She didn’t leave me empty, however. Giving me a side hug, she said softly, “Hang in there. You’ll find the man for you. Who knows? He might be right under your nose, and you just don’t know it yet.”
Brett chose that moment to look toward me, and our eyes locked. As much scolding as I’d given to it, my heart flipped at the connection. Or maybe he’s under my nose, and I do know it, I thought.
But all I said was, “Maybe.”
Thankfully, I was rescued from Brett’s intense gaze and any more personal talk with Laura when Brett’s older brother Tyler called everyone together for a toast. I barely listened, but I raised my flute, and when glasses clinked around the room, I tried hard not to believe it was the sound of something inside of me breaking.
I mingled for the next half hour in a mode I usually reserved for work—outwardly present, internally moping. Whether I was avoiding Brett or he was avoiding me, we didn’t communicate at all beyond a few shared glances when he found me looking at him.
God, I was obnoxious. Staring at him incessantly like a lost dog. I hoped I wasn’t too obvious, but those hopes were dashed when Scott came to stand beside me during the cake cutting. “What’s going on with you and Brett?”
“What do you mean?” Had Brett said something about me to him? I hated how hopeful the thought made me.
“Just that you usually reserve the dazed look for me.”
“I’m not looking at Brett with—” I cut myself off before I came off as too defensive. “You’re full of yourself.”
He gave me that smirk that only a few weeks ago would have had me handing over my panties. “You’re over me, aren’t you, Waters? We should celebrate. Toast?”
I smacked his shoulder lightly with the back of my hand, but I smiled.
Then immediately dropped it when Brett popped up at my side. “What are we toasting?”
I wished I was invisible.
Or if I had to be realistic, that I was quick with a subject changer.
Thankfully, Scott was fast on his feet. “We’re toasting how close we are to sealing this sponsorship deal.”
“Ah. I’ll raise my glass to that.” Brett seemed dubious, which was fair, because Scott was not usually the kind to bring up work at a casual function, and I definitely wasn’t the kind.
And I’d been smiling when he’d come over. Brett probably thought that Scott and I had been flirting. So much for making sure Brett knew I was over his cousin, but I supposed that didn’t matter now.
Yet, with Brett finally standing next to me, it was hard to remember that I had decided to stop obsessing about him. His presence made me feel itchy in my skin, the way I always felt when I was turned on. Like I wouldn’t feel right until I was scratched just right.
But it was more than just feeling aroused.
Brett made my chest feel tight and warm all at once. Those horses galloped in my stomach, but I never felt more anchored in place. I wanted to reach out and touch him, because I liked being connected to him. I liked being his plus one—a label I’d frequently held over the years—not because of how it looked to be with him but because I knew that after whatever event he’d dragged me to was over, he would be the one still by my side. He’d be the one who would laugh at my stories from the night. He’d be the one who convinced me I hadn’t stuck out like a sore thumb.
He’d be the one who made me feel like it was okay to just be me.
I was in love with him, wasn’t I? Really in love with him.
How long had I been ignoring that?
The realization had drawn me from the conversation, but something Scott said brought me barreling back from my thoughts. “What are you talking about?” I asked him.
“About this guy.” He pointed to Brett, almost accusatory. “He mentioned earlier he spent the day with Tess. I was asking him for the scoop.”
Now I was completely present, jealousy spiking hot and fast in my veins. “Brett spent the day with Tess?”
I knew he liked her. This shouldn’t have been a surprise. Of course he’d pursue her. Of course she’d let herself be pursued.
Brett cleared his throat. “Yeah. We, uh—”
I cut him off there. I didn’t want to hear him talk about her and him as a “we.” I didn’t have to listen to this. I couldn’t. “You know what? I just remembered I, uh...I have to go.”
Blinking away tears, I turned and headed toward the exit, not quickly enough to escape Scott’s comment. “That was weird.”
Then there was Brett calling after me. “Edie! Wait up!”
I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t look at him. I kept walking straight ahead, dodging anyone who looked like they wanted to talk, pretending I didn’t hear the guy I was crazy about chasing after me.
Hey, I should be happy to be finally chased, shouldn’t I?
It was too soon to laugh at myself.
In the hall, I pressed the elevator button. Then pressed it a bunch more times when the doors didn’t open up right away.
“Eden!”
Dammit.
There was Brett, heading down the hall toward me.
Hallelujah, the elevator opened then. “Tomorrow!” I shouted out to him as I got in. “I’ll call you.”
Lies. Tomorrow I wouldn’t leave my bed.
The doors closed before he reached me.
Then, I remembered—fuck—and I hit the button to open the door. “My purse,” I said because he was waiting on the other side. “I left my purse in your apartment.”
“...Your purse in my apartment,” he finished with me. I’d dropped it off before the party, not wanting to carry it around all night.
Earlier me thought I’d been thinking ahead.
Current me had regrets.
I couldn’t get home without it. It was too far to walk, and I didn’t have any cash or my phone on me. That was why he’d been chasing after me.
And I’d thought I couldn’t feel any worse.
“Just give me your key,” I said, but he was already stepping into the elevator.
“I’ll ride down with you.”
“You shouldn’t leave the party.”
“I won’t be missed. It’s fine.” He hit the button to his floor, and I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to be invisible.
“What happened?”
I waved my hand in the air, hoping that he got the hint because if I had to say I didn’t want to talk about it, I wasn’t sure I could get the words out without breaking down.
Either he was in the mood to be persistent or he didn’t understand my gesture because he started to say something else, but then, thankfully, the doors opened, and I swiftly exited and rushed toward his apartment. My purse was just inside. All I had to do was walk in, grab it, and head back out. Quick and easy.
It felt like forever before he caught up with me, but when he did, he didn’t push me to talk.
Until we were inside. I reached for my purse, but he grabbed it before I did and held it in the air, out of my reach. “Please tell me what happened, Edie.”
The softness in his voice…he was going to break me.
I shook my head, an errant tear spilling down my cheek.
“What did Scott do?” he asked more forcefully.
Surprise helped me find my voice. “Scott? You think this is about Scott?”