It was then she realized he was in the arena, quieting the horse and guiding him out, back into the field.
“That wasn’t good enough,” he said.
“Yeah?” She spit into the dirt, her mouth grainy. “No shit.”
“I thought you wanted to win,” he said. “Or at the very least not get your pretty ass stomped.”
He was furious.
It wasn’t a compliment.
And the aforementioned body part hurt.
So.
Pausing at that was stupid. Ridiculous.
She breathed past it.
“I have no desire to get anything on me stomped, my ass or otherwise.” He was blazing angry, and it didn’t make any sense.
She wasn’t hurt.
When she’d broken her arm she’d been unconscious for a minute, and when she’d come to she’d heard someone screaming. It had taken a while to realize it was her. Screaming and screaming over and over. In pain. A blank chunk of time between when she’d been on the back of the horse and the moment she’d come back to herself on the ground.
Jake had been holding on to her, holding her arm against her side, and he’d been cupping her face. Saying things, but she couldn’t understand them.
He’d been tender then. Worried.
This time he was pissed.
Hell, most of the time a ride like that ended with the cowboy getting unseated. It was nothing unusual. It was part of the job. The cost of doing business. It was simply the way things went sometimes, and there was no use getting upset about it.
Yeah, she knew it was one reason her dad didn’t want her doing this job, but Jake was not her dad.
“How many times have you taken a fall, Jake Daniels? Because I think it’s been a lot of times. You know that this is just the way things go. Stop acting like I’m made of glass.” She took a step forward and jabbed her forefinger directly into his chest. “You have double standards.”
“So what? I never said I didn’t. You’re the one out there trying to pretend like there is no physiological difference between men and women. But I’ll tell you what, that’s just your inexperience talking.”
Anger spiked in her blood. “My what?”
“You don’t know enough about men to understand how different we are.”
Now her anger was a full-blown shot of rage. Her mother was always prodding her, gently reminding her she was a lady. The bargain she’d made with her father and brothers to earn equality was to behave just like them and never show any weakness. And it wasn’t enough, it was never enough. And people were always trying to tell her who she was, what she should do and want and be.
And she was done. “I have six brothers, dumbass. I know the difference between men and women.”
“You don’t have as good of a grasp on it as you need to.” He blew out a hard breath. “I’m all for you going for your dream. I wouldn’t be marrying you if I wasn’t for you. But you need to be reasonable. You need... Protection. Protective gear. And you have to be better. You just do. You need to be faster when you hit the ground. You’re lighter, so maybe you won’t fall as hard.”
She crossed her arms and huffed, aware she was starting to sound like a bratty teenager. “It was a pretty good fall, Jake. It’s not like I broke another bone.”
“But you could have.”
She stopped herself just short of rolling her eyes. “Yeah, something could always happen. Were you the one that was just saying that? It could always be something.”
“Don’t be that cavalier about your own life, Cal. Just don’t.”
“Oh, only you get to be that way?”
His lips twitched and he firmed up his jaw. “We’re getting married tomorrow. You need to live to see it.”
She forced a laugh out of her lungs. “Yeah, I can’t wait. Can’t wait to marry a guy who doesn’t think I’m strong enough to do what I want, and doesn’t think I’m his equal.”
“I never said I didn’t think you were my equal, Cal. I said we were different. Those are two very separate concepts. And like I told you, the only reason you’re resisting it as hard as you are is that you... Well, hell, you don’t have any experience with men, do you?”
She closed her lips tight, slid her tongue over her teeth. “Who said I wanted any?”
If she couldn’t show vulnerability, there was no way in hell she could... That she could ever...
Not until later. Not until she’d achieved her dreams.
There was no scope for it. No time.
“Hey,” he said, putting up his hands. “I’m not judging.”
“It’s not like that,” she said. “It’s just that I’m busy. I have dreams. And I don’t need a man lying around cluttering them up.”
He just stood there, staring, his expression flat stone. Then he spread his arms wide. “I’m sorry, am I cluttering up your dreams, or am I helping you reach them?”
“You know it’s not the same.”
He crossed his arms then, and gave her a look she couldn’t quite read. One that made her skin feel too tight for her body. Made it feel difficult to breathe. She didn’t like this. Being at odds with him. And she really hated that the whole marriage thing seemed to be... Making things difficult between them. Though, in fairness, it was probably this whole bucking bronco thing more than it was the marriage. He’d been weird about that from the beginning. Helping, but in a very... Overly concerned kind of way.
And after she broke her arm, he acted like he wanted nothing to do with it. Like a broken bone wasn’t just one of those things you had to chalk up to a bad day.
“We’re done,” he said.
He jerked his head to the left. “Go on home. Clean up.”
“I’m not a collie,” she said. “There’s a difference between a lady and a dog, you know.”
“I’m not the one that’s confused.”
“I’m sorry, did you want me to prove that I know things? Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina. There. Do you feel like I gave you enough information?”
Her anger had started to thin slightly, and the redness, the heat that was left in her cheeks, seemed to be the echo of the words that she had shouted at him. Which was stupid. It was anatomy. Who the hell got worked up about that? It was basically like reading a textbook out loud.
She had brothers. So many brothers. She was comfortable with men in their bodies, and all that kind of stuff. She was a farm girl. She had seen horses getting it on in the field from the time she was a kid. She...