I closed my eyes, thinking it would only be for a minute. At some point, I woke to the covers being tugged out from underneath me and then being tucked around me.
Then I was aware of Brett, sliding under the sheets at my side.
My body rolled toward him like he was true north. His arms wrapped around me like I was his. Silently, a prayer of sorts ran through my head. Want me. Keep me. Love me.
Maybe I said the last out loud, or maybe it was a dream when I heard him whisper, “I already do,” before I drifted into deep sleep.
Chapter Ten
I awoke to the smell of coffee. It wasn’t quite as alluring as the bacon had been the last time I’d woken in Brett’s bed, but I was still smiling when I opened my eyes.
My smile widened when I realized the coffee was already waiting for me in a mug on the nightstand. In my favorite mug, too. It said “Queen of Fucking Everything” with gold crowns. Brett had received it once in a gift exchange at the office, and when he’d tried to pawn it off on me, I’d suggested he keep it at his house for when I slept over.
When I’d also joked that it might scare any one-night stands into thinking he was already taken, he’d agreed.
I hadn’t considered then why he might want women to think he was off the market. Had he been essentially waiting for me all this time?
Then why had he rejected me after our first night together?
Not that it mattered now.
I stretched, and the radiance that had prompted the smile spread through my limbs like liquid sunshine running through my veins. I didn’t even care how sore my body felt. Every creak of my bones was worth it.
“Was I too hard on you?”
I looked toward the voice and found Brett sitting on the bench by his window, one leg stretched out in front of him as he watched me. He was dressed—unfortunately—in jogging shorts and a pullover, and even though I’d now seen the glory of him naked, I couldn’t help ogling the thick muscles of his thighs.
“Should I be worried that you have to think about the answer?”
I blinked, realizing I hadn’t responded. “You weren’t too hard on me. Sorry, I got distracted by the view.”
He turned to glance out the window behind him, as though that was the view I was talking about. “It’s a nice day. Not too hot. I can run outside instead of on the treadmill.”
After last night’s acrobatics, I wasn’t sure he needed more exercise at all. I considered offering an alternative cardio workout, but there was something guarded about the energy between us. That glass wall was back, and as much as I wanted to press against it, I wasn’t sure that was the best move.
But maybe I could find a door if I just kept looking. “I could get dressed and join you. I doubt I have shorts here, but I could find something. I’ll even let you make fun of my form.”
“I uh, prefer the time in my head.”
Honestly, I probably couldn’t keep up with him anyway.
That was what I should have said, or I should have left it alone entirely and pretended not to be bothered that he didn’t want to be with me, but of course that wasn’t my style, no matter how much I wished it was. “Because of last night?” I asked, like I was asking to have my heart punched.
He ran his palms down his bare thighs, an action that brought memories flooding from the middle of the night when he’d woken me up with his cock already sheathed, slipping into me from behind. His hand had snaked around me, and he’d stroked my leg then swept up to massage my pussy before another trip down my thigh.
His touch was so arousing, whether he was touching my clit or my knee, and watching his hands give his own legs the same attention did funny things to my insides.
I forced my head from the thoughts when he spoke. “There are some things from last night that bear reflection.”
We were in total agreement there. And all the parts that were pushing for a replay in my head had my thighs rubbing together. If he felt anything like I did, why the hell would he want to be alone? “Do you regret it? I swear you weren’t too hard on me. I loved all of it.”
“I do not regret the sex.” Finally, he showed a hint of a grin, but it quickly retreated.
“If not the sex…?”
His eyes were gravely serious. “We said a bunch of things—”
“Things we meant,” I interjected, because there was no way I was letting him take back what he’d said. “Don’t try to say we didn’t.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“Weren’t you?”
“No. Not exactly.”
“Then you do…” I wasn’t brave enough to repeat the word he’d said the night before. “Have feelings for me?”
He cocked his head in a scolding manner. “I think we’re past the pretense, don’t you?”
Yes, but panic was bubbling up inside me, and I was desperate for validation that this morning wasn’t turning into a repeat of last time. If he admitted he loved me, then it couldn’t be. There wouldn’t be a reason.
Except...
I studied him, realizing what exactly he had been meaning to say. Or imply, rather, because even after how close we’d gotten, how honest we’d been, the guy was too nice to say something that might be directly hurtful.
I pulled the sheet up over my breasts, needing to feel less vulnerable. “It’s me you don’t trust. You don’t think I meant what I said.”
A beat passed where he said nothing, which said all I needed it to.
Okay. Okay. I could work with this. I’d thought it might be this. I moved to my knees, the sheet still wrapped around me. “I did mean it. I do. I can’t tell you how much I do.”
He raised his brows incredulously.
“Why is that so hard to believe? Because of Scott? I’m telling you, that’s over. That was nothing.” I growled in frustration because I heard myself. I’d mooned over his cousin for as long as I’d worked at SIC, which had been over a year now. “I get how it sounds. But this is different. You’re different for me. We already have so much between us.”
“Which makes us easy,” he said.
“Easy?” Some of it. Right now was anything but easy, but the good parts had been extremely easy. “What’s wrong with easy?”
“Nothing is wrong with easy, it’s just…”
“It’s just...what?”
He brought his outstretched leg in, his body now tense. “Why now, Edie? Why all of a sudden?”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve known each other for ten years. You’ve never given any indication that you had any feelings before now. What happened?”
I was pretty sure I knew what he was insinuating. “It’s not just because Scott had pushed me away. He’s always pushing me away.”
“So then what happened this time?”
“Nothing happened. I just...I don’t know.” Did there have to be a reason?
“Because of a night of good sex?”
“It was really good sex.” It fell flat, and I realized too late it probably wasn’t a good time for joking. “I don’t know! I figured it out, I guess.”
“Because I told you I met someone?”