit up. “You know I adore silly. Where is it?”
“I left it on the gift table.”
“Should I open it now?”
“No. Definitely no. In fact, open it alone.” The thirty-dollar find on Etsy was a pillow that appeared to be floral, but on closer look, the buds were actually penises. Before I worked at SIC, Laura had invited me to DBC, her dirty book club, and I’d discovered a whole other side of her that I wasn’t sure her son was even aware of. Unfortunately, her club met in the daytime, and once I had a full-time job, I’d had to stop going.
“Oh. I think I understand.”
“You do.” We giggled, and I felt a sharp ache, wishing I had an excuse to see her more often.
Though maybe it was best I didn’t see her too much. It would only give me another connection with Brett when what I needed was less. After the random sex we’d had at the office the day before, I’d had hard words with myself and decided I needed to put our friendship first and give up on this idea that we might be good together romantically.
Easier said than done.
Being here tonight, with him and his family and closest friends, I kept doubting that decision. I fit in here. This was my place, in his world. Didn’t that mean we belonged together?
You do belong together, I reminded myself. As friends.
Just friends.
The best way to get over him would probably be to see less of him. Obviously, that wasn’t an option since we worked together, and since I’d promised him that we were all cool, I couldn’t exactly step back from hanging out together either.
Still, I’d seriously considered canceling tonight.
Now that I was here, I was glad I’d come. But behind my smile, I was struggling. Laura’s ever welcoming demeanor wasn’t helping, and I tried to subtly end the conversation early. “Well, I won’t steal you from those that matter—”
She cut me off. “Don’t be ridiculous.” She leaned in so she could lower her voice and still be heard. “You’re one of the only people I actually like here.”
“Didn’t Brett invite the other ladies from DBC? Did you give him their contact info?”
“Oh, he invited them, but I warned them all that it would be littered with stuck-up Sebastian prudes and suggested they only come by if they wanted to waste the evening. They decided they’re taking me for lunch next week instead.”
Ugh. That pain again, the feeling of being left out.
But I said, “Good call,” like I didn’t have FOMO at all.
She seemed to sense it anyway. “I wish you could be there. Do you think you could call in sick?”
I considered it for half a second before remembering I was trying to move myself away from Brett’s family, not toward. “I’m afraid not. It’s a busy time right now.”
“I get it,” she said with a sigh. “Well, sit down with me. We can catch up now.”
I went with her reluctantly as she pulled me to the sofa she’d been sitting on before she’d seen me approach. Brett had rented out his building’s lounge, a space big enough to accommodate the hundred people who’d been invited while still feeling intimate with seating grouped in conversational style throughout the room.
The sofa that Laura had claimed as hers for the night was grouped with two chairs that were currently occupied by Brett’s father, Luke, and a cousin I didn’t know very well. The two were deep in their conversation, so it was just me and Laura for the moment.
“So has Michele brought the new baby by lately?” Hopefully, if I asked about Brett’s sister, it would keep me from having to talk about myself. “He must be almost one now.”
She shook her head. “Nope. I’ve been talking about myself all night. I’d rather hear about you. Seeing anyone?”
My stomach felt heavy even though I hadn’t eaten anything all night. “Ha ha,” I said.
“Then you’re not seeing anyone? Brett made it sound like you were.”
I was instantly curious as to what her son had said about my love life, but equally cautious about prying into a subject I was trying not to care about.
“To be honest—” I took a breath, wondering how I could be somewhat truthful with her. It would feel so good to be able to tell someone. To share at least a tiny morsel of this agony that I was carrying—a little dramatic maybe, but that was me. “I’m trying to get over someone right now.”
“Oh, you poor thing. Not a good fit?”
Without meaning to, my eyes crossed the room to Brett talking to Scott, who was wearing a scowl, and his brother Zachary, who nodded along with Brett’s words. Did we really not fit together? “He doesn’t think so.”
“That sucks. But between you and me? Sebastians, in general, really aren’t all that.”
I turned quickly toward her and blushed when I realized she’d followed my gaze.
Then she added, “Especially that Scott. Trust me. I’ve known him since he was in diapers.”
“You’re right.” At least she’d assumed I’d been talking about the wrong Sebastian. She might have even heard mention of my trysts with Scott through the family grapevine. I didn’t know what Brett said about me, and Scott was pretty discreet about his many dalliances.
Though part of me wished she’d realized who I’d really meant. Wished that she would have corrected me. Wished she would have told me to hang in there, that he’d come around.