She just didn’t. That was it.
Nothing to be pissed off about.
But anyway, that was her experience with different kinds of women, and the ways they sometimes competed rather than getting along. But the Daniels house was an interesting mix of a great many things that seemed to simply coexist and not compete at all. Different types of people who let each other be.
It was an interesting contrast to her own household, which was... Homogenous.
It was Western, unambiguously.
Her brothers were rodeo cowboys, her father was a former rodeo cowboy and her mother was a former rodeo queen.
And there was no kind of model for her to emulate other than the boys, because she sure as hell didn’t want to be a rodeo queen. It just didn’t suit her.
She wasn’t like the other cowgirls in the rodeo, either, not exactly. And it just felt easier to emulate her brothers. She had five of them around all the time, after all. Though her oldest brother hadn’t been home in years, six brothers was a little excessive anyway, and Kit, Jace, Boone, Flint and Chance were more than enough of an influence without Buck around.
And the tougher she acted, the less her dad hovered and the more he supported her in what she wanted.
But anyway, her like of his family aside, her palms were sweaty because they were having to get themselves a marriage license today. And she just felt guilty. Because she wasn’t going to tell her parents until the wedding happened. Because she didn’t want it to turn into some kind of a circus. And she really didn’t want them all there. It was bad enough doing it at all without having an actual ceremony, and her mom wanting her to be a bride and... No. That just wasn’t happening. So it had to happen without their knowledge. And it needed to happen quick.
“I guess we need to get our paperwork,” she said at the breakfast table that morning.
“Right. What all does that entail?”
“I don’t know. Birth certificates and things. You have to get a blood test in some places to prove you’re not related.”
“I don’t think you need to do that here,” he said.
“Well, we just need to make sure. And then, I guess we make our appointment with the justice of the peace. No point having anything other than a civil ceremony.”
“Sure. I mean, what exactly do you have to do legally to make it... Real?”
She was starting to feel twitchy. “I don’t know. You need a witness, I know that. And I don’t actually think someone can stop the wedding by objecting. That much I kinda know.”
“Sure,” he said.
“So, I guess we better go get ourselves a marriage license.”
“Yeah, all right, we can go do that today. But we have to wait for things to open up.”
“The courthouse is open at eight. I checked.”
“Aren’t you industrious?”
“I am,” she said, feeling pleased with herself.
“Chores first,” he said. “Then we can get on to the marriage license.”
“Well, it’s a good thing it’s not a real marriage, because that’s not a very romantic sentiment.”
“Callie, nothing about this is overly romantic. But I figure that’s by design.”
“It would have to be by design for it to be romantic,” she said, snorting. And then she realized that maybe she didn’t want to be snorting like that. It was a little bit embarrassing.
She tramped out to the fields with him, and they spent the morning working on barbed wire, and then they decided to go sweaty into town with all their documentation. It was a painless process at the courthouse. They filled some things out, finishing them off with their signatures.
“I didn’t know your birth date,” she said as they were walking out of the small, redbrick building.
“Is it a deterrent?” he asked, lifting a brow. “Does it make me ineligible?”
“No,” she said. “I just didn’t know it. It’s more a point of interest. An observation.”
He huffed a laugh. “Kinda makes it seem silly that we’re doing this.”
“I thought you didn’t care about marriage.”
“I don’t. But you do. You said something about it being sacred. A promise in front of God and all that.”
“Well, yeah, my parents have been married for forty years. It’s a relationship that means everything to them, and living a life like my father did... Well, he could’ve been unfaithful. That’s the thing. A lot of them are.”
“Hank Dalton as exhibit A.”
She nodded. “I know Hank. He and my father used to ride together, and they were good friends, but he could never condone the way that Hank treated his marriage. He never wanted to be like Hank. My dad talked about him as an example of what not to be. It’s just... Yeah, my dad never wanted to be like that. And I respect that. I do. I know that it means a lot to them, to my parents. That their kids respect marriage and relationships in the same way that they do.”
“This isn’t real. Don’t worry about it.”
“Why don’t you care about marriage? I mean, I know you didn’t have your parents in your life forever, but... Were they unhappy?”
“They built up our house like this sacred thing, treated our family—me and Colt—like we were something special. Like the home was the most important thing, our family, no matter what. No matter what else was happening. You know how it is. And it felt that way for a while. Like the Daniels family was the most important family that there could ever be. When you lose something like that you realize it’s not magic. The world’s not magic. It’s just dirt. Dirt and sweat and death. And that’s about all you’re guaranteed in life. You know where you’re headed, right?”
“That’s grim,” she said, shivering slightly. But she could understand how he felt, because his words broke something open in her head. Her family felt magic. With their beautiful ranch out there in the middle of nowhere, her brothers... She knew they weren’t, though. They’d been touched by a grief that she’d never had to experience. But she had always known that bad things can happen. Just because she hadn’t been around to see it didn’t mean she didn’t understand it.
The secret she hadn’t told him.
But how could she keep it from him?
She knew his birth date now. She supposed he should know this.
“You know, before I was born, there were seven kids in the family.” She didn’t know why it felt like trying to shove a brick off her chest. Why it felt so heavy.