That she could make her own history. That Callie Carson could feel like she had a place in the world on her own merit.
“All right. We’ll start training as soon as possible. Three days until the wedding, so tomorrow we saddle up.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Sounds good.”
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING, Callie was up bright and early, and she was excited. Because if he was going to teach her how to ride, then she was ready.
Not that she didn’t know. She was confident enough that she could step into the ring and compete against the men, but she understood that he was doing his best to fortify her against anything that might happen. If he needed to do that, that was fine. The bottom line was, he was a great rider. He was a great cowboy, and she didn’t resent having to take lessons from him at all. Any tips that he might give her would be helpful. He had won it all before in the bull riding stakes, and while broncos and bulls were quite literally two different beasts, the function of riding the two of them wasn’t entirely different. The mechanics of it all.
Anyway, the mindset of a champion...that was what mattered.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized she didn’t just want to compete—she wanted to win. She wanted to prove that she belonged there. That it wasn’t just that she could buy entry, but that she could really and truly compete. She had a feeling that as much as Jake supported her, not even he fully believed that.
But he would see. He would. She would make him see, and then he would be... He would be proud of her, and so would her parents. They would understand. In the end, they would understand.
“You actually have bucking broncos out here?”
“I do, in fact, have some horses that are retired from the rodeo, but it doesn’t mean they can’t still buck.”
“This is fantastic. I haven’t ridden since the accident.”
“Are you strong enough?”
She laughed. “Yes. I did physical therapy, religiously. Everything is great. It’s the fact that my dad won’t let me near the horses.”
“Your dad?”
She blew out a breath. “He lost it when I broke my arm. He said...he said he’d been an idiot thinking I could handle it and that I obviously couldn’t. It’s not fair, Jake. Kit, Boone... They’ve all had their injuries. But the minute I couldn’t walk it off, I have to quit? He doesn’t want me to be equal, he wants me to be better. And I can... I can.”
“He’s afraid, Cal,” Jake said, his voice suddenly rough, and it caught Callie off guard. “You know, it’s not insane that your dad lost a child and he’s worried about you. Losing people messes you up. I know. It’s not like I took care of my parents or anything like that. It’s not the same. But still, it... It did something to me to lose them. It wasn’t nothing.”
“He told me I could do whatever I wanted. Be whoever I wanted. I feel like it was a lie. All of it.”
“I get it. I’m just saying... Look, I get it. I get why they’re scared. I don’t know how anyone does it. Has kids like that. And... Just has them, knowing how things are.”
“Oh. So... That idea scares you?” The idea of anything scaring him was... So foreign. So strange.
“I don’t know that I’d say scares, because I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to have kids. Like I said, none of that stuff means anything to me. I’m not a family man. Not cut out for it.”
“Me, either. I mean, I don’t want to actually get married. It just doesn’t fit in with my plans.”
They wandered over to the barn, and her heart leapt when she saw the horses out in the field. “I get to ride one of them?”
“Yes. And you have to wear a helmet.”
“I hate that,” she said. “I hate it when the cowboys put on those helmets with face masks.”
“It’s not wimping out to protect your brains,” Jake said, his tone dry.
She still groused.
“You can’t ride forever,” he said. “Even I quit. You have to have a body to use when you’re done.”
“Well, all right. Maybe I’ll think about that other stuff when it comes time. But... It’s not time. Not now. This is what I want. Besides, you know you never wanted it—why can’t I know that?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Good point.”
“Do you have a...a chute and everything?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Look, I was ready to leave the rodeo, but I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to everything.”
“Well, I’m appreciative of that.”
He got the horse saddled up, and got him in the chute. By then, she could see that he was already agitated, already knowing what was coming next. Callie’s heart was hammering hard. She’d had to heal from her broken arm, and she’d been coming up with her plan to get all this going, so it had actually been a few months since she’d been on the back of a horse like this. It made her uneasy. But excited all at the same time.
And then suddenly all her adrenaline went sharp, focused. She lived for this. For this moment. When it all went quiet. When it went calm. When she felt the most at peace with herself and everything in her and around her. In that moment before the chute opened. In that moment before the bunched muscle beneath her sprung into action and she went live.
And then it happened.
She couldn’t hear, wasn’t aware of anything going on around her at all except for what occurred between herself and the horse. He did his job, bucking and reeling, rolling beneath her, trying to unseat her.
And she did hers.
Hanging on with all the strength she had in her body, her arms, her legs. This was what she understood. This discomfort. This pain. The cost of success, the sacrifice required to complete the ride.
Eight seconds.
Eight seconds, it was all she needed. And then the horse went right when she expected him to keep going left, and she felt herself losing her grip on the saddle.
No.
She was flying through the air, but she had enough time to try and tuck herself in, to try and roll just right, so she didn’t end up with broken bones again. At least, to the best of her ability. Still, the ground was mean, and she heard the horse’s hooves connect the dirt right next to her head. She rolled away, getting herself to safety, then stood, stumbling toward the edge of the arena. And that was when she heard Jake.
He was not happy.
“Move faster next time,” he growled.
“I was moving as fast as I could,” she shot back, reflexively brushing the dust off her body, though more trying to brush away the soreness.